In rec soccer it’s really sick when one of your opponents is mean but also awful at the sport. huge threat surface

when you're wired to seek conflict, you might find yourself accusing a rec soccer coordinator of needlessly gendering sandwiches after they send out a call for male subs

what do you mean White Christian God's Extra Special Army is actually a covert special forces unit acting on behalf of Little Saint James?

it might seem like a sastifying "gotcha" to ask how many wars the United States has won since introducing the Special Forces, but this question fails to appreciate the function of the Special Forces

I don't see what's hard about telling Americans the truth: The aged lying self-obsessed president who tariffed your stuff while blocking the Epstein Files & taking multiple cognitive tests just started a war you didn't ask for, for no coherent reason other than he thinks it makes him look good on TV

Thinking about this and the Polymarket stuff at the same time and frowning

This is Joe Rogan’s big break to play a major role in one of those CIA conspiracies he’s always talking about

and then for hours used passive voice to pretend they had no idea who was behind the apparently spontaneous explosions

A new poll shows 38 percent of Americans “totally OK” with fascism if it comes with a little thing of ranch

dontkoupil in advance

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

People will walk themselves into totalitarian surveillance if they think it’ll catch a few rowdy Black teens.

this is the MAHA mindset

December 30, 2025

The casualties already coming in. Grandmothers in their apartments….

Just fuckin, look at our main guys. How could we be the good ones? Might as well collect the upside on the descent. Try Polymarket today

Who is that distinction meant to pacify, other than the dumbest people on earth?

rooting for low-density lipoprotein cholesterol in one specific instance. it's the world's easiest trolley problem

saw this going around in a Whatsapp group chat. I can't tell if it's real, due to media literacy as well as vaping

They don’t even manufacture the consent anymore. And the guy who wrote that is an Epstein file

The kidnapping of Maduro inaugurates a highly dangerous era of U.S. empire that for perhaps the first time in an era of mass media is not pretending to be anything other than a violent, extractive enterprise of domination.

Once again.

There's no byline on this. There's an editing byline, but it appears no reporter at Reuters was willing to put their name on this.

CIA at it again. Going back decades, US behaviour towards S America is rarely in the US people’s favour & never in their Southern neighbours’. Export of political instability to the South has been a long tradition, which has blighted these nations*. The CIA Drug Connection Is as Old as the Agency

I believe Elon Musk now when he said “pedo guy” isn’t a serious allegation. It’s a term of endearment to people like him

it’s like im watching myself talk with a stranger at the bar

(Indian uncle voice) not Bari Weiss yaar. too much cucking motion doing

They released a statement making it seem like CBS is just like, a guy? And he’s a simple idiot?

Elon Musk’s mom must be having a unique experience on her son’s social media app

She's the Lorem Ipsum Rogan of Journalism. It's impossible to say if this is good or bad

Sad news for tasteful art collectors: one of those poker-playing dogs appears in the latest tranche of Epstein documents.

if a guy went viral for dying after chugging three bottles of Everclear and a bong hit of fentanyl, there would be at least a handful of PR professionals who'd helpfully offer expert sources who can speak to why you shouldn't do that. and you better believe they'd follow up as well

at the marketplace of ideas today and there's a toddler on the PA system who was just doing fart noises at first but now he's convinced the majority of shoppers that he is the voice of God

This never would've happened under the purview of Linda Yaccarino. It's too bad what happened on that fateful morning where she decided to take a hot air balloon to work.

when I checked Twitter today this was my only notification. I don't even follow this account. If I wanted to see Indians taking Ls, I'd just ask your mom how you're doing. In this scenario you're Indian and things aren't going well for you. But I hope that changes

The haters are asking “when will it happen?” But experts say I am highly advanced in terms of Age, MRIs completed, and McDonald. Who used to have a farm, by the way. It’s just terrible what’s happened to them

“Grok says” - you might as well be quoting a Magic 8-Ball, what the fuck is wrong with you

Mayor Mamdani, sir, the teenagers called me chopped. They said I'm washed. Please make it a hate crime to describe anyone as packaged lettuce

There goes our president. Bragging about his 4,500th MRI in the last two weeks. Claiming he received Top Honors in the "Official Lego Test." This is all great news, for everyone

New York City has a new mayor

A shithoused Ryan Seacrest in the Times Square Olive Garden: folks, no matter how you spin it, sure feels like we live in a fake country. Just racism and hamburger. You are not here, and you are not family. Throw it to a commercial for a drug you can’t pronounce or afford

Bari Weiss and George Clooney have both pretended to be journalists. Clooney was applauded for it. Sold out shows on Broadway. Because of the double standard.

some of my favorite stories from 2025. in case "full time journalism work" becomes a Viral Trend in 2026, I have many interests. even if it doesn't become a Viral Trend that's still true actually

I’m the guy who accepts Marjorie Taylor Greene’s sudden turn totally uncritically and everyone is so fucking mean to me for literally no reason

EpsteinList? The global classifieds website for wealthy businessmen and politicians? Kind of?

I went to a Massachusetts YMCA and it is one of the nicest gyms I've ever used in my life. way fewer rotaries and much less roast beef than you'd expect

(condescendingly) Actually, you idiot, I paid to look busted as hell. Good money I earned selling online Bible study courses. To support MY President.