Tried to explain what a labubu is to my grandpa and he shot me in the leg

Attorney General Pam Bondi further cemented the Trump administration's takeover of DC law enforcement on Thursday by shifting decision-making authority from its police chief and handing it to the head of the Drug Enforcement Administration, Terry Cole. www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...

I'm so old I call my boner classic rock.

my four year old daughter, clearly stewing for months, brought up out of nowhere today that at preschool last year kids were going behind a tree to say “the F word,” but that nobody would teach her what it was. “I want to know the F word,” she told me sadly

[first date] so do u like food

Been gone for a while... Went to Virginia. Captured these shots from the train I was on.

OnlyFans but it’s just me bringing my milkshake to your yard.

I'm so done with this pseudo reality... just take me back to the matrix now ffs

the bar for straight men getting laid is so comically low that it is tragic they can’t meet it 1. don’t be a dick 2. wash your ass 3. put a modicum of effort into your clothes and habitat 4. know the basics of female anatomy that’s basically it! and i know women who will compromise on those!

Bluesky is the only place I encounter aggressive grandmas

So if they were up, they’d be wrong too, right Kev? “…whichever way they are going.” Do they hear themselves?

got kicked out of another cheerleading team tryouts for ranting about the objective case “WHOM do we appreciate”

We’ll be lucky to have dial-up internet and diesel fuel when Dipshitler is done with us in 42 months.

Maybe there’s hope. Federal judges sounded very skeptical today as Trump’s team tried to defend using “emergency powers” to slap tariffs on countries worldwide. One judge even asked: “Where does it say ‘tariffs’ in the law?”

Leavitt refers to Trump as the "former president"

😡

My AI girlfriend has SO MANY fingers.

Alan Dershowitz announces a mammoth new lawsuit: he’s personally suing every resident, visitor, and vacationer on Martha’s Vineyard for being mean to him.

We call you, unfit, unhinged. Too ill. A political hack, not very good, we say that about you. Your projections are spot on. "Not very good" "Not very smart"

Wait. Wut???? "Biden's war" You actually said, "you could stop it within 24 hrs, or even before you git'in" You said, "it would've never happened if you're in the WH." You're in the WH now, STOP IT, MR. TOUGH, STRONG GUY, FLNOTUS.

Make everyone come to you from now on.

In LA. Bought this for the message... Love you guys. Xoxoxo ❤️❤️❤️

So tired of traveling

i'm being hounded by former friends again...

i love when people are like “you fuck with them, you fuck with me” it’s like cool i didn’t expect a threesome today and then i get neked

The Trump administration's chaotic State Department reorganization, which includes the termination of 1,350 professionals, has been predominantly inspired and executed by two twentysomethings who compensate for their lack of experience with nationalist extremism.  shero.substack.com/p/a-small-ca...

(hitting you over and over again with a mannequin's arm) the artificially intelligent arm apologizes

In a move urged by Trump as a way to help the GOP retain control of the US House in next year’s midterm elections, Texas Republicans are poised to redraw the state’s congressional map during a special session. apnews.com/article/trum...

getting my hypothalamus surgically removed so that I can finally rule NightSky

it’s my super humble opinion that americans don’t say twat or cunt enough

So sad!!! I'm devastated 😭💔

Malcolm-Jamal Warner, the actor who played teenage son Theo Huxtable on “The Cosby Show,” has died at age 54 in an accidental drowning in Costa Rica, authorities there said Monday. apnews.com/article/malc...

Life is nothing more than the accumulation of crap. With that said, I need more crap.

This book is just some guy talking about himself when is he going to get to the cars? - me reading an autobiography

Don't blink, parents. This kid built his first computer at 8 years old and now towers above me, handling all my tech problems... Making straight As at University. Proud Mama. Life moves fast. Hug your babies.

@owenfromohio.bsky.social📸 @laurahunter-88.bsky.social @twitterrefugeeog.bsky.social @tonyhq1985.bsky.social @slove4981.bsky.social @bm1970.bsky.social @lasassypants.bsky.social @annettebeebe.bsky.social @tcrg2012.bsky.social @cardwell4u.bsky.social @katarinakriz.bsky.social @dailykotzn.bsky.social

Nightcap, then off to recharge my battery #goodnight

Look, I refuse to run unless I'm being chased, but I can't stop laughing of this video of JD Vance at Disneyland.

ok chat, goodnight to the "boys", and in some cases, "gals" oh screw that idiot goodnight to all my friends regardless of gender identity ❤️

Once again it is time to post noods

Welcome to my island ❤️

Throwing apples at my doctor.

I always mess up my acronyms but I say them anyway because YOLO (you of losing out)

Making oral sex more appealing by salting the rim.

“… and then Granny Smith and Red Delicious lived apply ever after” My son sorta came up with this joke, please clap.

this is not a summer for Beach Bums. this is the summer for Beach Ass

New old neighbor alert. .when you realize someone in fact is alive and still lives there.

just glad I’m not a snake, I’d get all tangled up like a garden hose, fuck that