would a platter of really good bruschetta change things for you rn it would for me and it's just an appetizer !

never pick up sharp things pretend it's an affectation if you want but it'll save you cut fingers i'll tell you that much pretend it's a phobia

but people look so sexy when they eat spicy chicken curry tho 😳

al gore rebrands w/ a southern cooking show

watching a video and guy's eating a ham pastry and i'm thinking why isn't it drenched in hollandaise and why am *i* not drenched in hollandaise ?

that's too many hydrocarbon-dense resources to just have laying around bro lemme help

garlic battered fried chicken

watching 70s johnny carson and they just used to smoke all the time right out in the open without shame also everyone had allergies seemingly

much like these biscuits i am flaky, buttery, piping hot, and oven-fresh

banana split should have one banana sliced in half, three scoops of ice cream (one vanilla, one chocolate, one strawberry) topped with chocolate syrup, hot caramel, whipped cream, crushed nuts, and one or more maraschino cherries putting on that marshmallow creme junk is wrong: it's not permitted

would you go on a mediterranean cruise w/ rick steves *but* the cruise ship gets hijacked and hilarious but sometimes deadly hijinks ensue i *definitely* would 😳

"regime change" would be a beautiful name for a baby

when i was 16 i worked at a fast food place and this girl i worked w/ told me she was a blood and so she couldn't say "cigarette" and instead had to say "bigarette"

gimme a pack of marlboro menthol lights a bag of spicy pork rinds and a dr pepper no a diet dr pepper

ur not a news addict if you don't know steve from agenda free tv he is truly one of the world's steves

i thought we weren't doing more wars tho

they "stab it with their steely knives" ? what other type of metal would they be using in a fine hotel you think they'd offer camping utensils ? some kind of lightweight titanium or something

the meaning of life is to toil thanklessly in some surrogate hell of meaningless robotic motion so a tiny bit of ur surplus value can be consolidated into enough wealth to allow the absolute most perverted and insane people on the planet to live out their desperate attempts to escape the inevitable

did you say massive confirmed deposits of hydrocarbons, bro ? broseph??

if you draw it i will look at it i don't care if its a cock or balls or some tits i will do it

watching a news video and "¡que locura!" indeed

you could lure me to new mexico w/ a free earth home i'd be happy like a hobbit seriously

could ice cream from approx 24 hours ago be getting revenge on me now i suppose it's possible is this love or is this heartburn ¿y porque no los dos?

why don't *i* have several chinook helicopters seems unfair stupid, and unfair because *i'd* use them properly cool stuff only like 7-11 runs etc.

i come to you trembling w/ love and a tray of JITB tacos "tacos" so-called "tacos"

shawn connery

yes i've read almost all the tom robbins novels it's a phase you go thru it's a good phase tbh

i just assumed *everyone* vapes a little in the airplane bathroom it's not a big deal !

the fear of becoming michael landon will be added to the DSM in 2026

when brits don't like something, they're not "'avin it" "out of mint chocolate chip?? i ain't 'avin it, mate."

it's a "DIY" salad dressing that doesn't even have *one* step that's right it's already in ur fridge would that scare you be honest

c'mon over later we're gonna drink beer and shriek

i think i could be one of those doctors who prescribe marijuana over the phone. it's definitely in my wheelhouse you'd need ten minutes of training, tops

if someone says "here's the thing" i can promise you they are not about to tell you the thing

am i making a pot of genuine basmati rice for some mysterious reason ? could be *could* be

Scientists have discovered returning to bed "for just a little bit" after breakfast has positive health effects so numerous they're not even bothering to list them. Plus, them scientists? They so comfy right now. Too comfy for lists!

just got catcalled by the homeless man laying on the ground. i still got it.

think "i'll" eat a hotdog in the kitchen think i'll "eat" a hotdog in the kitchen think i'll eat "a" hotdog in the kitchen think i'll eat a "hotdog" in the kitchen think i'll eat a hotdog "in" the kitchen think i'll eat a hotdog in the "kitchen"

one advantage of living in an igloo is you don't hafta worry about it burning down it's impossible

oh, it's a "stone's throw away" ? how about we use real units of measure would that be ok in 2026

let's hear it for shoes really makes walking out of doors comfortable and safe

they'll tell you what's *bad* about anal jihad...

are you knee-deep in the hoopla

the only banks i trust is iain m.

john stamos looks good for 45 and he's 62

when i go to subway i get my sandwich on "italian" bread and we all know what that means it's ok i'm not ashamed

a bowl of cold cereal is part of this complete breakfast of 13k calories including a short stack of fluffy golden brown buttermilk pancakes, 3 rashers of bacon, two sausage links, hash browns, tomato slices, glass of milk, glass of orange juice, cup of coffee, two slices of buttered toast, 3 eggs su

the way ghosts kiss is they open mouth scream into each others mouth

remote-viewing banana walnut bread

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