This is my sad time of day. It is the time when I wait for the mail to come. It always makes me very unhappy.

NO WAR WITH VENEZUELA

timeline cleanse: franky watches the garbage truck pick up the trash this morning

JOKES ON US - dashare.zone ADMIN

I know it's become trite in A.D. 2025 to say everything is a cult, but I'm pretty sure Bill is running a sex cult, and any assassinations perform by the Deadly Vipers (of which we see 0 in a 4.5-hour runtime!) are incidental to his exercising control over his four women cult members.

Going for a pee break.

I’m thrilled that Dick Van Dyke made it to 100 years old, and I also find it hilarious that he’s apparently too old to play with LEGO. Him specifically.😆

A podcast asked me to record a voice note about my prediction for 2026 and here it is.

never give up your alone time bc that’s when you get to be really disgusting

White men have been griping about the unfair advantages given to Black people since literally the day after slavery

If you know your shit, you could come be my coworker condenast.wd5.myworkdayjobs.com/en-US/CondeC...

I think this is a pretty good arrangement, I blame all of you for it not having more views. www.youtube.com/watch?v=bot-...

In Boston, we like our protests with a whole lot of history. #teaparty #dumpICE #Dec16

Spotted in Houston: two hacked variable message signs. That the signs were placed on the sidewalk, blocking pedestrian access, makes the messages all the more urgent.

Rob Reiner either made your favorite movie, or made somebody you know’s favorite movie. If you’re a Californian, he’s also part of the reason you or your friends can get married. He has changed more lives for the better than this asshole commenting on him ever did.

One of the biggest moments of my career: USCIS canceled my client’s naturalization oath ceremony. We filed a lawsuit, went to trial, and the judge swore him in right there in the courtroom!

Guess who discovered if you lay on a cellphone it keeps you nice & warm. + entertaining watching whooman frantically searching.

We're getting festive whether we want to or not. youtu.be/O6yverT8_x0?...

This is stuck in my head for the rest of my life now

It really was a wildly successful political project to re-define “elitism” as “listening to professors and researchers” and not “agreeing with whatever drug addled wealthy lunatic perverts say”

*walking in a winter wonderland* ME: where's bluebird? BIRD: gone ME: w... who are you? *bird looks around shiftily* BIRD: I'm new bird

Jonesy

If you're an old maid who looks like this please DM me

Tens of thousands of copies of this piece should be printed in pamphlet form and released over Washington, Hollywood, and Silicon Valley

I think it's kind of beautiful that this was Rob Reiner's final line on television

when a man opens the conversation with a “so what are you into”

Hey you! Stop playing Fortnite!

eBay option to fight the other bidder in the parking lot like gentlemen

This is what you were missing in your life grandma

A cool result of everything having AI in it now is there are a bunch of buttons on every application that I have to be careful to never push, and everything takes five more seconds to load during which there's an animation of bonzi buddy thinking really hard

Happy Hannukkah! www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWac...

Lol

Christmas night: "But Santa, you've hardly touched your Zardoz cookies."

Conservatives rebranded bigotry and every time the media uses “wokeness” as a euphemism they are helping a movement that it quite literally erasing the history marginalized people’s role in American life.

They used to "laugh and call him names." Now they're all dead

Nor is this all.

Happy 100th birthday to Dick Van Dyke, inventor of the DVD.

I wil never take ozempic, because what if the time finally comes to eat the rich and I have no appetite?

ever day I be like

📽️

surprisingly relatable in our current era

I sometimes wonder if I'm just an auld fella shaking my fist at clouds when I back off from modern tech, but the truth is, most big tech products are no longer built to be useful, they're built to rinse you for a minimum standard service. And even children can see this.

🎶 It was a strawberry bidet The kind you find in the homeware store

“I miss blockbuster video” the library has every dvd totally untouched and I never see you there

Give the gift of family to one of our many pets available for adoption at Harris County Pets. Now until December 15, all adoption fees are reduced making this the perfect opportunity to fill your heart with the love and warmth of a furry friend. View all adoptable pets at countypets.com/adopt.

#LetterboxdFriday! #LastFourFriday! #Filmsky! #LastFourWatched! MOVIES ARE TEH BEST