i want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooong rap sheet

dogs dont need wu tang they born knowing protect the neck

I could go to bed OR I could yell dumb shit on the internet

thinking about inventing a new skin infection

DMing you directions to the forbidden forest with instructions to NEVER GO THERE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES unless you really want to of course

DMing you to ask if you accept DMs then never replying regardless of your answer

DMing you to tell you not to DM me

Reverse cowgirl so we can both pretend we’re fucking someone else

don’t bother me i’m doin orbology

my posts read best with a jazzy baseline playing in the background

We need more penis related Olympics stories

twig naturals

are riffing or are you whiffing, playboy ?

using my unhinged posts to keep track of when my period will start

Today is a day in which I would like to crawl out of my own skin and bones and slither down the drain to reunite with my distant gelatinous relatives.

spark master tape my beloved

Going to work is transphobic. Capitalism is discriminating against my boyfriend and I by not letting us just lay in bed all day.

I need everyone to know that on the crochet subreddit the mods made a big post about how they're taking a week off because there was too much fighting/political posts. so there's currently no mods on r/crochet and people are being absolutely insane

If a tortilla can rise up, so can we.

i must say you're looking quite anthropomorphic today

thinking about becoming hot lava

No notifications, or as the French call it, "la petite mort"

March 2000

Every time I go to the bathroom without my phone I feel like a hostage to my bowels

[I emerge from my chrysalis] the fuck

nap time was interesting

I could be mommy, I could have mommy energy, take off your pants, you'll never amount to anything, what the fuck is wrong with you, things of that nature

not now sweetie mommy is posting like a fuckhead

ok that's enough consciousness for a bit, nap time here I come

Corey got scared and ran out the door when @rebarmcentire.bsky.social tried to eat them. Don't know how they scampered up there. But Corey's on the roof now eating a squirrel. Aww...baby's first meal 🩷 (It's okay...I'm gonna blast my baby with the hose to knock them down & bring them inside)

casting lil bro to the four winds

rating you on a scale from catfish to chilean seabass

If i don't embarrass the shit out of myself online then who else is gonna do it

I have a pog for this

cool and normal 🎶

losing the zoomies feeling the sads

hell yeah no reason dead ppl cant enjoy posts

i post here for my bros an for teh bros we lost along the way i poast on the quija board

scromarrhea

“Gay Christmas cookies for festive decoration as well as good eating” from the 1951 version of the Fannie Farmer Cookbook. This is the world we fight for.

someone tell Headquarters the kids have moved on from loving 6-7 to hating genocide

gargling the balls of your posts

swagma

drinking enough caffeine to kill a small horse then taking a nap

I actually kinda can't believe ppl in my city organized a crazy efficient parallel anarchist food distribution network to counteract the feds halting benefits payments out of spite and state leadership doing literally nothing. we actually don't need these people dawg they need us

It's actually somehow worse than this

I'd never change for a man got no spare change for a man put enough coins in their cans gotta take me as I am