this is gonna make me look so weird eventually

Here you go

one of the most underrated aspects of vampirism is that you don't have to do meal planning anymore

kids all roasting one of the neighborhood dads because he got a grilling apron with "HI HUNGRY I'M DAD" on it they're saying "that meme is so old" and he needs to "up his meme game" shit is brutal he's gonna have to drink another beer or two tonight

there should be someone in the bathroom to show you the ropes if you've never been in one before

hello newskies 👋 since you're new here, check out these bluesky rules we adhere to:

a great yiff army has assembled in the West

Ahuhhhh metal… metal gear

let's speed run discourse by picking a topic and everyone just yells GOOD or BAD at the same time and whichever gets the most posts in a 30 second window wins

Hell yeah now it’s finally starting to feel like twitter

Ratio 👇

paul just texted me, wants to know if everyone is "still mad"

it feels like we're on a plane and the pilot and copilot have died but no one will tell us

It would be an honor to be killed by a big cat

i’ll say it. cemeteries are a bigger waste of space than golf courses.

so when is bluesky going to pay me for my low effort bad posts

The further we get from it the funnier it becomes that Ron DeSantis launched his campaign on Twitter Spaces

imagine seeing Threads, a website where a type of cereal asks you "Tell Me Something You Remember About The Past ????" and there are 80,000 replies to it, and you start sweating, because you bought Twitter and it's worse than that, it's worse than everything

date: I come from a broken home bob the builder: *biting lip* how broken

There was an article about Kiss using backing tapes on stage and I said ‘even the tapes sound like shit’, and tagged Gene 😅

I think minor crimes like letting your dog shit and not cleaning it up should be punished by summary execution but big crimes like murder and stealing cars should be legal

real

People who say piss and moan like it’s a bad thing have never pissed and moaned

i swear to you I'll be that loser

hot girl locked in car

Doing the Venom voice while going down on my wife

i'm being sued by twitter for stealing the trade secret of "posting"

All your favorite influencers are on Threads: Mr Carpool. Bruce Visa. Big Shirtless Ron. The Toad.

just tried it for an hour and yeah this is what threads is like

replying here to #disrupt and #synthesize

Marjorie Taylor Greene was just kicked out of the far right Freedom Caucus for calling Lauren Boebert a bitch

Zuck goes for the Tiger Driver '91 on Elon with no practice and some how paralyzes both of them. 🤼‍♀️

Bluesky had tech bro marketing positivity guru guys like Thread is infested with but they eventually got drowned out and went extinct

👍

No cussing on here guys they banned it

WE WILL RELEASE A NEW TWITTER CLONE EVERY HOUR UNTIL OUR DEMANDS ARE MET

Today isn’t Wednesday; it’s Weird Monday

“Ohhh I see what the problem is. The ribs you were eating were too big” - Fred Flintstone’s mechanic

He's just like me fr

What if we combined rap and rock. That would be epic