marie antoinette: let them eat cake donald trump: lol you let them eat?

Look all I’m saying is if I were a library ghost just hanging out minding my own library ghost business in my library and a bunch of performative science males started stomping around hootin and hollerin and shooting lasers at me I’d be pretty angry too

This is Lukas. It's his first time swimming. He's kinda nervous, but we think he's doing a great job. 13/10 (TT: lukassss707)

What do those pencil-necked desk jockeys know about art? This is a massive improvement.

It’s only November 5th and I’m already sick of at least three Christmas ads.

America declares: We CAN have nice things!

Okay, I've seen enough. Not election night related, just been a long year and I have seen way too many things

I was prepared to spend the better part of the evening checking election results, but they've already called it. Thanks, Virginia! I'm happy to never have to think about Glenn Youngkin or Winsome Earle-Sears again.

✔️snow ✔️about family and redemption ✔️a mysterious bearded man arrives on a sledge Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein is a Christmas Movie

Rooting not just for a Game 7 of the World Series, but another 18 inning game that goes so long on Saturday night that the clocks fall back at 2am before it’s ended and everyone gets tremendously confused about what time it is.

Love to live in a country where judges have to legally force the president not to withhold food from people.

learning to speak ghost on Ghoulingo

Honestly, Ray Parker Jr. is the last person who needs to call the Ghostbusters. He’s not even afraid!

Sorry ghost traditionalists but haunting people while you’re still alive is just better. Like I have this friend who borrowed a book a while ago and never returned it, and the other night I followed him around his house opening his kitchen cabinets and booing him, and you know what? Got my book back

Hi bluesky I made you a giraph ok thanks

"Hot tamales" are a horrible candy but a great exclamation if you're a kid sidekick in a PG rated detective story

"ChatGPT is great for brainstorming!" Actually we have a tool for that already! It's called thinking. We use our brain. It's called brainstorming! Clue is in the name.

Boxers sometimes seem so confused and annoyed when the other fella punches them. What did you think was going to happen, champ? He's been talking about doing this for weeks. He's put his special punching gloves on for it.

really did not expect to hearing about nazis all the time in 2025 was just not something i considered tbh

This remains the funniest way to hear about an internet outage, though.

Another beautiful day of not having to run a mile before English class

heartbroken to learn the pope sympathizes with the poor. how can i continue to believe in god

My biggest flaw is not paying attention when the rules are explained for a challenge on a reality show and having to piece together what the contestants have to do. I have never once learned from this and don't ever plan to.

Happy Columbo’s Day

Hey in most cases this is not what we’re stressed about right now

Experiment successful.

that dog hasn’t eaten in minutes. she saved his life

don't judge a man 'til you've walked a mile in his shoes all the way to the courthouse where you put on a black robe and get your gavel and tell the bailiff to bring in the next defendant and hear their testimony and make a decision by fairly interpreting and applying the law and

bad bunny should not play the super bowl half time show because he is not a good role model for children. they should get good bunny

got into an argument with my cat again but we came to an agreement: she can do whatever she wants

You should be able to Trick or Treat for little snacks every day in October

*beastie boys* well old homer simpson made nuclear POWER getting paid peanuts by the HOUR all the employees are taking TURNS getting abused by mr BURNS and so he became a union MAN going on strike for a dental PLAN didnt want his daughter to make FUNNY FACES because after all LISA NEEDS BRACES

Matthew 15:29-31: And great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them after verifying their citizenship status.

slightly ominous mailer from the Red Cross

Ghost Baby Clifford is here to announce that it is officially spooky season. Let the festivities commence.

To be very clear, the actual war against Christianity is the people who use the cross as a means to carry out the most heinous acts against the same people Christ would have left the flock to comfort

Lmao my 4yo is calling it “Cake Pop Demon Hunters”

There have always been trans people. There will always be trans people. The only "trans agenda" is to live authentically. Removing trans rights, banning trans people from sports, taking away care for trans people puts you on the wrong side of history. Trans rights are human rights 🩵💗🤍

We need more high-stakes prize offerings. Thank you, Maisie. #taskmaster

Is there anything more Sisyphian than checking the "keep me logged in on this device" box?

Should I put up an out-of-office message in case the rapture happens? "I will be out of the office indefinitely"?

this country used to have class. when you were bribing a politician or reporter you gave them the money in a proper burlap sack with a big dollar sign on it. nowadays they just shove the wad of dough in a takeout bin or chip bag with nary a how do you do for your trouble

This is your friendly reminder that hate wrapped in scripture is still hate.

🎵Nice day to... start aga-ain

"This isn't who we are," says nation whose history books are a bunch of redactions