looking good brotha 👍

Idk it feels like something is shifting. This tweet was also the language of the AP push alert, and just now the Times chimed in:

to me, this is beautiful.

when you say it they attack you!!! they say things like “sir that is objectively false” and “not a single study supports that” and “you sound like a such fucking moron right now”

ah, yes, the american shorthair. we need a photo that says “if push comes to shove, this cat will hold everyone you love hostage.”

what are we doing about people who listen to loud videos on their phones in waiting rooms? sitting in silent judgement is not working

dudes rock

[walking out on stage to pyrotechnics and a laser light show set to bawitdaba] LLLLLETS GET RRRRREADY TO mourn the death of this modern day jesus.

standing really close to my nice friend in case the rapture is real so I can hold her leg like a balloon string when she starts taking off

"history is also going to remember the cowards who definitely knew better but still let things happen—whether it was for money, convenience, or just comfort. Use ... the only phrase that can genuinely make a weak bully go away: F**k you. Make me.”" www.pajiba.com/news/john-ol...

when I die please have me taxidermied and sitting in a chair in the back of the room at my service. I want to see how long it takes people to notice. then they can take pictures with me or whatever, I don’t care.

very unfair and possibly cheating to report my exact words and actions in the newspaper. looking into it.

none of my posts have been as mean as this painting is

have they tried not doing 97-99% negative things

do you guys like my new favorite shirt

Trump criticizes Pam Bondi for not charging his adversaries quickly enough, in a Truth Social post that looks a lot like a DM. truthsocial.com/@realDonaldT...

ROB, PLEASE BRING ME MY IMODIUM I CANT STOP POOPING oops I thought this was a private channel with my husband sorry trying to delete

this charlie kirk deification is some of the weirdest shit i have ever seen

absolutely nothing I do is AI. these are homegrown brain turds and I am very proud of them.

you read what I wrote and are quite reasonably going “hrm no that can’t be right” but

had to read the article to understand wtf was going on here which is that Meta is literally feeding Instagram pictures parents took of their teenage daughters to middle aged men as ads for Threads

another instance where “fuck you, make me” is the optimal reply

“please don’t put in the newspaper that I texted you top secret details about war crimes”

I know we’re pretending there aren’t any laws anymore and Trump can just pull whatever sweaty grift he wants now, but what the everloving fuck is this?!

trying to get people to stop using chatgpt feels a lot like trying to close the stable door but the horse escaped like 50 years ago and the barn has since burned down and been replaced with an amazon warehouse.

this exists it is called thinking

my vet says kittens have different texture preferences for chomping things. so far mine has a preference for the soft meat of my inner arm. be real with me, is this thing going to start hunting me?

lining up to feed your brains to billionaire tech bros in exchange for a poorly written email and an emoji girlfriend. embarrassing.

some personal news! if you say “I used chatgpt for this” to me I will pull your nose out as far as I can and let it go *boyoyoyoyoing* back to your face

“I’m full of personality, as the robots will tell you.”

That last line is one of the absolute single scariest things to me and that it was said with such casual happiness is even more disturbing. Not distressing. Full tilt disturbing.

this is fucking grosssssssssssss

he’s so tough. the toughest president we’ve ever had. if you hurt his feelings he will run you over with his Big Wheel.

no one knows more about what’s going on in my life than the lady who schedules appointments at my doctor’s office.

Dutch late night TV has its take

How embarrassing to work for the organized kidnapping ring known as "ICE." Rolling out of bed every day to be a brainless goon. You are lower than a worm to me

RFK Jr, who is causing unprecedented damage, is deeply unpopular with the public. Democrats absolutely need to demand his firing as a basic minimum for supporting any effort to fund the government.

I am biased but I don’t think there is a better website on the internet today than TheOnion.com.

elvis doesn’t have first, second, or even third amendment rights. do you think you deserve more rights than elvis? you fool. you absolute moron.

it’s still legal to make fun of donald trump with satire because he does not know what that is

"I like so many things about free speech. I like that my friends on TV can say they want to kill homeless people and then keep showing up for work like nothing happened."

Hi everyone. Subscribe to The Onion. Thank you.

is this good

I’m going to make a lot of pasta and watch a DVD like a CAVE PERSON because I’m tired of these streaming service monopolizing conglomerate billionaire dick farts.

if you’ve spent more than two minutes reading my posts you know how much contempt I hold Dem leadership in but this is good and they should reiterate it on TV demanding a resignation rather than just calling it “unacceptable” is correct and they are threatening subpoenas when they get that power