Things are going great over at X, The Everything App

look: say what you will about porno, it's a top 5 thing to jack off to

Some French guy: “et alors? C'est l'éléphant mécanique.”

blammo! kablooey!

I was woke... I'm woke right now.

Can't say I ever expected to see a "That Font was No Angel" headline. But here we are.

Charlie Kirk is America’s Princess Di

Thank you sir

Pope Leo XIV told students not to use artificial intelligence for homework, saying that AI ‘won’t stand in authentic wonder before the beauty of God’s creation.’

Count your blessings. @theonion.com

I just found this old picture of a poster that was on the wall at the school my friend taught at and there’s some incredible stuff in there

A friend has alerted me to this pressing and very real international incident involving the very sane Candace Owens.

what a day

The Republican president is a pedophile who has doubled my healthcare costs and let scores of violent criminals out of jail. But a Democratic mayor-elect wants to make busses free in a city I don't live in. I have never felt more politically homeless.

second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard

we need to bring the hammer down on wealthy and connected elites. it’s been desperately needed for a long time. regardless of party or politics.

the biggest lesson from the emails today is that powerful people are so unafraid of consequences for crimes as bad as “raping children” that they will just talk about it openly in emails the only path to a better society is one where that is no longer true

“whatever club he’s invited to join has been devalued by the invitation”

New Crash out. Mamdani is bad because the literal mafia doesn't like him.

This, in particular, is spectacularly hideous. It's like something you'd see on the wall of a car dealership where they put pictures of their top salespeople every month

kind of fucked up that not only did most of them just forget about charlie kirk, but that ones that remember him confuse him with steven crowder

Change in Headline

dawg not the steakhouse wedding font

BREAKING: Live look at the rich fleeing New York

It would’ve been a lot cooler if they were

It’s not framed this way, but what they’re demanding is that people in cities like NYC refuse to address their issues to privilege the politics of “flipping red and purple seats blue,” which they haven’t even demonstrated an ability to do.

dick cheney was gooning on a 6 monitor setup playing porn compilations on a loop. the wildest stuff youve never seen. stuff that SHOULD have been ai, filmed at deep state black sites using kidnapped weta workshop guys to make prosthetics. he died from dehydration and stage three cummy tummy

ive been saying this for years but the last thing i need is to hear more points of fucking view. points of view is how we got into this fucking mess. we need like a 99% reduction in points of fucking view. oh you've got an opinion about stuff do you? stick it up your ass dingus

Don’t see how that’s any of my business

I am a heterosexual man. And I can't wait for the world to see my beautiful ballroom I'm cooking up.

Nextdoor rules

A writer tried dating alt-right men as an experiment to learn about them. There is so much going on here I don't even know where to start www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/...

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag? KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag. CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this? KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable. KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

i found out from hedonism 2's facebook page that 1) there are people riding out a cat 5 hurricane at the hedonism 2 swingers sex resort and 2) melissas a freak

This post made me laugh

farm to table doesn't impress me. let my food go on a journey. let it see the world

Happy birthday to Eminem, born on this day in 1972. With over 220 million records sold, he turned raw truth into rhyme and brought hip-hop to Middle America. A lyrical force whose words still shake speakers and minds alike.

found the worst tailgate

that huge american college football fandom over in saudi arabia

Learned that an anonymous outside expert on submersibles did an interview with the OceanGate Titan investigation, and they released a transcript, with all the names redacted. The first line of his first answer? "I'm sure you're familiar with my film Titanic."

remote work is like birth control or UBI atp where there’s overwhelming research consensus they improve quality of life for people they apply to, yet access is impeded or blocked by the ruling class because the thought of marginalized ppl having rich full lives makes steam come out their ears