“When Dracula sees a pretty lady does he get hungry or horny” well first of all he’s obviously Bi and so the answer is “both”

the baileys are smiling down on him from heaven

The last time New York had a decent mayor was Giuliani, over two decades ago. Say what you will about him (you younger people only know what's become of him after leaving office), but he really did clean up the city. He oversaw the removal of its two biggest eyesores.

RIP Cheney you were like the first living politician I hated and now you're getting your butt poker in Hell by the devil from Season 2 Simpsons dang

Losing faith in La Fleur

This is actually a pretty good reason to try to stay healthy and not fall into nihilism - someday you will watch the bodies of your enemies float down the river

I got a haunted house right here *taps on my head

Me reading your posts

I’d post more about how wild trump and the GOP are but I only have so many existential crises I can put myself through on the daily

I'm not a real Millennial But l'm the proxy-Millennial for these treatlers to yell at because they're too devoid of principle or integrity to yell at who they're really angry at

me: science cannot explain how any breakfast sandwich i am currently having is better than any breakfast sandwich i've ever had science: (clears throat) it's because you're an idiot

Weird how when a Dollop gopnik antishipper quote tweets your account you end up deluged with virgins and gymcels in the notifications.

Which was the style at the time

Imagine being the lil center and you're trying to just snap the ball and f'in Jared Verse is staring at you like food

I need to hate golf now? Oh wait, I already do. Phew.

if you work for ICE you’re evil. if you cheer ICE on, you’re evil. ICE has no positive value in this country. it’s just an outlet for people’s worst, most racist and violent impulses.

Media independence is inherently anarcho-Bidenist.

if this post bothers you, if you are unable to draw a straight line between the imperial presidency/unitary executive/surveillance state building since at least bush 2 and never rolled back; if you cannot draw a straight line between the phony antisemitism moral panic and the kirk one: pls stay mad

me: i want to sleep in a human-sized hotdog bun 911: sir that's.....ok actually that sounds great me: so who do we call 911: [shouting in background] we're checking now

This is it 100%. It's the equivalent of Roger Goodell showing up at the WH to hang with Trump. This is a group who doesn't watch sports or understand sports and doesn't partake in sports they just hate black and brown people and women and like to express those opinions on social media.

someone give me a job

Our cities will not yield, you bootlicking piece of shit.

I’m not going to be living my life trying to make opposite decisions to trick Trump into leaving us alone. No. We are going to affirmatively choose what we *do* want.

Just took an extra-strength Tylenol and now I have a sudden hyperfixation on Sonic lore

literal first punt of the college football season and the PBP guy called the returner “dangerous,” we’re so back. also he fumbled the punt

i love this line of thinking so much. like, YOU were the one who decided that the world-historical outrage in gaza wasn't worth taking a stand on. you sold your soul on that one! and for what? you got nothing for it! at least your apocryphal dearborn arab kept her principles

We need a Johnny Sins of the left

Chargers parking a Brinks truck at LT

Note to self, don’t live your life in a way that people’s first thought is “Rest in piss, brother.”

Linda YaccariNO

when the 7 eleven hot dog has been on the roller all day and night

i think it’s not talked about enough that so many christian rightwingers support israel because they want to trigger the end times rapture and they believe supporting israel will ensure this

Commentary: You Sure You’re In The Mood For Another Wes Anderson Film With Everything That’s Going On? theonion.com/you-sur...

If you don’t get the post office preview i don’t understand your life

28 DAYS LATER (Danny Boyle, 2002)

Man I’m not criticizing anyone who gets their ass up and marches around for something good, I don’t care if they’ve got a sign like “Domuld Drumpf hope u like Hamberders” they bought markers for that shit good for them

“No Kings” demonstration, Ocean Beach, San Francisco

Founding fathers were of course famous for keeping it peaceful.

Repost if tired

Hell yeah brother

This hits a particular bit of nostalgia working a summer job in college

Make ICE Lose Everywhere.

How it started : How it’s going

I'm a good worker in that I get very emotionally invested in the work product that I'm making, even when I know I shouldn't care. I'm a bad worker in that I'm not actually good at things. So I won't hit the goals you give me, but you can rest easy knowing I feel terrible about it.

New from @noflagsfilm.bsky.social - Do Pass Rush "Bags" Actually Matter? James Foster charted nearly 2,800 pressures from 52 pass rushers and explored his findings, categorizing pass rushers by type and diving into pass rushers move diversity www.wideleft.football/p/do-pass-ru...

Three days ago: theonion.com/sean-combs-a...

Joe Biden relitigation is catnip for the press because it gives them a chance to avoid saying difficult things about the present situation we are all in while also getting to talk about themselves