Newsies but it's Nuzzis and uh you don't actually want to know what Christian Bale does in it

It's important to remember that virtually every Dem-aligned org has been captured by Clinton psychos for decades, so this is just muscle memory for them

weeooo weeooo bad opinion alert

I call him "Donald Mumps" cause we need a vaccine for this frickin guy

Well baby I hear the roadkill calling Crushed torsos and scrambled horns (Quite stylish) And maybe I seem a bit confused Well, baby, it's not a worm (ha ha ha ha) But I don't know what to do with those crushed torsos and scrambled horns

Me talking to my cat: I love you mister boy mwah mwah mwah Me talking to other people about my cat: I call him Doctor Shithead because he's such an asshole

People like to split hairs about how it's "not real fascism" because they, themselves, support fascistic policy and either can't or don't want to face their role in building state capacity for a fascist takeover.

Me talking to my cat: I love you mister boy mwah mwah mwah Me talking to other people about my cat: I call him Doctor Shithead because he's such an asshole

Lmao absolutely insane thing to say

Hey remember when Tom Nichols supported the illegal invasion of Iraq? The guy who's tongue-out-horny for American empire doesn't get to define when disappearing people and overriding the rule of law becomes fascism.

I will go one step further and say that any pat explanation for the behavior of broad swaths of the electorate is either the work of an idiot or someone trying to sell you something you almost certainly don't want

It is so cool being a dude and not having a bunch of creepy email threads with my name on them floating out there in the ether

"I don't want toxic masculinity, I want the regular good kind of masculinity" lol, lmao

The people in our news media don't view a career in journalism as a kind of responsibility, but as opting into a grand discourse between themselves and other journos, pols, and officials. It's a public conversation that is nonetheless private. If you have an opinion about that, they don't care.

Uncut Gems is set in the same universe as the Crank films

Misunderstanding the purpose of education is, quite literally, a libertarian issue. Perhaps THE libertarian issue.

Not to get all Sun Tzu on it, but when the enemy is weak and divided amongst itself, you do not relieve the enemy by allowing their partisans into your camp. You drive them closer together, force them into tighter company, and intensify their conflict.

My most woke opinion is that there's no win condition for the universe, nothing matters because we're all going out long before the universe experiences heat death, and so the only thing that matters is taking care of each other so we can live free of fear and humiliation

I don't particularly care about the "death threat" discourse but good lord this guy is such a fucking creep

*at the opera* all they're doing is modulating their voices to complement the music, they don't even write their own verses

We should bring back trumpet solos

republicans believe poor people deserve to suffer because they're lazy and weak, whereas the democrats have a much lengthier explanation

PUSHA T: Patent leather Bapes /Closet like Planet of the Bapes ME: (still trying to figure out what Bapes are through context clues) that's so much bapes

Good Lord this sucks so much. Tip to tail.

Gonna take a little bluesky break - seven apes have wrung my neck. I would love to keep posting but every time I open the app I am strangled by over half a dozen wild eyed apes. They broke my neck back and forth with their powerful small hairy hands.

I contain multidudes.

I want to clarify my earlier statements about Sen. John Fetterman and his tragic fall and injury. I wasn't saying it would be FUNNY if he fell because us normal people tied up his legs with ropes that, to him, looked like mere strands of string. I simply believed this to be what actually happened.

they’re saying on the news goku is sick. they’re saying he ate a box of sunmaid raisins and they’re poison for him like for dogs. the camera cut to the weatherman for the forecast and he can’t keep it together. everyone in this town loves goku

Literally everything the New York Times does is at the behest of powerful people and it's not a conspiracy to say that editorial decisions are informed by that fact

A non-ironic welcome to everyone who is now discovering that America is a psychosexual nightmare powered by the blood of innocents

Lmao this rocks

[class solidarity intensifies]

There should be some kind of competency hearing before you're allowed to have Chris's job. Or maybe there is and they score it the other way.

"this is the challenger disaster of media ethics" "I am shocked that people in power have no sense of duty" Am I the only one who remembers the 2000s or

The people who are posting stuff like "actually, I don't care WHO is implicated - I don't want pedophiles in government!" are so brave, thank you for your service

People are focusing too much on "NYT reporter was compromised by his financial relationship with Epstein" and not enough on "oh yeah and he did it for a measly $30k"

I think it would be fun if Trump started pretending he doesn't speak English every time someone asks about Epstein

As long as we're just saying things: the Pod Save America guys are all on the flight logs

There's a conversation to be had about the benefits of the carrot versus the stick, but bringing it up in reference to The Great White Shrek is so so so so funny

Score another point for my "the intellectual world runs on total dipshits gassing each other up" theory

"Why didn't Joe Biden release any of these emails????" lol, lmao

It's best to think of the past 25 years as an elaborate proof of The Aristocrats joke

Incredible conversations are happening on Bluesky, the Nothing App

It's cope time, baby

Reminded of when Hillary Clinton said "Madame Secretary" and "House of Cards" to a question about what she likes to watch. Anyway, the Pope's favorite movie is Spotlight.

Chris Cuomo is trying to make this atrocious little mustache happen even though it looks like he drew it on with a ballpoint pen

M: Congrats on becoming the new 007, James BOND: "James." I'll have to get used to that. M: Yes, well, it's important to His Majesty that we maintain consistency in every aspect. How about a drink to celebrate? BOND: Yes, mum. I'll have a Sex on the Beach. M: *raising her gun* Oh, James

they are able to peel back the ACA because its a shitty half measure but if we had gotten real universal healthcare instead no one would dare touch it because literally everybody on all sides would flip out. one more reason why Democratic incrementalism and "pragmatism" is fucking stupid !!!!!