@banana-vandal.bsky.social
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📥 1661
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Strange New Englander
Gonna go into a chicken establishment and demand all their legs.
1 day ago
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I have a medical note for work that allows me to be undisturbed for the whole day while I practice my Keagle’s so I can crush the patriarchy
1 day ago
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I used to moonlight as a bouncer at a meat packing plant.
3 days ago
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Did you know Anne Boleyn was in the second season of Chopped?
3 days ago
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reposted by
Jason, ex Inferis
4 days ago
Getting the supreme car wash because I love sour cream
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reposted by
ceej
4 days ago
you don't hear much about wet heaving
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reposted by
Jake_Vig
6 days ago
I want my hour back.
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reposted by
Better Things Are Possible
6 days ago
True independent thinkers don't change their clocks just because everyone else does. I will do my own research and determine what time it is
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reposted by
✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪đť”âś§
6 days ago
trying to eat healthier
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reposted by
harpy
6 days ago
if i was Picard I'd put a really loud exhaust on the Enterprise
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reposted by
sweetie π
7 days ago
i’m not saving daylight this year you guys are on your own
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reposted by
CaroleU
7 days ago
Changed my clocks already because fuck that hour. I don't want it anymore.
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reposted by
Nikki M
8 days ago
Onion rings but it goes to voicemail.
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reposted by
sweetie π
7 days ago
“safety in numbers” i whisper, while filling my purse with donuts
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reposted by
weeder
8 days ago
Letting an account I just followed smell my hand before I riff in their replies
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Hot dogs and rice but it’s a one pot meal and dogs are whole
7 days ago
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reposted by
sweetie π
9 days ago
soon we’ll be receiving spam phone calls from kristi noem telling us our shield of america warranty is about to expire
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reposted by
Laura Bassett
9 days ago
Screaming
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reposted by
los 🦦
13 days ago
a marsh but it’s full of mallows omg
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reposted by
RyMcK
14 days ago
ICE recruits should be the first ones shipped off for “war.”
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reposted by
rae c paige
14 days ago
My favorite part of the work day is getting home and laying around with my tits out for awhile to recover
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reposted by
Laura Jedeed
14 days ago
The world could be such a nice place if we allowed it. It's all so goddamn unnecessary. There's no need for any of it. It's so beautiful here. It should be so cool to be alive
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ceej
14 days ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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reposted by
Jenn đź©·
15 days ago
Sorry can’t, I’m spooning my dog.
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We are all meant for the flies
15 days ago
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reposted by
Cheryl Canning Stan Account
16 days ago
eating mcdonalds for a whole month so it shoots out like FlexSeal
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reposted by
alber
16 days ago
[calling timeout for just a sec] is this circle jerk bipartisan?
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reposted by
WineMummy
16 days ago
Fixing my problems one slice of cheese at a time.
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reposted by
Donkey Hotay đź’©
16 days ago
If you would walk a thousand miles just to be the man who wound up at my door I’m sure as fuck not answering it
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reposted by
Theciscokidder
17 days ago
20's: sheets of acid 50's: sheets of cheese sticks
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The SOTU is an absolute joke
17 days ago
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reposted by
Mueller, She Wrote
20 days ago
New Jersey has proposed the F.U.C.K.I.C.E Act.
www.nytimes.com/2026/02/21/n...
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I smoke to remember
20 days ago
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You just cut off the strange bits and move on with your life
20 days ago
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reposted by
Terre-Strial
20 days ago
“We are watching one of the wildest things a nation-state has ever done," journalist Garrett Graff wrote: "A superpower … suicide because the [Repub] Congress is too cowardly to stand up to the Mad King. This is one of the wildest moments in all of geopolitics ever.”
@hcrichardson.bsky.social
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reposted by
Uncle Duke
21 days ago
I woke up at 3am last night, and still half asleep, had a thought that I JUST HAD TO WRITE DOWN. Pretty sure I’d just won the Internet, I fell back asleep. In the morning, I was greeted with this gem on my phone: “2 ninjas are called a pair of sneakers.” You’re all welcome.
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reposted by
Viktor Winetrout
21 days ago
Told the barista my name is "It's gonna be okay." She keeps saying it. I'm on the floor crying
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reposted by
It's Abby. Yep
21 days ago
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reposted by
LorennaCleary.bsky.social
21 days ago
Y’know I don’t even want a president anymore.
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reposted by
ceej
21 days ago
mine is this one
add a skeleton here at some point
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reposted by
potion of
21 days ago
the purpose of a rube goldberg machine is what it does eventually
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reposted by
DaddyJew
22 days ago
back in my day, beans used to be a lot cooler
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Thine own shart be true
22 days ago
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They called her “lipless Lisa”, which isn’t entirely true; she had 3 out of four. Insane accident. Definitely a the left one, we only know from the lore.
22 days ago
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reposted by
Deeny they/them
23 days ago
Mike's hard sour cream. Now with twice the corn
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I’m back on *my bullshit *tylenol and ibuprofen
23 days ago
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RELINQUISH THE WORLD TO THE WOMEN
23 days ago
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reposted by
Michelle
24 days ago
Most of the sports bras I own are because I couldn’t get them off before leaving the store.
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reposted by
presentdad🙋🏻‍♂️
23 days ago
crabs probably think they’re walking forwards
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