Cool, is there like a form I need to fill out or

Socks' vet visit summary from today: "Physical exam was good overall, and it's great his weight has remained stable. X-rays didn't show any blockages or other major issues. We also ran a full panel of blood work. At owners' request, handsomeness evaluation was done and scored 10/10."

One thing you could never possibly explain to straight people is the specific way lesbians of a certain age go feral when “Can’t Fight the Moonlight” (Coyote Ugly, 2000) comes on.

he’s doing pilates

Recently found out a friend has been lying about masking. Constantly guilting me about how much they miss me, pressing to hang out indoors, swearing they’re safe. Sheepishly now telling me they knowingly came into my home two days after COVID exposure. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this angry.

Hope is a fuel. Use it to burn down something terrible.

Telling a guy to touch grass but then he touches the vines from The Ruins: Oh no. Fuck. That's not what I meant. Shit

Me: You want a dinosaur fruit snack? Wife: 🤨 Me: What??? Wife: Where’d you get dinosaur fruit snacks? Me: The grocery store. Wife: So there’s a box of them? Me: Yes. Wife: Then I don’t want *a* dinosaur fruit snack; I want a *pack* of dinosaur fruit snacks. 🤨

My seven-year-old neighbor told me they talked about how to be a good neighbor at school and that she told her teacher I am her “above average neighbor” because I hand out full-size candy bars for Halloween and “know a lot about sharks.”

omw to the first day of college basketball

thank you for the outpouring of support! those of us laid off from Teen Vogue yesterday are now sharing our GoFundMe to help us cover our emergency expenses now that we've lost our incomes, as we get back on our feet.

OH MY GOD I DON'T NEED YOUR AI! I NEED YOU TO GET IT OFF MY SCREEN SO I CAN DO MY JOBBBBB!!!!!!

"There are no longer any Black women working at Teen Vogue." Damn, what a coincidence. All these news orgs keep laying off the same types of people while a bilious, rapey, leather-faced buffoon provides them cover and shakes them down for money to build a library named for a man who does not read.

“I see you’ve unlocked a new special interest” is a thing my wife just said to me. 😂

the password to the louvre surveillance server was "louvre" www.thesocialpost.it/2025/11/02/f...

I can’t make you mask, but don’t get mad at me when I won’t hang out with you after I’ve seen so many photos of you in public indoor spaces unmasked! Don’t ask me to put myself in danger because you’re a fully grown adult who still can’t handle peer pressure and wants to look like everyone else!

If your AI tool is soooo good I cannot even live without it, how come you gotta try to trick me into clicking on it or make it so I can't opt out of it? If it's such an incredible necessary product, how come I don't WANT to use it but am being BULLIED into using it? 🧐

I am on a crockpot soup roll! Four great soups in a row! Anybody got any good recipes to share? (I hate hate hate hate onions.) (Hate them.)

This World Series has been really good for boys’ baseball!

NewMatch is such a cool program. They even match monthly donations! $5 a month becomes $10 a month for the whole next year!

Me: “Um.” @natthedem.bsky.social: “We deserve this.”

When I went into the pharmacy there was a guy on the corner yelling “Satan ain’t gonna make you happy” over and over, and two teen Loraxes were dancing around him. I came out and now there’s like 13 Loraxes and someone has a speaker playing Monster Mash. New York City!

Me and @mileswgriffis.bsky.social had so much fun with this. 😂

Today's my day to shine as my wife's co-workers drop photos of their costumed children into Slack and I explain them all. "That's a Saja Boy from KPop Demon Hunters. Soda pop emoji. That's a Labubu. Ogre emoji. Glinda and Elphaba. Pink heart, green heart. Showgirl. Football. 6 7. Twitchy eye emoji."

A good list for people in NYC to share about how people impacted by SNAP cuts might access some food: open.substack.com/pub/eboyle/p...

#HazbinHotel is BACK and I have written about the first two episodes, plus teased a little about what's to come in the rest of the season. (You're in for a treat or three, that's the Hazbin guarantee!) www.autostraddle.com/hazbin-hotel...

Just want to make sure: We are not fucking giving out ramen and beef jerky on Halloween. We are giving kids CANDY and TOYS and a NORMAL HOLIDAY and then donating to food pantries and stocking our local community fridge.

