it's fucking stupid there's a senator whitehouse you can't have that name you idiot, you fucking piece of shit

Maybe they're just playing a different game than we think they are. Maybe their game is "It's good to be the Washington Generals, and we don't really care what happens to the actual people as long as we have a comfortable life with people kissing our asses."

Nothing. Just out looking for a vacation home.

Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.

ME AS A CHILD: i cant wait till im an adult, then i can finally Do Things ME AS AN ADULT: the spectre of Things To Do haunts me from sunup to sundown, and beyond

Guy with a sandwich: “Fuck you armed agent of the state.” Ivy League: “I will eat my poop and thank you for it because I’m scared of a Fox News personality cosplaying as a lawyer”

SOCRATES: No god is a philosopher or seeker after wisdom, for he is wise already; nor does any man who is wise seek after wisdom. PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom. DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers

Has this country learned nothing from Mr. Victor Charles, late of Vietnam?

Not now, carnivorous death ball

Understandable have a great day

Or you can marvel once again at Patrick, who lived at Ballarat Wildlife Park in Australia, becoming both the oldest captive wombat ever recorded, and – to use the correct naturalists’ term – an absolute fucking whopper

sometimes I pretend not to notice the moon because I know it pisses her off

1. In the wake on Mamdani’s win, we’ll see a lot more far right anti-urban sentiment. Here’s a thread on its roots and evolution. The idea that the city is evil and corrupt, and the countryside innocent and pure, goes back a long way: to Theocritus in Alexandria, and to the Old Testament. 🧵

At this point, anyone—a university, a law firm, a corporation, a Democrat—bending the knee to Trump is doing it because they want to, not because of any political reality.

An “all you fascists bound to lose” sort of night

In my version of Forrest Gump, Forrest is put into MKUltra and magoos his way out of it when he farts at Allen Dulles

Milwaukee. Shit. I'm only in Milwaukee. Every time I wake up, I think I'm going to be back at Subway. I'm here a week now. Waiting for a mission. Getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker. And every minute Oscar Meyer squats in the bush, he gets stronger.

Someday I'll have more to say, but for now it suffices that no queer person alive will be surprised by this. www.them.us/story/lgbtq-...

When you lease a new Dodge Grand Caravan.

Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’

On this day, 415 years ago: Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth soldiers captured the Kremlin. Russian national holiday Unity Day on the 4th of November celebrates the day when Poles left a couple of years later Which means Russia is the only country that celebrates its independence from Poland. :-)

You are not a patriot if you have contempt for people who use SNAP benefits to eat while simultaneously not caring about a $300 million dollar ballroom, you are exactly what they molded you to be, a pawn in their game to divide us and enrich themselves. Congratulation, you lose.

Handin' out pocket-sized Constitutions to trick or treaters this year. Go get a Snickers bar next door, Waldo. Uncle George is hooking you up with the Separation of Powers and whatnot.

I've seen so many people online using the government shutdown as an opportunity to demonize people who receive SNAP benefits, WIC and any kind of government assistance. Here's the thing: I agree with those people. We need to end the WHITE welfare state BECAUSE welfare works. A thread:

Have you ever heard that Oregon has the ugliest, most racist white people? It's because of welfare In 1850, the US tried to build an all-white state. But only single white men showed up, so they had to create the biggest land welfare program in history. I WISH I could make this shit up.

#academicslky #philsky #edusky

Don't care what people use SNAP on and never will, fuck you if you care

There are birders who quietly snap photos of rare birds. And there are birders like me, who kill as many birds as possible without ever learning their names

THERE CAME A TIME WHEN THE OLD GODS DIED!

I heard there was a statue tall That sneered at folk and commanded all But you don't really care for symbols do ya It goes like this the feet the fist The head that fell the aim that missed The long lost king whose name was Ozymandias Ozymandias Ozymandias Ozymandias Ozymaaaaandias

Let’s be real: approximately ten seconds after you told Tolkien that Catholics couldn’t go to Mass because they were afraid of being disappeared by agents of the government, he’d be out there protesting.

✊✊

Bezos and the Walmart family have 800 billion dollars between them and don't pay taxes to speak of, but sure, the perceived shortages are the dudes trimming your lawns. You ignorant fucks

What a sentence, each word more exquisite than the last

Ohio has a new Distracted Driving law that prohibits you from looking at your phone while in the car And also the Columbus police have "JOIN THE CPD" QR codes on the backs of their SUVs

The thing about bearded men in dresses and angry dykes with shaved heads is that they're good, actually.

And I hope that you die And your death will come soon I'll follow your casket By the pale afternoon And I'll watch while you're lowered Down to your deathbed And I'll stand over your grave 'Til I'm sure that you're dead

[repeating myself louder in the haunted house attraction] did the dracula throw water on anyone else’s pants??

one of the most deeply infuriating aspects of american politics is close to half of americans would love if 20% of the country starved to death

Putin has assembled all his anti ballistic missiles systems around Moscow.. specifically Kremlin

Thei wante us talkinge alone on our phones to a demon thei created, and not goinge places and being wyth each othir yn art and joy and communitye. Thei want cinemas to shut downe, and broadwaye to go darke. Thei want wryteres to stop writinge. Thei want to sell us hell and have us pay for it.

The German company that makes the mechanical ladder used in the Louvre heist has used the image to advertise, with the text 'When you need to move fast' 10/10 response, no notes

A lot of people outside the UK positing the name of Soldier F. They know his name because it is in Hansard. If you are in the UK, you best not utter it. Who the state protects tells you everything about that state & they have protected him from the minute he started shooting innocent people

Can't make this up: "'Trumpery' became a fashionable word" in 1840s England to describe the overuse of cheap decorative elements on houses. (Muthesius, Stefan. The English Terraced House. Yale U Pres, 1982. p242.)

"They make a desert and call it peace" - Tacitus, AD 85

learned recently that the guy who wrote "The Night Before Christmas," clement clarke moore, also wrote a takedown of thomas jefferson's proto-scientific racism in "Notes on the State of Virginia," basically accusing him and others of making it up to justify slavery. which, that's right.

Spare some love today for Collingwood. The other Admiral at Trafalgar. Proud northerner. Hater of flogging. Legit brilliant commander and Nelson's trusted right hand. First into battle on Royal Sovereign. Took charge after Nelson was sniped and saved the British Fleet. Here's HIS Trafalgar... /1 🧵

Nae King, Nae Quin, Nae laird, Nae master, We willnae be fooled again! #NaeKings