Did you not get embarrassed enough last year

popping popcorn and cranking up tom petty's free fallin' as i hit refresh on the bitcoin chart

Starting to think these weren’t really applied with the consideration required by law

Renfeild: I booked your passage on the Demeter, master Dracula: thankfs. dont foret the box of,, dert

They caved in March so they could get a better deal now. They’re caving now so they can get a better deal in some indeterminate future. The better deal is always just beyond their reach, but continuing to cave will get them there. And if you don’t agree with that, you don’t understand Politics,

shot a man in reno just to increase the murder rate for the reno metro area as part of a longterm plan to humiliate the newly elected sheriff who was my boyhood companion until our paths were crossed by a flamehaired girl who laughed like the dawn and how we sparred for her favor until the ague came

After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all

They should invent laws that rich people have to follow.

exactly. this is not difficult. as.ft.com/r/58ed1b23-d...

every xenoblade 1 cutscene

To me it is tragic that, just because of several hundred disgusting email exchanges with an international sex criminal, CBS viewers will be denied some of the most outrageously specious "wellness" advice imaginable. How are people going to find out about the chalk supplements he sells now?

I recently died of my injuries

Space Marine (watching me play Animal Crossing): Your island is infested with foul mutants. Me: They aren't mutants, that's just what animals look like in this game. Space Marine: I see. (Biskit asks me to give him a new catchphrase) Teach it to praise the Name of the Emperor.

Tonight other dumb napkin cartoon…

Insufferable Proposal

I know things are negative right now, but there’s a really inspiring movie in theaters starting today about a woman who worked up from being Jeffrey Epstein’s employee to being his best friend’s wife.

Early to bed and early to rise gives a bro time to game with the guys

me: could you stop looking into the camera like an oblivion npc guy in gay porn: I think we're all in for some hard times. The death of Uriel Septim and his heirs changes everything.

by popular request i have turned the meme into a blog post, which explains how it works, links to the template file and includes a selection of examples from the thread #KirbyFraming

DETECTIVE HARRY HOLE: Its me, norways famous detective, Harry Hole. in Norway it's a normal name. POLICE CHIEF: Hole, I'm glad you're here, and that your name is normal, in our culture. this is a hell of a murder

oh no

One of the things about Sauron is that he gave a bunch of rings to dwarves and elves and it didn’t turn them into big ghost monster wraiths like it did with guys so he kind of just gave them presents and was like “ah shit, I thought it would do the thing, dang”

Democrat fundraising spam text: I know you've read this, please don't block me. I'm literally crying and shitting myself because you're abandoning me Republican spam text: I'll fucking kill you

Incredibly, this is an actual photo New York Post used for the guy who attacked Ilhan Omar.

when they put me into the Clockwork Orange machine

Also a very heavy: "Josh Allen was in on the interviews and gave his opinions, but he DID NOT pick the head coach. DO NOT put on social media that he picked the head coach!" vibe coming out of Buffalo.

my guy was back out there doin Good Work with a broken rib from his previous encounter. name a fucking high school after him.

bari calls like 3 emergency all hands meetings a week to discuss the urgent problem of people making fun of her

This is extra painful because this is the one single thing that conservatives consider to be a Civil Right

Looks like she packed a bag lunch, smart

Look, when you’re a legendarily virile and energetic President, you’re gonna constantly be trying to cover up mysterious bruises on the backs of your hands,

british guy: i hope americans are ready to be hated lib american reply: i'm so ashamed of my countrymen, i hope that the british don't hate me specifically Hamburglar: i haven't stolen anything since i got sober

Iceland at Davos

Hello! I am ceo of computers. I am sorry to sayit is your duty to buy computer or the future won't happen. :(

Posting this to X, Threads, and Bluesky as an experiment

Favorite show: LOST!!! Favorite actor: Josh holloway 🥵 Favorite song: you all everybody by DRIVESHAFT Favorite food: boar meat Favorite John Locke: the one from Lost. Not the philosophy.

pretty sure he meant the other thing, grok, but very cool that those are your two things

a few years ago a student in office hours told me i seemed like a sigma male and i asked him what that meant and he said it's a guy who is so confident he doesn't care about being an alpha and i said "well i guess in an absolute sense that's true" and he was like "that's such a sigma thing to say"

“does the fiction film have coherent radical politics?” is a question that sounds like “can you take me to the potty? i can’t go by myself!”

Having seen several abductions up close, it is really hard to convey how much the thing they’re doing is roaming in military convoys until they see someone who is alone and isn’t white, and then jumping out in large numbers, pulling them into a van, and screeching off, all in 90 seconds or so.