it's time we returned to the old ways of drawing speech bubbles creeping directly out of a speaker's lips

Earth is Goddess, Sun is God the Father, everything else is games their children are playing in the mud

the most inspirational people you've ever heard of are the ones who respect personal boundaries while violating those of authority and institution

It's 2050 and for over 20 years our entertainment has been almost exclusively televised trials and livestreams of prison cells for the Trump administration.

"Yeah but I didn't vote for what they did last time," he said to himself while voting, once again, for the exact same people.

Moby Dick was a reference to Mocha Dick which means Chocolate Coffee Cock which is how Herman Melville got me kicked out of both a library and a starbucks

How to be clear Step 1: start your sentence with the thing you want to say instead of "Let's be clear..."

It's 2050 and white Americans are building a time machine to go back and deport their immigrant ancestors

“consider a spherical cow” style theorizing applied to morals and legislating is killing us

the solution to the mafia, obviously, is to remove one or two mobsters from the organization and let the remaining members nominate new mobsters to the vacant positions

searching roberts rules for the parliamentary procedure for overthrowing a single party dictatorship

A changed adult mind is a very rare thing. Suzuki talks of beginner mind for a reason. Christ talks of being born again for a reason.

pro-tip: you can avoid the hard work of identifying and fighting for your own values by just pointing out others' hypocrisy. there's always plenty of it, and decrying it makes you look principled without actually standing for anything

the revolution will not be ai telling lies

“Use pinpad to complete transaction.” —dream diary of the grocery store employee who has to watch the self checkout, pgs 2,3,4,6,7,8,11,12,13,14,16,17,18

Kids with guns. Kids with guns. Taking over. It won't be long. Easy does it easy does it, they've got something to say no to. Now they're turning us into monsters. Turning us into fire. —Gorillaz

You cannot understand the terms. But you are bound by them by threat of force. You may hire an attorney to explain the terms to you. But those simpler terms aren't the terms. You cannot understand the terms. But you are bound by them.

The police investigating ice? lol

Applying downtown for a monarchist tarring/feathering permit after my request to throw corporate imports into the harbor was denied.

It's 2050 and US history classes now teach children that the leadup to the US revolutionary war consisted entirely of peaceful legal parade protests

May your enemies forever schlep and never sit, and forever step in every shit.

I just think that every human being should be making or reveling in art idk

Already lookin forward to that Aprill with the shoures soote

A message for you all to carry through the year

i apparently already forgot it cause i have no idea what old lame sign they're singing about

"But ORANGE you glad he made pre-ORANGEments?" My joke did nothing to stop the family's sobbing, and the police told me I couldn't have any of the fruit because it would disturb the crime scene

in the supply closet at the emergency room the MDs are snorting crushed up adderall and calling it a doctor pepper

We are but figments of your dream and when you wake up you're gonna be ashamed to have thought up all this awful shit

And Frodo Baggins, who did NOT die,

imagine the money we could save on clothing if we just accepted one another‘s nudity

the important thing is that day by day we each grow a little more paranoid that someone is watching everything we do

imagine all the good we could accomplish if we built a device that issued a steady flood of opinionated scolding about every possible minor misdeed except the ones committed by the scolders

Last Christmas: George Michael donates his heart This Christmas: George Michael gives another heart, this time to someone special Christmas, 2084: Machines pick through fields of George Michael clones that stretch to the horizon, harvesting their annually regenerating organs

The only rational belief is an indubitable one. The only indubitable belief is one's own existence. Therefore the only fully rational belief is in one’s own existence. Solipsism syllogism

cheer up, at least you ended up in a simulation that shows you examples of other worse simulations. you could've ended up in a ground hog day one or a video game character like the sims

Oh the weather outside is frightful and the fire is also frightful and it seems we've no place to go ohh no ohh no ohh no

Peephole people peeping pee-peeing

That's just gas, little drummer boy.

🧍‍♂️I’m sorry but I cant enjoy this day anymore I have to go to work. 🦜No you don’t. Think about this for a minute. I never go to work. 🌻Yeah! Matt 6

it’s actually ok for someone to be dead wrong about a topic you think is important

actor famous for playing idiot on sitcom fifteen years ago says your city is also one of his hometowns and the best restaurants there are the bottom floors of hotels and a tourist trap hotdog place

and here is a photograph of our restaurant's founder being awarded the industry's highest honor by a grinning giant marshmallowy tire-man costume, the icon of luxury

a man with a gun is the first thing i see every time i go to the grocery store 🇺🇸🦅

AI provides, as no previous words or example before it could, an illustration by contrast of the implicit value of humanity and human creation. The most inexpert human art you've ever experienced provides a depth that the most aesthetically pleasing AI generation can not even approximate.

The card reads "Happy Christmas." The "From" name is marked out and "George Michael" is written over it instead, so, obvious regift. Inside the box, a human heart.

cant figure out if gods laughing at or with me

They taught me that sterilized means clean, and bereft of life, and never creating again, and now I am sure I do not want to be clean

they have us all rejecting cookies like thats normal like thats ACCEPTABLE WHAT DID THEY DO TO US

every day social media introduces me to a new little monster, like pokemon but blurting out sociopathies instead of their names

quis cuckstodiet ipsos cuckstodes