My wife and I are about to embark on brand new, treacherous territory. For the first time in our relationship, we're shipping different lesbian couples on the same show.

In honor of spooky season, this week's newsletter is all about things that scare me. Some feel very logical to me, some I know might seem silly but THEY'RE REAL TO ME. (There's also a little bonus section for paid subscribers, something new I'm trying!) valerieanne.substack.com/p/fear-itself

I just opened up a my college copy of Rebecca and a printed boarded pass from the first time Stacy came to visit me — 15 years ago — fell out. 🥹

As the shutdown continues, SNAP benefits are on the line. But because of Trump's spending bill, states will be forced to reduce SNAP while imposing stricter eligibility and recertification requirements, forcing some states to end their SNAP programs entirely. prismreports.org/2025/09/29/b...

The kinship I feel with this woman standing next to me in the grocery store who just mumbled to herself “two four-ounce cans of green chilis, two 16-ounce cans of Great Northern beans, come on baby girl, don’t give up.”

A woman asked me to help her get a coat for her son, but I was on my way to the doctor so I gave her what cash I had and gave her son the big fluffy New York Liberty hoodie I was wearing, which he immediately gasped that he was gonna give to his sister.

I told the post office clerk I needed some stamps with my usual caveat: no flags, no white guys. She rummaged through the drawer and said "Is SpongeBob a white guy?" and everyone on line was like "No."

Socks picked some flowers for you!

Does your doctor need more info on Long COVID? Our new webpage features resources made FOR doctors, BY doctors! longcovidjustice.org/providers

Probably the two greatest clapbacks in narrative history are when Clare comes out on Derry Girls and Erin says she’s not into her like that and Clare gasps “I’m not into YOU like that; look at the state of you!” and when Angelica Schuyler goes “I’m not here for you. 🤨”

Have just found out there are TEN lesbians from my high school class. It is absolutely inexcusable how bad our basketball team was.

In addition to money donations to food banks & food aid for people, please also consider donating money or food & litter to pet food pantries. Many people who rely on SNAP to feed themselves will now need to redirect $ to buy groceries that they would have spent on pet food before.

If you’re looking for a place to donate money to help folks losing SNAP, may I suggest my local food pantry? They do all kinds of incredible mutual aid work that *directly benefits* people in Queens. www.astoriafoodpantry.com

I told a little kid I liked his stegosaurus hoodie (it had rainbow “spikes”!!!) and he got real shy and ran to catch up with his dad. Stacy goes “Good, don’t talk to strangers!” I was like “Me or the kid?” And she goes “The kid. You stay in strangers’ business like a video game protagonist.”

Me: Our upstairs neighbor has been so clompy! Do you think she got some of those Dutch clogs? Wife: You think our young trendy lawyer neighbor is wearing wooden shoes? Me: She’s not wearing sneakers! Wife: Oh my beloved middle age butch lesbian. Do you think shoes are either sneakers or wood?

Does anyone have a recommendation for some kind of little heating mitts or something for computer working? My tiny little film editor wife gets the most freezing ice block hands in the winter when she’s working in endlessly cold rooms and she’s got a bonkers full calendar the rest of the year.

I love videos of dogs and cats using those talking buttons. Dogs going “cuddle” “more” “thank you.” And cats going “angry” “treat” “angry.”

If these social algorithms are soooo smart why can’t they figure out the deal when me and someone else follow all the same accounts but not each other? People you might know? Oh, I know her all right. WE’RE ENEMIES.

Me: 🎶 Oh I’m done hiding now I’m shining 🎶 My super duper guy’s guy neighbor behind the fence between us: 🎶 LIKE I’M BORN TO BEEEEE 🎶

Morning MNBA news: FBI busts up a betting ring, including a literal head coach and player. Morning WNBA news: Bisexual unicorn and Stud Bud seen holding hands.

NYC Mayoral Debate MAMDANI: I want to make NYC a better place to live CUOMO: I want Mandala over here to admit he can't do anything, because I can't do anything SLIWA: I would drink a $27 Moscow mule from Andrew Cuomo's skull

Man at post office tried to explain to me how the package chute works. I was like "Oh my god, amazing." He looked so smug and I was like "No, no, when I saw you walking across the parking lot, I was like, 'That man loves explaining things to women' and I was right!" He gasped like I punched him. :)