World Cup refs love holding flags

God it’s not at all depressing when people start talking about athletes your age being such an inspiration for still being in the game

You can tell Greg Gutfield is very funny because of the sideways laughing emoji. They don’t do that with average funny guys.

I just finished mowing the grass, and my six-year-old very sweetly handed me a cup of milk because he figured I was hot. And then, he came out with the biggest cup of ice water and said, I had to do water for myself because there was no milk left.

Oh hell yeah we get to keep pickles in this national divorce

Do not kill your inner Karen, white ladies. Aim her at injustice.

One unfortunate thing I’ve learned in life is that a lot of people lose their morality the second the New York Times asks if they’d like to write an op-ed

We're really wasting the concept of a Great American State Fair because a REAL Great American State Fair would have fried foods even God didn't dare to imagine.

Got a new metal mixing bowl so I can make two focaccias at once, but now, all I can think about is how this is the ideal bowl for tossing ingredients. The excitement that I’m feeling is the peak mid-30s experience

Trans rights now. Trans rights forever.

fix your hearts

I told my kid that I would play him in chess once my migraine medicine kicked in, so naturally, he is singing the jiggly puff theme into a megaphone to pass the time

As a pretzel enthusiast, I am here to assure you that the Costco pretzel bagels are just as magical as you had hoped

No kings but that one cook on Instagram with a mullet who makes his wife breakfast every morning

All I wanted to do was sew and now I gotta deal with the blazers news again.

Bread.

I picked the right season to get into bread baking

Whether or not someone was homeschooled does not determine if that person grows up and stays a conservative christian. Whether or not someone listened to mewithoutYou in youth group, however, is a sure sign that they will not.

First batch without added yeast. A little denser than I’d like but the tang is 🤌🏻

Got a Costco-sized bag of bread flour and busted it while putting it away 🤡

My 8-year-old asked me to make him pajama pants with this fabric because, as he said all throughout Michael’s, “it’s Pride Month” so here we are I guess

Both the Saturday and Sunday crosswords were winners. Today’s was especially cute!

EVERYTHING IS SO CHRISTIAN NOW AND I HATE IT

My husband and I were just discussing our last house where our dishwasher was, I kid you not, over ten feet away from the sink and the cabinets, and it’s a real “bitch you lived like that” kind of thing

Petition for Phoebe Bridgers to cover East Enders Wives IYKYK.

Chocolate chip cookies

It IS elitist to pay for Culver’s. That’s why I always go in cargo pants and, when no one is looking, stuff one side pocket with shrimp, one side pocket with cheese curds, and two back pockets with ice cream

My favorite thing is to buy two games of bowling so I can spend the first round feeling like maybe I should go pro and then the second wondering if I have ever held a bowling ball in my entire life

St. Louis problem: my newest bag of red hot riplets are one of the ones where they skimped on the seasonings

Is music criticism dead? We asked 23 versions of the same kind of guy and one screenshot of a woman’s tweet to find out out

Turkey coach, huh? What’s his deal?

The band leader of the U.S. anthem really has to pee or something

My corniest opinion is that I think it’s incredibly sweet that yoplait understands just how beloved these jars are and actually show it with things like occasional designs, easy-to-peel labels, and lids. And they do it all for what you’d pay for a plastic container yogurt

Please. Minnesota has been through enough. Don’t release this man on your streets

I don’t know how to tell my husband I’m back on the sauce (buying oui yogurt just because I want to save the jars for my many, many crafts)

Decided I'm going to get really into medieval art, so if anyone has any good book recs, hit me up

I'm going to share a hack for how to fully enjoy Jane Austen movie adaptations, but you all aren't going to like it

Oh no I accidentally listened to my favorite mewithoutYou album too much around my late dog and now all I can think about is him

Parenting is telling your kids a million times a day “this is just a marketing ploy” until they move out

If Foxing’s song “Nearer My God” ever fails to make me choke up, just put me in the ground already

No parenting book tells you this but kids have a built-in sense for when you’re doing things that require privacy (for example using the restroom or getting dressed) and will barge into your room because they’ve decided this is when they need you the most

The NBA draft music is whimsical as hell. If they ever change it, I will riot

All I want is for real estate agents to stop doing the sped up zooms on their videos

I talked the other day about how my new book club was reading Sanderson but multiple members are trying to push through super queer books for our next meeting, and as someone living in a very red town, I’m going to stay in this one forever

If it’s a crime to mow the grass while looking this sexy, lock me up

Smh the internet is even taking the jobs of the Josephine Bakers

Sometimes, sobriety feels really easy and really rewarding, and other times, I’m standing there in front of an oven staring angrily at a veggie quesadilla wondering what’s actually stopping me from becoming a wine mom

It won’t even put a dent in redeeming them for making Donald Trump palatable, but SNL making Tucker Carlson laughable to a mainstream audience has been a very good move.

If I was Giannis, I would never announce my move. I would simply bask in the constant attention.