Carrion Sam
@carrionsam.bsky.social
📤 1021
📥 1124
📝 8114
I'm perfect in every way, that's why people can't stand me
pinned post!
Can someone take me in their cupped hands like a small frog and hide me in their pocket, please?
6 months ago
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[Sic] Burns
3 days ago
Around here we have semiprovolone, much cheaper and tries much harder
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Alexandria W. Darling
3 days ago
rapper who hates cheese named post volone
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If there is provolone cheese, it means all the other cheeses are convolone
3 days ago
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✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧
4 days ago
i almost never know what i mean, i’m just saying stuff
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Daisy
4 days ago
I’m saving all my DoorDash drop off pics and making a collage to hang above my stove
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Bullwark
4 days ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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WEIRD MOBILE FIREFOX PROBLEM Why is it constantly throwing my cursor in the middle of the word I just typed and adding whatever hallucinated word it wanted to autocorrect it to For example it will go "MothMotherfuckucker" for no reason
4 days ago
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Who's Olufsen and do they like being banged?!
5 days ago
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I think human beings should be outlawed, that way, all the goid cops would put themselves in jail so only bad cops would stay out, smuggling drugs to the people
5 days ago
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My Empire of Dirt is what I call my job in mine waste management
add a skeleton here at some point
5 days ago
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Tyler, from the Internet
6 days ago
no you fool "freedom of speech" isn't for standing up to systems of oppression or to make a better world, "freedom of speech" means you're allowed to use slurs and get really nasty to marginalized people without repercussions. check your bible nerd.
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salad bar ham cubes
7 days ago
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You know what ? Nevermind, I'll come back yesterday...
9 days ago
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FROVO
10 days ago
MIKE: life gave me hard lemons
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here at mouthbreathing incorporated we care about your wellbeing, in that we believe your well exist, so it is being, and we care, well
9 days ago
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... sure kitten jump on my balls there's no way it's gonna hurt just jump right on it with all your weight right as my bladder is so full it already hurts nothing bad ever comes from getting jumped on the balls by a fat cat...
9 days ago
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Where do we apply for these secure and lucrative positions as drooling idiots?
9 days ago
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alexis simpson
14 days ago
"golf" is short for gandalf
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Five
10 days ago
Capitalism in America is full of wasteful machinations for tax and business benefit. Movie studios would rather burn a feature to the ground because it is a tax writeoff. Retail will dump entire stores of viable product into the garbage for the same reason. We incentivize this waste.
add a skeleton here at some point
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glue
10 days ago
loading . . .
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Gef the Toking Mongoose
10 days ago
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the hype
12 days ago
It's insane how many movies have been made to date. At least 100, by my count
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Themperor Kennedy🐸🏳️🌈
12 days ago
Wait, but I thought his mom was rhe one who convinced him not to fight Mark Zuckerberg Surely that doesn't mean, no, surely no one is that pathetic, right? Right?
add a skeleton here at some point
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Fucking hate that you can't read a title or a file path or anything anymore without clicking it It's so fucking stupid Ok, on my phone I can sort of understand But my computer monitor is 32 inches across Just type it normally and type it whole Oh and show the expediter's address of emails ffs
12 days ago
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Lock Wilford
12 days ago
I'm four martinis in on my day off and I'm shooting cans with a BB gun
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B 🐝
14 days ago
i feel really bad for whoever ends up getting this brain when i’m finished with it
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SpatialKimtamine
13 days ago
You shouldn’t make jokes on the internet it makes people mad
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[Sic] Burns
13 days ago
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jordan [ham]
13 days ago
*quickly puts on a pair of crooked broken readers while trying to unzip your pants*
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Neon Chinchilla
13 days ago
because the world isn't dystopian enough various people are making political videos about Alberta separation for... money... and not at the behest of governments just to make a buck holy shit
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Exposing 'faceless' YouTubers pushing Canada to join the U.S.
Who is behind YouTube videos with millions of views saying parts of Canada should join the U.S.? CBC News’ visual investigations team finds the truth about YouTube channels with names like The Canadia...
https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/video/9.7187429
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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉
14 days ago
Sure, sex is cool, but have you considered setting achievable goals?
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I wanna fight that guy who sings about not worrying and being happy
13 days ago
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BORN TO RUN IN THE WOODS WITH A MACHETE FORCED TO LISTEN TO ENGINEERS SUCK THEIR OWN COCKS ON TEAMS
13 days ago
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RECLAIM SAM ALTMAN'S CALCIUM GIVE IT BACK YOU IDIOT GIVE BACK THE CALCIUM YOU ARE WASTING THE POTENTIAL OF YOUR FLESH, WE COULD USE THE NUTRIENTS
14 days ago
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Pandy Fackler
14 days ago
I'm the primary bread loser in my family
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... since my car has a fucked wheel bearing, I changed the starter on my old beat up rustbucket pick-up truck... then realized I needed to at least hide the big gapping hole on its side...
15 days ago
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Damon Young
16 days ago
Richard Dawkins right now
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Listen bro your insecurities aren't your fault but every time you let them win you hurt your loved ones by questioning their perception of you
15 days ago
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unnatural girlfriend
17 days ago
thinking about the passage of time and getting scared
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Mara Wilson
18 days ago
I love how often somebody who makes a career out of being analytical and skeptical ends up revealing that they believe in one particular thing that is just absolute total bullshit. There’s always something
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Will Wiles
16 days ago
(I make a "mouth" with the side of my hand and draw little eyes above it) Richard Dawkins: hmmmm (I put lipstick around the "mouth") Richard Dawkins, suavely: well hello
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Twin Dad
16 days ago
I’ve never seen a bosom look great in a tank top. I mean, feel free to prove me wrong, but not sure you can.
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky
16 days ago
spent an hour setting up an experimental Hinge profile and here’s what I’ve learned: - there are so many different types of people in this world - I don’t like any of them - I will be alone forever
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Of course, it's the weekend before you have to hit the road for 1800 km that you find out your wheel bearing is shot
16 days ago
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Mal
16 days ago
Why are you sad? Is it because your skeets are trash?
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