Babe have you seen my carkies?

Saw a crow absolutely stuffing its face with peanut m&ms today

The beautiful thing is going happen soon. No basis for this, I can just feel it

I understand nearly none of you care about these but I’m having a lot of fun with em. Every time I think I might be getting sick of it I just do another one and it’s fun again

Drawing my own mtg proxies until WotC threatens me with legal action, Day 281

You know what hell yeah. Gimme that Statue of Liberty shit. We’re all in this together, life is meaningful, and just because horrible people act invincible it doesn’t mean they are. We can pull through. We’re going to pull through

Tonight we are ALL honorary New Yorkers. I can make that call in my capacity as an honorary New Yorker

I was at a football game and at one point all the cheerleaders started going “Be aggressive. B-E aggressive.” I was like, thank you, but that was not the word I’m having trouble spelling.

Drawing my own mtg proxies until WotC threatens me with legal action, Day 280

My unifying theory of American politics is that we live in GTA

Can YOU spot 👀 the Hidden lake 💧 ? 99% of Adults 45 & Over will Fail !? 🤯

Drawing my own magic card proxies until WotC threatens me with legal action, Day 278

Met the new neighbors today

Ok since you asked here’s another

Ah what the heck have one more it’s a holiday

Drawing more mtg stuff bc nobody’s stopped me

Ken By God Tucky

I have to go. I’ve received the Pep Signal

DID YOU KNOW? Labubus were first discovered in 1538 by Belgian explorer Gustave LeBouboux

Call this number if you or a loved one has been exposed to mental health

We all got the one bro with hoof and mouth disease

i've said it before and i'm saying it now: the only option is Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult

dont listen to this. aah ohh it physically wounds me when you listen to this!!

Surrendering to my inner @macnult.com (eating more crab snacks in one sitting than a doctor would encourage me to)

Duddleigh is a beautiful name for a baby girl

Burns Bintliff is a beautiful name for a son in law

Goomba is a beautiful name for a stompable creep

Bustopher Jones would be a beautiful name for a Riff Raff style party rapper

Computer, engage Nice Graphics Mode

Love those jokes make chuckle.

Can we please raise the necessary funds to get Jonathan Pryce a better Wikipedia photo

Canceled spotify without really thinking about I'd replace it with. Maybe that service (the song you want on demand forever) isn't something that needs to exist anyway

Do you think flies have horror movie franchises about stuff like this

Nice metropolis. Let me guess. Bustling?

BARTENDER: This is your ID? ME: Yes sir. BARTENDER: It’s real? ME: All the way. BARTENDER: So if I scratch the scratch-and-sniff portrait, it’s gonna smell like you? ME (sweating): Uh. I uh. Uh-huh.

The part from around 2:45-3:15 is the best 30 seconds of music released this year I’m calling it now

Yall hear about solids?

All right, here's one more

posted/deleted this once. here it is again but better

WOW

posted/deleted this once. here it is again but better

"When we were kids we (drank from the hose / didn't wear seatbelts / went online unsupervised) and we turned out all right" bro nobody turned out all right. Look at this place

Went for a walk & experienced these WalkVisions™️ #WalkVisions™️

U rockin with toilet?

one day in fourth grade this kid Justin stole the teacher's spare chair, a cube-framed thing with a dark blue cloth seat, and was goofing off on it, rocking it back and forth, etc. teacher told him to stop, and of course he didn't. then the seat gave way and he got stuck like this for like 2 minutes

When I was like 7 I saw a promo on Wheel of Fortune of a Hawaiian vacation the contestants stood to win, and seeing clips of Hawaiian people have to perform Hawaiian culture for tourists made me feel so weird and wrong that I decided in that moment I should never go there

Sometimes I feel my job in life is to collect all the weird shit people tell me for safekeeping. Like this morning my neighbor said he’d just been at the gym and saw a guy make a PB&J in the locker room with the bread sitting straight on the bench