the pope has been awake for 32 hours watching this game

what's been going on over here

Late at night in an alley in Brooklyn: Jeffries jumps out saying, "We got you now!" as he fumbles his brass knuckles to the ground "The Baileys send their regards!" says Schumer, feebly waving a child-sized baseball bat

The Sunspot Model Of Middle East Intervention by @onionweigher.hellthread.vet who needs to come back here because Twitter doesn't deserve them...

cringeocracy with mid characteristics

I can’t imagine what metric you’d have to hit to be labeled Nerd in my phone. there are so many of you

looking through my contacts list which is filled with years of garbage and people I dont remember. best entries: Angel Taxi Chair Fabrizio Goose Jim Knife Max French My SHOES Nathan Cold War Nerd Test Results UFO Asian Food Vet Furryland Will Gnostic

this is like a disney adult going to disneyland getting a lecture from goofy about the importance of having a healthy diversity of hobbies

If you are trying to pull the bad damsels at the Ren Faire you don't need chainmail, you don't need a longsword; you need to be focusing on period appropriate footware. No lace holes! No heels! No soles! Toes as pointy as possible. You need to look like you tied a wet envelope to your feet

cutting the stale baguette at multiple oblique angles to minimize visible surface crust while maximizing french-toastability

on that shit that got me feeling insane

hehe

nobody seemed to notice this before the election (which he lost anyway) but this sentence has an extremely specific number of words for a sentence that includes "race" and "the future of" and "western civilization" weird how that keeps happening

The global market is not happy with me!! -- that's okay, I'll still keep exporting that garbage.

the economy rn

at this point I'm 99% sure that they asked "hey @grok how can the US expand its territory without decreasing the percentage of white people?" and it told them to annex Canada and Greenland

I wish to trade with the penguins

hey @grok do perestroika

I've gone metric. They will never find me; I am already hundreds of furlongs away by now

(high school track and field gym teacher voice) some of you need to stop yapping and yearning and start lapping and learning

Food at Mar-a-Lago

Tried to make a serious culinary lasagna. Accidentally made a comical Garfieldian lasagna.

4chan has nukes now

leopards promised, faces eaten

A true @onionweigher.hellthread.vet moment.

turn bagels into pizza this is my snack report in the morning, in the evening don't give a fuck what time I am feeding

Help, weak men are making hard times

I will celebrate the collapse of the AI bubble by splurging on buying one single egg

AI dystopia is like: I Have No Mouth And I Must Shit

carpe yearum baby! all your insane fantasies will come to fruition in 2025

I hope that in the future Woke will be included unironically into the names of newly created nation-states, like “The Woke People’s Republic of California”

(mumbling to self in bathroom) the holy trinity is an absorption of the ancient egyptian triadic group of deities dating back to the early dynastic era consisting of a mother, father, and child, but the female aspect was redacted by incels during the council of nicaea and replaced with a bird

are there group chats here? can I join a group chat

not involved, voted one out of ten

bring back the computress

what the hell does this mean?

this is going to be the smoothest transition of a retail chain to Spirit Halloweens yet

five thousand bazillion grams

@onionweigher.hellthread.vet this guy fr

yes hello I am wondering if they caught him yet and if I can move to his district to elect him to senate

what a deal

same but also the insurance ceo shooter

these are the two primary human emotions and all other emotions exist on a spectrum between them

plantains are like if the soul of a potato was born into a banana’s body

using a hammer to hamm some nails

*casual non-specific screaming*