Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

feeling this again today

Bopping Merrick Garland's nose with all these headlines about former presidents getting prison time.

WOW. The lead plaintiff is a Latino man who's been here legally for 24 years. He was grabbed off the street by plainclothes federal agents who didn't even ASK about his status. He was detained overnight and only released once a supervisor realized he had been illegally arrested.

I JUST HAND FED A CROW A MONSTER MUNCH!!

Multiple people have been shot at the Dallas ICE field office, ABC reports

don’t talk to me when i’m in dark mode

And I’ve stopped 7 wars. I’m very good at that. But don’t eat the pastrami. It’s very fatty. I think the UN does a very bad job. One time I threw a football 800 yards. I wasn’t even trying. The UN does a terrific job. Do you know the song Itsy Bitsy Spider? I wrote it. I’ve met Jesus. Beetlejuice!

Kind of surreal that a government official was caught taking a $50,000 cash bribe and there's not even a question that he will continue serving as it nothing ever happened. Like even the most basic standards of public accountability are a joke.

No sugar tonight in my coffee. No sugar tonight in my tea. No sugar whatsoever. My doctor said to cut back on sugar.

The thing about the first time the FBI catches you on camera receiving a $50,000 bribe is it's definitely not the first time you've received a $50,000 bribe.

The bay leaf is the tequila worm of cooked foods

Accidentally searched government shitdown

*mournfully shooting off a tshirt cannon into the sadly cheering funeral crowd*

“Trix are so dangerous we won’t even give them to rabbits!”

There’s no hiding the political retaliation and weaponization. It’s all out in the open.

There is no world in which it is normal for the president to publicly call upon his attorney general to hurry up and prosecute his political foes. It’s like the Watergate tapes but posted on social media. Let’s get a grip on what’s happening here.

AOC: We should be clear about who Charlie Kirk was. A man who believed that the civil rights act that granted black Americans the right to vote was a mistake… His rhetoric and beliefs were ignorant, uneducated, and sought to disenfranchise millions of Americans.

You know how badly you have to fuck up to get normal people to know the name of the head of the FCC?

So I just got a $20 bill for a $60 item I bought off etsy from Fedex that says its for customs duty. I've already received the item. I've never gotten something like this before - is this from the new tariff stuff? What happens if you don't pay it?

That’s me in the video. And a Fox News host just celebrated me being assaulted by ICE. If ICE will do this to a congressional candidate with a big platform, just imagine what they’re doing to the people they’re kidnapping.

What’s more astonishing: 1) that the president clearly believes, and repeatedly suggests, that asylum seekers are people from mental asylums, or 2) that no journalist has ever challenged him on this and no mainstream media outlets have done any deep dives on this story?

and again, king shit from Jon Stewart

A man caged by ICE was found dead in his cell inside a Long Island jail 18 hours after arriving there.

Revisiting this piece I wrote in April 2025. "State Terror: A brief guide for Americans" snyder.substack.com/p/state-terror

You Can't Say That on Television: Authoritarian Edition

moments ago, ice agents again came out of the broadview detention/“professing” facility to escort a silver suv out of the lot. one of the agents picked up and threw congressional candidate kat abughazaleh to the ground.

Donate to my campaign to make Laura Loomer’s day worse: secure.actblue.com/donate/abu-bluesky

I'm here to remind you that there are a lot of wonderful things outside. What if you went on a quest to find out what makes them happy? I'm on drugs.

I get my contact lenses from Walgreens and in July they were $35 a box but today they are $57 a box are we tired of winning yet

Democratic New York lawmakers — as well as City Comptroller Brad Lander — were arrested by Department of Homeland Security (DHS) officers Thursday after demanding access to an alleged detention facility run by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) at 26 Federal Plaza.

Overcrowded cells. Unsanitary conditions. Limited access to food and water. These are the conditions that ICE has created at 26 Federal Plaza, which eleven elected officials sought to expose. Instead, they were arrested. They must be released right now — and inspectors let in.

Imagine your embarrassment when the rapture happens and the ass you’re eating shoots up into the sky to meet The Lord

I would love to be part of the conversation on MSNBC related to the Kimmel story and it's chilling effects on first amendment, but unfortunately I was terminated by MSNBC for stating that "hateful thoughts lead to hateful words which lead to hateful actions".

Groceries too high. I gotta cut back on Kerry Gold Irish butter and switch back to Land O' Lakes. Maybe even Uncle Willy's Sho Nuff Margarine

Oh I get it, they mean don’t tread on *me*

does anybody else feel like they are watching a mass psychosis

i am once again asking if you know that if you routinely sing to a cat while they're curled up on your chest they will learn that singing means cuddle time and come trotting over from wherever they are when you do. it's important that we get this message out to those who need it most

I’m watching Armageddon. And I don’t mean the movie.

It's illegal to say you wouldn't want to suck Robert Redford's dick. People are getting fired for saying they wouldn't suck his dick, it's a nightmare out here. There's a doxxing site collecting info on over 100,000 people who said they wouldn't want to suck his dick. Be careful out there.

congrats to your grandma in heaven on finally being able to fulfill her fantasy of being eiffel towered by paul newman and robert redford

Tim Walz: "I'll tell you what doesn't make people feel safe -- a tank next to Chipotle. It's stupid and it's for the cameras ... where are the 'don't tread on me' people?"

so hey, with the entirety of the FBI in a fevered state to find any shred of evidence that THE TRANSES and THE FURRIES caused a political assassination, keep in mind that discord isn't private its backend is available to people that hate you, your servers aren't private, your DMs aren't private

Due to Texas redistricting, my District now sends four tributes to The Hunger Games

Far as I can tell, Robert Redford was: * successful at everything he tried * genuinely intelligent & insightful * desired by women * envied by men * an absolute mensch to everyone he dealt with * a tireless, lifelong philanthropist ... and he died peacefully in his sleep. 10/10 life. No notes.

every headline today: "Man Who Could Absolutely Get It Dies at 89"

if i see any post expressing less than debilitating thirst for robert redford i am calling your boss