All I’ve been able to do since I got my hands on a Squier VI is play Portishead

Anything doctors like that I don't like is Allopathic "Medicine" 😡 Anything I like that Doctor's don't like is Wellness 😊💫

Sick as a dog this week and this is the only thought in my head

FBI AGENT: Computer, tell me about the Sandwich Shop Strangler. FBI AI: The Sandwich Shop Strangler? Wow, what a great place to start. It’s obvious you’re not just a profiler — you’re a pro. FBI AGENT: Thank you. FBI BOSS: I told you to stop thanking it!! It costs $228 every time you thank it!!

FBI Agent: Computer, tell me about the killer they call “The Neck Stabber.” FBI AI: “The Neck Stabber” is a serial killer active in Atlantis, GA, named after former MLB star Mark “Neck Stabber” McGwire. FBI AGENT: My god. Computer… is Mark McGwire our killer? FBI AI: No one has ever been killed

Razzle’s Rules for Living: 1.) Everything is a scam until you see compelling evidence to the contrary 2.) The evidence is also a scam

“F Murray Abraham”? Uh, how about we “Respect Murray Abraham” for a change?

Any time not spent shopping will be deducted from your Consumer Score

In Elden Ring, Godwyn the Golden was the presumed successor to the throne prior to his untimely death. However, the way his shocking assassination was carried out led to manifestations of his warped, ghastly face appearing throughout the land, and no one knows how to stop it

My name is Ariel Stunts

Describing the events of a Mr. Bean episode in Death Grips cadence

Truck driver united state

Con sarn it. Have it sarned by Con

My friend said I’m not allowed to take any more pictures of his cat if they’re all gonna be this unflattering

Feels like 75% of mainstream culture has the same effect on the human brain as standing next to a chunk of radioactive graphite. Feels like nobody can envision with any concrete detail any future at all, let alone one worth living to see - least of all anyone in power. But it's the weekend baybee!!!

All around the world, people are discovering the joy of Breakfast

Whoever said that shit about "cellar door" must of never said "Get Fucked"

Things should try getting better before they get worse

apples 2: oranges

Up 2: No Good

FUCK I actually have something that can compete with this but i can’t find it in my photos. Watch this space

👀👄👁️

“Life is what happens in between trips to the bathroom” Einstien Wisdom Quotes

This looks completely insane. I wish I could pry it loose and hang it up in my home

Saw this badass single mom today

The early success of the Addams Family is attributable to the fact that, prior to the 1930s, most americans had never encountered anything fucked up or weird

Some of you guys don’t even know that the red-eyed coyote will appear in the zona norte at the far end of town

Smokers btfo

Pronouncing “precipice” like it rhymes with “Bocephus”

Tonight’s win is thanks to me btw let’s go Knicks baby love da Knicks

I graduated last in my class from the Albert Pecunious Reformatory School for the Artistically Deranged

Just got free soft serve from a place we were prepared to pay for bc when the guy behind the counter asked if we were Knicks fans we said hell yeah. You know? Maybe I am a Knicks fan now off the back of that. Maybe go Knicks

Walked past a bunch of six or seven-year-olds waiting in line outside a building on a school trip today. One of them was so bored she was playing rock paper scissors against herself and when both hands came up scissors she went 🤨

Overheard a couple (?) arguing in the street as i passed by. All I caught was her angrily asking him “Is that a real kink or just something from the movies? That’s ALL I want to know.”

If there’s one thing I love more than hitting the ground, it’s running

On the train and one old lady is telling another old lady how to spot an ai video. The Olds Are Alright

The Leftist Golfer

Dare you proceed, traveler…?

Gundam my head, I’d say no

2-1 isn’t quite 3-0 but i absolutely thrashed someone who has only ever destroyed me in the past SO we take it

New game: Search Crab Man’s feed for a word and fav every post that turns up. Repeat until crab man feels sort of uncomfortable

Pixels: The Gamer’s Friend

Opting out rules. I opt out of basically everything I can get my hands off

I will not hear a word against hating AI on principle. I don't give a fuck what use case people dream up for it. So much of it is so unspeakably poisonous both spiritually and literally that there can be no benefit of doubt extended to any of it until it's completely started over from scratch.

Sometimes you'll be talking to an engineer and they'll tell you this is the only music they listen to

One time as a kid i told my friend i saw a pokemon in real life and he believed me and i was so put off by how easy it was to fool him that i stopped hanging out with him. It wasn’t even pikachu. I told him i saw a fucking Onix