No Kings includes Draft Kings

[Wesley Willis voice]

🗣️MORE. 🗣️WOMEN. 🗣️PEDOPHILES.

photo from a friend at a lego convention right now, amazing 🌭

Me, for any reason whatsoever:

I know a plate of late-spring salad with chopped acorns, hazelnuts, and wild celery and a maple wafer spread with soft white cheese hate to see the young molemaid comin

The only good Samaritan is a dead Samaritan

i think we all need to step back and realize that peak art was made when neolithic pot in the shape of a pig was fired

You can’t name your kids after ba’al anymore because of woke

over the next 3 years, be ready for seeing a lot of coverage of Republican lawmakers, business leaders, university leaders who did absolutely nothing to stall Trump (on the contrary) — about how *actually* they were wringing their hands all along. www.nytimes.com/2026/02/05/u...

Westboro Baptist Church tried to make an Anti-Luigi Mangione poster but it just looks like Luigi is threatening billionaires and goes unironically hard af

(Axl Rose voice) Welcome to your groceries, they cost a thousand bucks

But they had it exactly backwards. The caring is the cosmos, doing one of the things it apparently does.

building a huge vault in svalbard to archive the semen of unfuckable men for all eternity

recently tried to explain how people hold grudges to a neurodivergent friend and what i landed on was "it's like the thrill of cancelling plans but for confrontation"

stephen miller told me woke 2 keeps eating his prosecutors so I asked how many prosecutors he has and he said he just goes to twitter and begs people to apply to become federal prosecutors so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding prosectors to woke 2 and then kristi noem started crying

Content Corpse United States, Census, 1880

in the nato alphabet her name is charli xray charlie xray

The release of the Epstein Files really lays bare the evils of (among other things) networking.

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

Somehow Epstein Returned

Me, trying to refer to The Beastie Boys’ Fight For Your Right after my third duolingo lesson:

The funny thing about a certain type of angry conspiracy guy is that they’re literally being confronted with an elite paedophile ring and a tyrannical government at the same time right now, and because it isn't being done by the people they wanted it to be done by they’re all being pussies about it

When you think of it, history is suboptimal and harmful bullshit which never should have been invented and any proper transcendentalist movement should seek to abolish it.

(getting out of the Time Machine back in the present) hey did you guys know that hitler didn’t have that mustache when he was little? Anyway long story short I ended up killing some more babies than we planned

groimes, oim een theh eepsteen foiles

You can test new tech ideas using the Seinfeld Test Would the product eliminate the plot of an episode? (Google maps, cell phones, paypal, battery packs) Good tech. Would the product inspire new Seinfeld plots? (NFTs, AI chatbots, crypto currency, blindboxes, metaverse land sales) Bad tech.

Nancy Rubins-ass lego

Cowafungus!

hr giger was a -hack- who lacked an imaginative vision

Missouri Crotch United States, Census, 1910 #Lotrimin

The falcon is putting a sticker of Calvin pissing on the falconer on his back feathers

Give me some of that neurotypical ice cream

“ai is such a huge time saver” says man who doesn’t actually do anything

I've said it all my life: Librarians--Hot. As. Fuck.

edging the apocalypse for 79 years

I believe insane Nazi pedophile Donald Trump is capable of changing his mind for the better. And yep - I’m a journalist!

I’ve always tried my best to do what’s right for America, that’s why I’m tear-gassing this day care center

It’s 5 o’clock on the doomsday clock somewhere

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, tell me you wouldn’t like to see this man crawling on all fours

we are all bitches on gods podcast

Before you speak, I want you to understand that "ICE" now has the same emotional connotation as "pedophile" to at least half the country. Would you propose more training for pedophiles? Would you propose that pedophiles wearing body cams is "part of a solution?"

Trump should go under a napkin and eat bovino like an ortolan