If they were doing a real GOT prequel they’d have one set in Old Valyria before the Doom. Not another knights in the seven kingdoms deal

the japanese porn titles bot is smarter than the ais that ceos are trying to use to eliminate jobs

Someone should tell chuck schumer that the baileys were beaten & tear gassed by ice

deodorant sandwich

far more people die each year by slipping on pears than on banana peels but you never hear about it because it doesn't fit the narrative

We shall fight them in the beaches and the fields. Man to man. Penis to penis. *burps*

This dollar tree is powered by a 1970s computer.

happy pizza happy pizza pizza pizza happy pizza happy pizza happy pizza happy happy pizza happy

hey man come over we are making the howard dean noise into each others ass holes

we call it, present opening day around these parts

They call me. The scorpion king

when i eat potato salad i call it "removing a piece from the chessboard"

Four hundred asses

How social animals work together

Basted to perfection

Whiskey Friday? No. Frodo Friday

Always Caius. Always

The turtle laughed. The lizards laughed. The snake laughed. The field mouse laughed, and Frog laughed.

What makes this smell?

Gollum wins Hollywood's Most Famous Cloaca award for an unprecedented 19th consecutive year

The event horizon crew didn’t kill themselves & each other because the ship went to hell. The PA system was just playing paramore on a loop at max volume

Eating wigs, as a pastime, activity

Odysseus was Korean

If goofy’s urine were not real, we would have to invent it

Woke urine

What the hell was that all about?

dogs when you get home be like O Captain! My Captain! *pees on the floor*

Killing a Dracula with a corn dog stick

I could play skeletor, easy

I can’t believe they keep making game of thrones spin offs about stuff I don’t care about.

They call it Long Island but it’s not even that long. Like a guy bragging about being in the national average penis size range

I bet that dorkopill guy can’t hold his liquor. drops like a fruit fly after a couple weak sips of whiskey, coughing heavily.

dokoupil. more like dorkopill amirite

I heard your dad finally lost his virginity

“That kite is junk,” said the robins. “Throw it away and go home.”

toilet paper is stupid. just use a phaser at low power setting on your butthole

Destroy All Monsters (1968)

The Australian- Hungarian empire

The 1970s were so crazy. Hobbits were taking psychedelics and voting for George Wallace

ghost in the 50s getting traumatized into moving on to the afterlife after accidentally seeing john wayne taking a shit

Los Angeles is known as the city of angles. All kinds. 90 degrees. 45. 30. You name it

If a unicorn bit a Dracula the Dracula would turn into a fairy

Terminator isn’t scary. I’d just walk around magnets.

Pears are a type of meat

ET curing grumpiness with a glowing finger up the butthole

I love firing lasers at attacking aliens

Fellas, is it gender-critical to fuck a couch?

vault dwellers have to lock dicks and defeat challengers like deer fighting to win that position

And a double dumbass on you!!!