Trying to think of the funniest tiktok asterisk to put in a word. Unfortunately it might be "covf*fe"

This guy got beaten by a bunch of masked thugs whose salaries are paid by our taxes simply for being Mexican. Help him out.

It’s a great day to be a sleepy little guy

My doctor likes my style. He said I have tubular clothes

Your Honor, all I did was what Intuit’s AI Taxperts™ told me to do

“Money or no money, I will never turn away someone in need without a dose of my patented Cure-It Oil!” —The Scrupulous Huckster

I was actually just saying how I’m sick of spending $35 every time i go to the store for Fugees Ready Or Not

Saw Send Help. Unfortunately it was not at all a surprise to learn afterward that the screenwriting duo at fault were also responsible for Freddy Vs. Jason and the 2017 Baywatch movie

trying to figure out the song with the biggest swing in quality between verse and chorus current frontrunner is Lay Your Hands On Me by Peter Gabriel, whose verses include clunkers like "fat men play with their garden hoses" and whose chorus will make you feel like you can actually fly

Alt text is so important

Saw the beginnings of a Scandinavian murder mystery outside. It’s ok though. It’s just chips the whole time

15+ years later this album still kicks ass. phantom band pls come back

My favorite people online are the cretins who see a quote from like The Dark Knight and take the time to comment “I heard your comment in batmans voice !!”

ripping the LaserDisc for Beastmaster II and it contains one of my favorite bits of distracting dubbing in history

She’s practicing for this

I hopen’t so

I’m out of jokes man. I don’t know

ReminderBot, remind me on 11/11/2026 to post “Happy Zatarain’s Day”

Had a dream i was trapped in a strip club called International House of Shakin Ass

It’s like that sometimes

Just saw a post so bad i signed a DNR

Don’t worry everybody

Upgraded the gigging board with a pedal i now understand the hype about (like a decade late)

the temporal front of the culture war

My Other Ride Is The Armadillo Tank From The Tarkus Album Cover

Organizing a thread of comments i have found that delight me. Item #1:

Antonio Documenti

Immodium Fridays with Tony Dookiepill

How Permanente Was My Kaiser

You guys want to know about me. You crave minute details

My most used app is Clock

What would be your personal Eternal Hell Funko Transformation? Which one would bring your soul the most anguish to be trapped inside?

One definition of a human being is a social animal with a face

Don’t worry everybody

Leftists are sneaking onto God-fearing elevators to install Hemp Button

Stranger at a party and I were complaining to each other about ai/chatbots when some lady interrupted to say “they’re not all bad! i use grok!” and she was shocked when we were both like “that is hands down the worst one”

Artists back in the day were so talented. This guy didn’t even live to 2 years old and look what he created

Some of yall better

Mil ton Berle He sure was someone in the show biz world I can’t remember what he’s fa mous fO-or I don’t think he’s in movies a ny more

Who up typing subversive opinions into their surveillance brick 👀

Green Room “they’re killing us” scene with Amy Klobuchar standing in the far corner saying “AND eggs are still $7.00!”

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We are the Bears Sufferin’ Crew Sufferin’ on down / Doin’ it for you!

Ooh, baby, do you know where it’s at? Ooh,

My name is Bright Blueman

My name is Wayne Merman

My name is Larry Sweatbrick