close enough, welcome back Joseph Smith

they should invent a person who doesn't want their partner to be their mommy or daddy

personally mailed a guitar amp I built to Joe satriani yesterday that he is using on tour which is insane given I had never made an amp in january

I’d suggest writing down your red lines so they don’t ever shift in the breeze.

"clean your lens for better pictures" how about clean your ass. for less poop on your ass

pumping myself up with this absolute banger

kowabunga kimosabe muchachos. tubular shreddage today

I will never die I am a perfect Angel. Whom deserves whimsy and glee even

lx24 is goated when reverb is the vibe

getting sad wasted on a thursday we're doing this shit

i wuv obama

hot take: I want to get laid

got cancelled on by a cutie tonight in the latest installment of "jake tries to occasionally have a fun little fling to try and lesson the immense sexual baggage but is crushed by the weight of the reality that your peers have moved past that point and left you behind"

this is some good shit

weird phenomenon that I feel has seeped into current dating culture where women and queer ppl are supposedly liberated from gender roles but men are still judged strictly on their gender performance. bro men not performing traditional gender roles is literally how they start being less terrible

zoop! zoop! zoop! zoop! zoop! zoop! zoop! z

bumper sticker that says "my other car is a car where I'm suckin on titties in the car"

saw a guy pumping himself up in the corner store parking lot to the end of knights of cydonia by muse on full volume. hell ya bro I hope you slay your presentation or w/e

not to ask the obvious here is the way to attempt to hook up with someone by asking "do you wanna hook up"

me in mpls seeing the mamdani celebration posts knowing that our socialist candidate probably will lose to a real estate puppet who would personally kill every homeless person with his bare hands if he could bc lots of ppl here are straight up racist

did you guys know the great salt lake is on track to completely dry up in our lifetimes which will release toxic arsenic dust to the wind making the entire salt lake valley uninhabitable? so there are actually 2 reasons I moved away

They should replace oxygen with swag, and swag with nitrogen

my therapist said I was doing that bit from meet the robinsons where the bowler hat guy has a flashback to his tragic backstory and there are a bunch of kids saying "you're the best dude!" "wanna come over later?" and his narration is like "they all HATED me" and that fixed me ngl lmao

hey girl are you from kansas? cause yours are the only kans and ass I see

get in! there's time to explain! we have to go to the store

The Titty Situation Is Insane

that's it. I'm gonna yearn

you guys are getting paid?? idk I recorded a kazoo quartet as part of my freelance audio engineer gig that was pretty wacky

elder gonzalez, we got in a physical altercation because he wouldn't stop blasting christian music while I tried to read the book of mormon lmfao

ask me about my wacky lore, why I'm so hot, or why I'm so annoying

back in my day we fucked, married, and killed the same person, it's called commitment 💅

hanging with the realest one I know 😩

girl your yolo fleek is on swag

Overwhelmed? Burnt out? Facing mental health challenges? You should add a gratitude practice to the pile

got a stinky penis I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a stinky penis ain't one

save me square wave

humorous ending honestly I could have told you that

has htag cum

the worst part about being a late bloomer is that apparently nobody in the dating pool in the late 20/early 30 demo is also looking for casual lowkey shit lol

me when I'm the proprietor of this establishment

who celebrating

finally a workout for communists who are undisciplined people with horrible attention spans like me

new acct name idea

I want health insurance and to not lose my tentative grasp on reality😃😃😃

every influencer that moved to new york after their meme page career took off loves Halloween so much that it makes me like it less

finally. boobvember

every time I search for advice to use in my relationships online i see countless people who openly hate their significant other for their "lack of empathy" and "shutting down" it's so exhausting. like people actually just hate us. I see why RFK Jr still has supporters

he has ruptured the fabric of reality

begging everyone to stop dating autistic ppl and then resenting us for being autistic

✋ STOP!!!! 🛑 ‼️YOU MUST BE AT LEAST THIS CHEUGY TO ENTER‼️