it says here you “feared for your life”?

Scully let's split up. I'll interview this beautiful botanist and you go check out the sewer system full of human bones

save me, overnight oats, save me

I like to make easy New Year’s resolutions. Stuff like “pet a dog” or “buy cheese”

That first Nazgûl who lost Frodo right outside the Shire fucking choked

erika kirk and JD vance planning the first annual Charlie Kirk Memorial Charity Gala

still my favorite christmas post

Tiny Tim has undergone “The Joining” , becoming one with the hive mind and filling his brain with Christmas Cheer.

Laura Palmer's Theme

The Dunning-Kruger Effect and the Streisand Effect, when merged, become the Bari Weiss Effect

I feel like I'm going to get a lot of use out of this Pluribus screencap

and tiny tim, who was NOT in the epstein files,

it’s a good day when my paychecks bounce for the second time in a row and then i almost burn down the building after attempting to heat up lunch and now everything smells like smoke

not the kind of behavior I expect from the winner of the fifa peace prize

Congrats on Game of the Year to the guy in the Game Awards orchestra who had a dozen different cartoon one-man-band instruments and played each of them masterfully

rowlf best boy

i stand by this statement every year

I think the best way to announce winners of video game awards is to use the annoyed tone of a high school principal giving out a diploma to a student he didn't like

dear santa all i’d like for xmas is for my paychecks to not bounce thank u amen

do mummies walk with their arms straight out because they too suffer from chronic upper back pain

how to tell if a cat is a changeling

I am brimming with holiday spirit

bad news: another portal to hell has opened good news: nothing has gotten noticeably worse

optimistic guy in the town from Uzumaki: well I think our town is BLESSED by spirals

if you enjoy supernatural horror you have to suspend your disbelief about a lot of stuff for vampires, werewolves, etc to make sense, but i draw the line at accepting any of that going down in vancouver. grand conspiracies, secret cabals, magic, sure. but vampires living in vancouver? i'm out

superbly volatile funding climate of nonprofits hehe!!! (luv 2 go from pseudo-corpo c-suite adjacent to minimum wage but it just be like that currently)

small scream for when i pet sit at a very untidy home and just want to organize and clean but have to hit myself in the head to remember that IT IS NOT MY JOB AND IM ALREADY NOT PAID ENOUGH

perpetual question of am i depressed or am i simply cold

if i were in a pluribus type situation i'd be calling the hive mind and telling it to seed my torrents

Methodology

math textbook covers for some reason:

Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.

Congress SHOULD be voting to reopen PARTY CITY and JOANN FABRICS and not the GOVERNMENT

yup just me and nineteen dogs in the daycare currently collectively losing our minds to the abomination that is leaf blowing

love to be commuting and have my mind blissfully empty for forty minutes only to be interrupted by a sudden wave of crippling depression

happy n7 day! husband called me while i left for work at 5am and i was very confused why i was hearing the galaxy map theme through the car bluetooth. (almost always have it on silent and forgot i'd set my ringtone to that forever ago)

genuinely beautiful that new york elected a muslim lefty mayor the same day that dick cheney died

Me reading this:

I think they should both keep playing like when you win mario kart and they keep driving.

Play Final Fantasy Tactics. Give Guns to your White Mages.

that first whiff of burning firewood on a foggy and cold fall day…i could cry

the muppets are enduring cast of characters because each of them represents the duality of man kermit is nervous but charming fozzie is confident but untalented gonzo is deranged but dignified miss piggie is rude but elegant sam eagle is socially liberal but fiscally conservative

this is what will happen if mamdani makes bus rides free

“Wake up! I can see the bottom of my food bowl”