Vince McMahon meme for every part of this

Emailing wives of the guys who didn't make it

I thought I was turning into a Watch/Jewelry Guy but turns out I'm just becoming my dad

Getting there

it's probably bad that every year now we get reports that the sky in a major city looks like the radioactive ruins of Las Vegas in Blade Runner 2049

Can't believe Chris Nolan made a whole ass movie about a minivan

Eating a head of lettuce like an apple and then washing it down with a Panera lemonade

Considering becoming a Watch Guy but specifically for the sub $50 Timex I wear as my daily driver

McConnell: my ass fell off Graham: my ass exploded Cheney: I shot my own ass off Hulk Hogan: I'm also dead, brother

Everyone is booing me for trying to lay down a bunt during the home run contest but fundamentals is what wins ball games

lmao the quote RT prompt going around about if you could do your siblings jobs is from a professor at my university

does every Odyssey tweet criticizing online chuds have to be prefaced with a dig at Christopher Nolan? Yeah man I want to call out these weirdo racists but just as importantly I don't want people to think I liked Inception or something

[extremely 1980s stand up comic talking about how they should make the plane out of the black box voice] they should make Tokyo Vice with just the police and Yakuza parts with Ken Watanabe as the lead

Before we say it's too early for Costco to put this up for sale we should consider the possibility this was a giant regular guy who melted due to the July heat

The Giants drafted Barry Bonds' nephew - who's actually a decent prospect - and also Trot Nixon's son. And Jim Thome's kid was drafted by the White Sox yesterday. The passage of time - what a concept!

At a very baseline level why would you bother to say something nice about someone who absolutely wouldn't do the same if the situation were reversed? To be a "bigger person?" It's not a contest but if it were by not being a ghoul in life like them you're already winning

A coffee shop/strip club called The Daily Grind. Why hasn't anyone done this yet? Oh right, the possibility of being horrifically burned

since I still can't use the app or the regular site I'll need everyone to picture this post: Alonzo Mourning shaking his head and then nodding gif with the comment "me waiting all week on some decrepit old bitch to kick it"

The Knicks and England both can't win it in the same year, right? The Sports Gods wouldn't possibly allow that?

Been considering getting a nice automatic watch for a while now and I think I'm going to keep this one my dad wore on special occasions for myself

Now I understand why they call it the "beautiful game"

Now watching The Long Walk. I don't see the problem, I would simply buy a car?

I think Iceland kinda nailed it with crispy onions, chopped raw onions, Icelandic ketchup, sweet mustard, and remoulade. But if I can't go to Reykjavík it's ketchup + yellow mustard with maybe a little relish

I'm back and posting on [checks notes] ...BlueSky via deer dot social? Yeah, good. OK.

Hey guys, being in Texas I got the age verification bullshit again. I'm able to post this via workaround but tbh it kinda sucks and I'm not sure this site is worth the hassle. Smell you later for now (?) and remember - National Bikini Day is a real and legitimate holiday

hell yeah France do it for Bérénice Marlohe and that sandwich I ate one time

got an email about some new Poshmark HAZMAT labeling policy and I dunno if your clothes pose that much a safety risk maybe you shouldn't be reselling them?

Mitch McConnell did not email my wife because he died

Now watching for the first time, Cruel Intentions. Can't wait to talk about it tomorrow in homeroom

National Bikini Day 100%

I'm not even a casual every 4 years soccer fan but it seems like the USMNT has been getting the same WC result for a while now? Other countries are all "ok we'll take you seriously but also c'mon," which considering we're not invested 365 days a year like everyone else is pretty good?

I guess I'll root for France since that's where I ate the best sandwich of my life

The Belgians are going to celebrate by dousing their fries and all of their other food in mayonnaise

Trump phone call is the inverse of Danhausen uncursing the Knicks on Cameo. Hit send tweet on this totally coherent and logical sentence

Shredder standing behind a tree while wearing a yellow suit and rubbing his hands as he awaits news on Mitch McConnell

Mitch McConnell's office won't confirm if he's laying on his back, his belly baking in the hot sun, beating his legs trying to turn himself over, but he can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.

whether it's sports, politics, movies, music, or even food it's called the BlueSky dot com curse - not knowing ball yet frequently and loudly (somehow even though it's text) posting anyway

my office has another team building thing in Nov and each time we've gotten free stuff. Office branded Yeti water bottle, Yeti coffee tumbler, fleece vest, things of that nature. Maybe this is the year for a crewneck sweatshirt? If it's in the budget, 90s style Starter jacket?

seeing a lot of back and forth on Americans/Europeans being bad and let me just say all you honkies are bad

I'm hearing reports that it's always two dumb bitches telling each other "exactlyyyy"

National Bikini Day is coming to a close. Time to begin preparing for the next one (tomorrow)

Now starting Tokyo Vice. I guess Ansel Elgort and Ken Watanabe are Crockett and Tubbs' non-union Japanese equivalents?

like everyone on BlueSky dot biz I'm also excited about the Sacramento Kings summer league games

I've been to Belgium and I'm still unsure that it actually exists

Are you telling me soccer's governing body might be kind of crooked? I won't stand for that, I'm going back to watching boxing

250 years of National Bikini Day - we couldn't have done it without your support!

Mr President they call it a "cleansing rain" and we should get you and your entire administration out there to experience it with your loudest and most annoying followers