behold, the platonic ideal of social media

someone is enjoying his first inside christmas

“I miss blockbuster video” the library has every dvd totally untouched and I never see you there

“I’m not wasting my energy on you,” I type frantically. Exasperated. I hit send and begin to sob, loudly, locked safely in this bathroom stall. I try to stand up but my legs grow weak, my stomach rumbles, I fall back onto the toilet seat and unleash another wave of diarrhea. Damn gas station burrito

"I'm a socialist, but I'll never be a communist" so you've identified the problem, but you only want to solve it if it doesn't require changing things interesting

PREACH, BROTHER UKEJAY TESTIFY

What do you think you're doing here, babe? You have fifty followers, nobody is going to see this. You're crashing out.

@ranfim.bsky.social Disabling replies and reskeets on a quote dunk is the pinnacle of cowardice, and actually IS a MAGA-like behavior. Your ideas can't stand up to criticism, so you have to prevent people from responding. I'm not a communist sympathizer; it's not 1952. I'm a communist.

The greatest technological advance of this century is the little plastic handle on top of car batteries that makes it way easier to lift them out of your car when you need to recharge or replace them.

It's been like twenty or thirty years.

"and what we're saying—we're saying it, folks, this is really real—communists are too educated. These people, these people reading books—they say, "it's books for my family"—they become communists because they read and know too many things. Some people are saying the most things. Yuge."

Kamala did not magically lose. She campaigned with Liz Cheney. 🤡

If you're currently working out, keep going. Imagine how great you’re going to look this time next year.

Tesla sales in November were the lowest since January 2022. "What’s also happening is Standard sales are cannibalizing into sales of Premium versions, especially the Model 3." insideevs.com/news/781632/...

“tankies are liberals” is a new one which is wild because the entire use of that term is trying to reduce it to meaningless absurdity fascists are Quakers actually green is a shape the number four is a fractal

Social media was a mistake and now we're stuck with a dumbass president and every person who uses it suffering from some type of mental health condition.

I can’t wait to see her with hooks through her heels.

I can’t wait til they help vote Trump out.

what the constitution actually meant was freedom of CORRECT speech obviously

"Meet me in the middle," says the reasonable man. You step forward, he steps back. "Meet me in the middle," says the reasonable man.

pastrami fries, bitch

furiously writing a book report six minutes before it’s due without having read the book

The compromise between fascism and anything else is fascism, because the core tenet of fascism is never compromising.

me to my clients for the next month basically:

I have long posited that Daniel Craig's accent in Glass Onion is better than Knives Out because in Knives Out he is trying to do a real Southern accent and is bad at it but in Glass Onion he is just talking like Foghorn Leghorn, which is something a real gay Southern weirdo would do.

Watch: Canadians and Americans on a social media ban for everyone under 16

This is how Venezuela's "Cartel of the Suns" was born The CIA created it to traffic drugs into the US, and it has never existed since This is the entire basis of Trump's "narco-terror" designation

be a cactus: stand tall, be strong, and do harm to anyone who tries to touch you without your consent

At what point did being completely wrong start counting as an “opinion”? Claiming vaccines cause autism isn’t an opinion. It’s utter bullshit. And then they say, “Well, that’s my opinion, you have to respect it.” No. I don’t have to respect stupidity. Fuck off.

Mashallah

Thank you. This is exactly what I have been saying. Its why my family has now fled this country. Y'all don't get it and you really need to wise up fast.

If you started siding with the right and being wary of the left because some leftists were cunts to you on social media you were never particularly left-wing to start with. I've had mad leftists and woke scolds say insane stuff about me and to me and it never made me hate centrists any less, bitch.

if only there were any precedent for this

I love to be a person living within a short drive's distance of the capital of the freest country on earth and have to constantly carry around my papers to reduce but not eliminate the risk of getting disappeared off the street.

Birthright and end times propaganda get wired in hard.

So Al green is forcing a vote in the House on “Abuse of Presidential Power by Calling for the Execution of Members of Congress” And apparently no one noticed??

All of us are Harbo right now

In many ways "I support a two-state solution" was just the de facto thought terminating cliche of the bipartisan consensus for the last thirty or so years. Its purpose was to stifle more substantive and direct conversation about the myriad ways in which USG policy impacts the conflict.

democracy dies in *absolutely massive floppy wet fart noise*

dudes who have never consensually touched a titty without money changing hands got real strong feelings about how women are trying to trap them

Bro you are B R O A D C A S T I N G to any woman who can read this to never, ever fuck you. Have you tried treating them like equals? Have you tried being likable? Have you tried acting like sex is not something you are owed, and their duty isn’t to provide it? Cause I’ve never had your problems.

literally their goal they want to own every last brick so that workers rent, forever, and their kids rent forever and their kids rent forever and their kids rent forever and their kids rent forever and their kids rent forever and their kids rent forever and their kids rent forever and their kids—

Dems have also sold out to big corporations. Capitalism is not partisan; the dividing line is wealth, not political leaning.

Nobody fuckin asked.

Everyone needs to stop traveling to the US.

It’s because Christianity is a death cult and American Christians can’t bear the thought of being left out of Armageddon, which is supposed to happen there. It’s literally that.

#OtD 10 Dec 2006 former Chilean dictator, Augusto Pinochet, died. His regime, supported enthusiastically by the UK and US, saw thousands of radicals, trade unionists and others rounded up and executed, with tens of thousands more jailed and tortured stories.workingclasshistory.com/article/8182...

It’s just science.