Are we sure the explosion wasn't just the result of a steady diet of beans and Dunkin iced coffee

Dishonoring my ancestors by eating at Panda Express

Sometimes I'll look at the Sneakers subreddit to see posts about what people take on vacation and it's always something like "going on a 5 day trip, here's my 12 pair rotation of the most expensive and uncomfortable shoes that I'll put 20K steps a day into"

Produce a TV show about a polygamist detective who solves crime with his wives

They go through this *every* single time they have to book musicians for an event and it seems like the easiest solution would be to offer an inordinate amount of money to perform. But of course paying people goes against one of his core beliefs

In a just world Spencer Pratt would be polling in the negatives solely on the basis of being Spencer Pratt

fountain cherry coke double double animal style mcdouble eaten late at night in your car following a concert

The handheld I ordered has been sitting in Customs for over 3 weeks now because the shipper and last mile delivery company are in a standoff over who should I guess do their job?

Imagine if Frank Herbert were alive today to see the Pope railing against AI. He'd probably celebrate with a bunch of cocaine

Manager: welcome back, how was the conference Me: very informative. I learned that clowning isn't just honk-honk

God: you can either win an Oscar or the Knicks- Chalamet: KNICKS God: I didn't even finish- Chalamet: BING BONG

Going to burn a sick day tomorrow since I got back to town Friday and then spent the weekend driving my dad's truck 2.5 hours out to my BIL

If a little league game is out of hand they should let one parent get an at-bat or pitch an inning

If Joyce Carol Oates' analogy holds my timeline is the pretzel emporium in the upscale mall that is Bluesky dot biz

Bluesky is a bubble and we need more users who think clowning *is* just honk-honk

Memorial Day Weekend is widely known as the unofficial start of National Bikini Day

I guess it's because he's "mayor" or whatever but I think Mamdani should've worn a jersey instead of a suit to the Knicks game. Next time he should show up to MSG in a Marcus Camby or Larry Johnson throwback

Man even when my flight goes well (lands 10 minutes early) the plane still ends up sitting on the runway for like 25-30 min waiting for a gate. There is a real coordination/communication issue going on and the only solution is beating up Secretary Road Rules

Inside the Knicks locker room there's a Simpsons DO IT FOR HER-style sign with pictures of Timothee Chalamet

I went to a taping of The Late Show 3 years ago. Colbert was very nice, Justin Theroux and Woody Harrelson were exactly what you'd expect, and The Walkmen performed for the first time in a decade. It was very cool to see the inner workings of a TV show and how the sausage gets made* *show biz term

I learned that clowning isn't just honk-honk

I've been in this field for nearly two decades and somehow I'm still on the younger side of the median when it comes to conference attendees

There's a meeting of Detroit chapter Freemasons happening at the hotel right now and they seem to be all about wearing cool matching jackets with their logo

*SWISH*

They killed Grogu because he thought clowning is just honk-honk

I gotta say it's been difficult to sit through these conference sessions with "clowning isn't just honk-honk" rattling around in my brain

Cecil Terwilliger: clowning isn't just honk-honk

Instead of "Doordash" you guys should focus on making "more cash." I think this is the gist of the discourse but also I don't care

Of course one of the opening speakers did a whole bit set to Lose Yourself. White people love it since it's the only rap song they know

I might be the only person from my office and university at this conference, which unfortunately increases the expectation that I have to learn something

Feels wrong for Detroit to be in the Eastern Time Zone. Spiritually this city is CST

WELL IT TOOK AN EXTRA FIVE AND A HALF HOURS BUT I'M FINALLY IN DETROIT

I know you can't do much about bad weather but imo my flight being massively delayed is bitch ass wear a suit on a plane Secretary Road Rules' fault

Apparently I can't open my DMs on this app because of some local age verification requirement thing? Ohio what are you doing I'm not even supposed to be here

We're going on 2+ hours on the tarmac now and I'm loading up on Cheez Its and those Biscoff cookies

Because of a thunderstorm we had to reroute to Cleveland to refuel and one of the attendants made an announcement about deplaning and getting another flight to Detroit. Then the captain said no we're just refueling. Seems like the kind of thing you should get straight before announcing!

Shirts spotted in a group on my flight: - girl in one of those tshirts with a picture of a bathing suit printed on - guy with a tshirt that says NEED TWO MALE VOLUNTEERS FOR THREESOME - girl with a tshirt that says MILF: Man I Love Feet with pics of feet

What if it's pronounced "Don-vee" The entire Francophone world: Non! Non!!

Do they observe National Bikini Day in Michigan

Is this part of the Eightfold Path

Watching the strangest Columbo episode so far, Last Salute to the Commodore. You don't see the actual murder and Columbo has spent most of the episode learning about boats

My flight is at 1:00 PM Tuesday so I should start packing sometime before 9-10 AM tomorrow

Elon Musk and Sam Altman have both received the death penalty. After the verdict was read the judge was quoted to have said "yeah ok, good."

College graduate: all my friends and family are here on this big day but what I'm really looking forward to is seeing some tech person I've never heard of talk about AI. Some Hollywood actor with an inspirational message? No thank you gimme a CEO hocking their shitty wares

Not ideal with tracking showing my package still with Customs and no change since Tuesday. If you're in the Chicago area and would like to commit a federal crime to get my retro handheld and then drive it up to me in Michigan next week I'd really appreciate it

I need to see what Samuel L Jackson looks like now because I've got a theory they tried to do a Face/Off but didn't have the technology for it