a bitch name beauregard

fuuuuuuck i fucked it UPP aahhhhhhh!! !

don’t just stare at it suck it

Jonaldthan

president lookin like he’s been hit with the thinner curse lately

imagine getting an arrow in the forehead courtesy of the most autistic soldier in the british army

everyone in that room including the cats want guitar man to die

hey i can do this now last four watched

i love logging on to my webbed site

Ted, Nude Gent

the castle’s name is Vania

i lied

i can’t believe we’re living through the end of herstory

u ever just kick back, relax, and listen to the calming ring of your tinnitus for a while?

alright one more

if you order this they should just pop you in the forehead with a captive bolt pistol. it’s for your own good

look out folks we got a unsolicited HOT take coming in

how fast you think the flash can beat his shit off?

breaking: markwayne mullin has begun an affair with corey lewandowski

true love is the young couple at this restaurant that haven’t looked up from their phones or said a word for the past 10 minutes. now their food arrived and they’re still not even looking at each other while they’re three feet apart 😍

you gotta grunk it if you ever want to shump it #lifetips

if u ain’t biblically accurate, i’m not havin it. come back when you get a few more wings an eyes, playboy.

they didn’t have the original rainbow six or that would be on here too

bad news everybody. i was going to post hole for 400 followers but …. well

but doctor i am fibonacci

if i was cryptid id be a sadsquatch :(

i miss her every day

oscar doesn’t have to live in that trash can, he chooses to. his dad owns a global investment firm and he’s got a trust fund. it’s just poverty theater and i’m tired of it

don’t forget tomorrow is national Be A Snake day. all you have to do to participate is not use your hands & feet all day and if you’re really feeling snakey trying eating a whole clutch of eggs in one gulp by unhinging your jaw!

my hog be like….ah who cares about my massive, majestic hog in a time like this? the people yearn for freedom

haven’t had any healthcare ceos insanely brutally murdered by grenades and machine guns lately. what’s up with that?

hork on that shit

14 hours depression sleep oh boy you know i’m ready t o bring the funny now

i only vote for politicians willing to SLAM their opposition on social media everyone else is coward

at this point if you’re not following me i just assume it’s personal and that’s okay too

checked spotify and once again my top track is the ceaseless buzzing of clouds of flies as they feast upon the decaying corpse of human kindness

yo there’s a dude downtown in denver with a full ass bindle straight hobomaxxing

how your email finds me

wishing everyone in dubai, save for the indentured servants, a very merry hit by a missile

i’ve always been told life is full of endless pastabilities but i’m starting to think that’s not true

every time i see lindsey graham i think of an old twitter post talking about the cluster of moles on his taint that he calls his “little ladybugs” and now its the only thing i think of when i see him and i hate that

the wonders of technology never cease to amaze

good luck to all the modern day vilerats out there

football should allow guns like the beginning of the last boy scout. i’d be way more willing to watch

pov: you’re saying literally anything to me

dishonorable discharge is when you edge too hard and accidentally bust. the only way to regain your honor is the act of harakiri or to strike off the head of your lord’s most disloyal daimyo