of all things pon which mine visage hath gazed twas the most comical, milord

prithee, young mortimer, fix thy gaze upon me, for by the grace of the almighty I have become not merely richard, but gherkin richard

autobots, lezz out

OUT NOW: Josaleigh Pollett (@brosaleigh.bsky.social) - “The Witness” single. Stream: recordu.lnk.to/the_witness @bandcamp.com album pre-orders (vinyl / digital): josaleighpollett.bandcamp.com/album/if-i-l... Listen to it three or more times right now.

I wanna know Have you ever seen the boobs?

I'm having some pretty intense cognitive decline irl lately and can't do shit for fuck and i probably won't be on here except sporadically for a while but thx for being internet pals and letting me reply guy everywhere good times

spot the difference

they should make a guy named "tim 'wacky axes' Binterson" whose spacetime dimensions are swapped so like he can exist at any time in history wherever he is but he can only ever physically go left

i'm so horny i could fuck a horse

it's walkies time again... you already know wtf is up #walkiesnation

thomas the tank engine taught me that my only value to those around me was the work me utility I could perform for others, or, how useful of an engine I was. kill the tank engine inside your mind

bandcamp friday on may day??? we are donating our merch sales to our friend xochi to help her apply for US citizenship. as you can imagine it is difficult being a trans immigrant rn so all help is appreciated. grab a vinyl or a shirt!!! Or don't!! idk

equality win! you can now be openly a nazi as a democrat OR republican!

it's fucking hilarious that old people and chuds are actually scared to death to go outside in minneapolis, chicago, or any major metro, but also the mania and fear that these ppl have echoes the genocidal xenophobia Israelis express regularly and it's easy to see where this mania leads if unchecked

the backshots rooms. Idk bro

I'm very grateful for the rapid positive changes in my life over the last 5 years but goddamn. being a late bloomer is fucking embarrassing sometimes. wdym an early 30s divorced he/they wants to "learn how to act at parties"

should I go to may day celebrations in mpls and find a beautiful any pronouns with hips dressed like a boxcar vagabond to throw a fireworks at me while harsh noise plays in the background

this shit is lowkey propaganda by the elites to sow discord among the poors. you don't have to have a doctorate to build a guillotine and i'll take dumb over evil any day

for ppl who have boobs. how do you switch them to laser mode? like where is the button 🤔

in this world it's simp or be sumped upon

bro it's time for Mirthfulness

what if Silly?

i really want to try more psychedelics (jake ego death speedrun any %). my only experience so far was with mushrooms once that felt v underwhelming. I feel lame af tho bc all my friends are over drugs because they actually got to have fun in their 20s so on my own there

hard at work at the he/they factory to afford my parrot's luxury pellets and extravagant lifestyle

Cum 2: Brazil

hey folks. just had a thought. you could call it the poochie, instead of coochie. for penis. just a thought. thanks tree girl

either my least or most woke opinion: we absolutely SHOULD have a death penalty but ONLY for government officials who commit any sort of crime in office. the only way is to make them afraid for their lives to fuck with us

I think it's funny that throughout history ppl have set up govt after govt where the only thing keeping it from total blatant corruption across the board is the expectation that the elites IN the govt use the honor system to go against their class interests and pwetty pwease not do a big corruption

wait what do you mean it's easier to make connections thru vulnerability than by offering to give more than you have the ability to and burning out???? fuc

oh it's just autism nvm.

I have such horrible fomo all the time. how do I feel like a part of things. or am I a already a part of things and don't feel like it. I feel like if I take time to rest I will just miss more things I've already missed I feel like I'm on the fringe but can't connect like I see others do yk

taylor lorenz is like THE case study for someone who once did actually useful and important work/reporting but then after getting a modicum of attention/fame for it went completely crazy to become a clout chaser. many such cases

no sorry babe I'm totally listening. tell me all about those turk men you stan

when bowie is bored and wants attention he walk around on the floor occasionally muttering "here" (what he tells me to demand something, usually attention or food) and bonking his beak on the hardwood. he looks so tiny and silly though compared to all the stuff lol. like lil man you weigh mf 4oz

maybe I would have stayed mormon if space jesus had giant suckable tits. big missed opportunity on joseph smith's part

today I'm using wood filler putting on all the holes my parrot chewed in the apartment walls and doors before moving soon #blowmyshitsmooveoff

listen. I'll bring the kirby if you bring the melon

I think it makes sense that I have an extreme case of "pathological" demand avoidance given that I was kind of literally controlled for much of my life. but I also hate it and want it to go away because it's ruining everything I want to do and makes me feel like a big fucking baby

what if when you die you go to heaven but then you die in heaven you go to heaven heaven and then heaven heaven heaven and that is samsara

me at my job building amps

this is to the tune of "my name is Jonas"

my name is Anime

hey man, bad shot

just came up with a man named John Kindness

and like. idk. I am well aware that horrible men have ruined dating for many many ppl by making it actually dangerous to interact sexually with male presenting ppl and that's a part of it. but then also most ppl expect me to initiate bc I look like a guy? and idk really how to do that too autism

what would be the coolest construction vehicle for me to be flattened by

i feel like an idiot sexless amorphous blob dude. like i have felt like my sexuality doesn't belong to me my whole life and I feel like if I try to express attraction to ppl it's a nuisance and others get to have fun and spontaneous things happen that will just never happen for me bc I'm this way

Thee!! (r)