Recovering from a stroke. I can only speak in the cadence of a LinkedIn post. My children won't talk to me and my wife is heading out the door. Others might crumble, but I've identified five opportunities to Rise and generate value.

That discord thing is so funny. Yeah I'm gonna hand over my biometric data to some Israeli MBA so I can chat on an IRC channel. One sec lets get the lighting right now don't be fooled this may look like cock and balls but I have a nose like an aardvark

Sounds about right. I’m queer in the traditional definition. Odd lookin’ duck

Outside of divisional and conference reasons I'll never forgive the Patriots for what they did to Raiden. He was only a child.

I'm pretty sure this Seattle defense is better than the LOB but that's hard to defend when that old team beat the shit out of that historical Denver offense in their Superbowl. But I still think they are. Anyways eat shit Patriots enjoy your AFC East champions schedule next season

Don't be fooled by this late game Dak-like statpadding, Drake Maye hasn't played a single playoff game where he was good.

You might think this is a terrible game, but for the Drake Maye tremendous fraud 2025 schedule merchant inclined, it's Shangri-la

I was one of the guys playing dominoes in the sugarcane fields but I wasn't smiling because I was losing my ass. For the love of God what's with these hands why is everybody singing I'm down 40 large here

Basically the best the Patriots could've hoped for. Punting on every possession and only being down by 9

I feel like they should’ve fried that groundhog up in a pan for groundhog scampi for predicting six more weeks of this shit. -20 wind chill huh *starts seasoning ‘hog with hobo herbs and spices* wanna check again bud

[writing my doctoral thesis].....lots of spaghetti. Consequently Garfield, l'enfant terrible of the Arbuckle household,

grok make me an image of the california raisins being euthanized at the vet

The only Bad Bunny I wanna see on my 244 inch television screen is Lola Bunny fading away on a jumper. Goddess.

The Muppets are one of those things that were about a very select gang of weird guys creating something and not a franchise, which is why it was pretty cagey that Henson was in the process of selling it before kicking the bucket unexpectedly. They could just do something else. He didn't care.

In The Muppet Show (2026) they introduce a plate full of tomatoes for Statler and Waldorf to throw at the stage around the second act but nobody gets pelted. Can't trust a writers room that's never heard of Chekhov's gun.

Used to manage a unit, made it run, tenants paid rent on time. Once I managed a unit, but now it's done. Brother can you spare a dime

I think it was initially rather bold trying to curry the support of a demographic that is largely under 8 years old. They usually stuff the ballot, voting for spider man with their peanut butter encrusted fingers

Much like anime and manga drew influences from American animation and comics, the Dragonball Z AMV set to "Animal I've Become" owes a tremendous debt to 1940's Fantasia.

With deepest sorrow I must regrettably announce that the Princess of Wales, Lady Diana, has perished in a fiery car wreck cooler than any of the fast and furious movies combined. She is survived by dumbasses

Stopping at a gas station on a summer road trip trying to reach for the beef jerky at the snack rack only to halt inches from it as my eyes roll back and I fall to the floor in a seizure

Your God is tacky. A rizzless beacon to only the bloodless. I've seen better shoes on a mendicant

RIP to countdown to extinction/dinosaur, a ride where you got chased around by a carnotaurus stalking you through dense jungle thicket while lightning crashes everywhere and the meteor that nearly ended all things is seconds away from impact. Probably won't see something like that ever again.

May this serve as a sobering message to the world: ban heapin hentai honkers at your own peril. Contemplate on ”Lowtax’s Folly“

At this point I'm thinking "island in the sun" by Weezer was a reference to Little Saint James

Replacing "six degrees of Kevin Bacon 🤣" with "nautical miles from Epstein Island" to reflect our troubled times

Friday January 30th had this sort of vibe to it. Just an assault to the senses from dawn to dusk youtu.be/b0W3b6jzE38?...

Do you understand how awful you had to be to get banned on Xbox live

Have a great weekend folks! Here's a little spreadsheet illustrating the most vile, criminal thing you could imagine about a guy commanding the arsenal of +5000 nuclear warheads

sekiro might be the only game where i wanted to start a NG+ run, and did. they should make another one of those in my gamers opinion. doesn't matter where they set it or what the story is just let me stand tall in the pocket and bang

It's cool how Nicki Minaj has to perform at stock car rallies and mud pit spring breaks in uncharted southern bogs now because she went full Machado for residency reasons. All for a card that costs .15 cents to produce and doesn't even work.

Buddy's eating taco bell fries supreme with a fork in one hand while watching a YouTube about how escalators work in the other on the bus. It really is true, every man's a king

My secret breakfast indulgence is blood of the lamb. Viscera of the innocent. Concentrated soul of war orphan. And a fanta

SNL rejected my "anything you can do I can do better" Trump and Hitler musical duet sketch. I thought they liked that type of bullshit

Conducting illicit and extremely illegal drug deals at the Melania screening. We don't even have to whisper. I might set up shop and have the truck back right up to the emergency exit

I don't really care that the Patriots got an easy path to the Superbowl. Or an easy path to win the division. Bills have the most important player needed to do something about it, and they fucked it up, and all signs are pointing towards them continuing to blow it.

Looking forward to both NFC starting quarterbacks snapping their ACLs like twigs in a few hours, setting the stage for another Patriots Superbowl victory, here in Hell

It's pretty cosmically significant that this turn of events is happening when a lot of the country is experiencing temperatures of -40 degrees

What a stupid, dangerous game they're playing after hammering for decades that the second amendment exists to protect the population from tyrannical overreach. Historically unpopular administration of pedophiles and pedophile enablers screaming "now's your chance"

What do these people think is going to happen. Even if he didn't deserve to be fired, which he did, this is some Beyonce "take that off the internet" bullshit. It's done. You can't squeeze the toothpaste back in the tube you morons

The android weather app frog died. He was sitting out in -35 degree windchill trying to have a picnic and he froze to death. Snowdrifts are too high to repatriate the body so he's just sitting there like it's the end of the shining

*kneeling next to a mass grave as the ICE officer chambers a bullet with sausage link fingers, dollar signs pop out of my eyes*

computer, cymbals yshtola.png

Got word from my sources that what closed the Greenland deal was NATO's guarantee of 2 personal visits from Santa Claus. Unrestricted. No cameras in the room.

The imperious man busted coldly. It was as if all his arrogance, his vanity, the hatred swelling within that withered soul, was concentrated into that vile, voluminous bust echoing down the stairwell.

POKEY AND THE ANNOUNCEMENT yellow5.com/pokey

broth of bean goes crazy when there's naught else upon which to sup

Alright with the devastating finale of the Blue Jays and the infuriating mismanagement of the Bills I can't wait to see what horrors are ahead with my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs. Not making the playoffs would be a mercy but they don't operate like that. They trailblaze bold new ways to disappoint

Ok last one. I don't think I've been more disgusted with the Bills at any point in my life. This entire season I was appalled. If they don't make a Superbowl by the time Allen's contract is up I wouldn't blame him for leaving. They're a poorly run organization that lucked out at QB.