come on

⬜️ Sign up and claim my 15% discount 💁‍♀️ ☑️ Noooo I hate discounts 😖 And guess what else? I want to fricken marry Justin Bieber with my whole life

I have contracted the parasite that gives you diarrhea. Not me, you.

It's interesting that Laura Loomer and Mitch McConnell both kind of look like the Jigsaw puppet but don't really look like each other.

I didn't agree with everything Lindsey Graham did. And now he's in hell.

alright hear me out

please show respect for the dead body of someone who didn’t respect your alive body

If you come at me with shit head energy, I will respond in kind. If you approach me gently, like you would with an insane animal, I will reward you with Unlimited Access. Take notice, and learn .

That's wild.

we have issued an arrest warrant for Diarrhea

step one the first hand distracts the audience all week with mitch mcconnell. step two the second hand sets up the trick with lindsey graham while everyone's focus is elsewhere. step three that's the majestic baby, christopher nolan's the odyssey now playing in IMAX next friday

I'm here you fuckaas bitch

i like when gay artists say their drawing of a man with noticeable bulge in pants is the SFW version. yeah that's great i'm gonna go show my boss.

we are in the anti-enlightenment which is great for clicks but not great for the concept of the human soul.

There are all sorts of oafs to try and emulate too. No idea why they larped with a merc. Next time run a jolly fat guy who is beloved in his town and has 12 different kinds of hot sauce in his kitchen, but actually vet the guy, Christ

Saw a meme of GenZ baffled by how pre-internet travel worked, and realized we’ve crossed an enshittification threshold where IRL services that once seemed outdated, like travel agents, now seem luxurious: “You meet with a human expert who plans out your whole trip with you” sounds incredible now tbh

In an age where Sysco, Conagra, etc are trying to make everything the same everywhere you go, it’s nice to know that truly regional American cuisine still exists out there

Damn summer cold got me out here schnieffing like Zizek

It’s New Foods Day for the Minnesota State Fair and this, to me, is the promise of America www.mnstatefair.org/new/food

who out there is daring to accuse chef john of clankerism. i will beat them

I think Chef John is doing these five second face things at the beginning of his videos to prove he’s not AI and this is what this demon technology has done it’s reached even to sweet Chef John who only ever wanted to make us happy

The most Mexican bird, known for its call of “a huevo, a huevo, a huevo”, does not in fact live anywhere near Mexico

Facebook’s own researchers found that “64% of all extremist group joins are due to our recommendation tools”, an internal report in 2016 found. www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

[putting on history of labor and aesthetics hat] See how the devaluation of skilled creative labor causes public visual standards to sink even deeper, with the previous devaluation paradigm of the word processor and MS Paint now held up as an ideal

Careful leaving your phone lying around. My niece checked me in for my flight and said I had a lap infant named "Stinky Poop." I had to call to correct it. The customer service person couldn't stop laughing. ✈️💩👶

LOGGING ON

'shouldn't we be able to learn a language in a month?' Where did he get that idea? Has he ever seen a baby? Nobody is learning more things faster than an infant, nobody has more time available for learning, nobody's brain is more plastic, and yet it takes human infants 2 years to really get going.

Riding the bus is cheap. Turning your gold into piss is free. theonion.info

Wanna see a dead body?..

This sounds absurd but remember we now live in a world in which a man who can't play Diablo unsupervised says things about going to Mars in five years and his share prices go up

We’re just remixing and rediscovering the spirit of old bangers long past

Many of yall

Me and the homies been giggling about the POOPLUNCH eyelashes but we were thrilled today to learn that Pooplunch stands in solidarity with the Black community 🖤

FUCK

The demonization of bullying nerds and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

gumby was always saying this

Yesterday’s Empire State Building banner stunt… the Foghat edition! No ropes, no climbing, just a little rock n’ roll imagination 😎

the funniest/stupidest part of this: the CERN accelerators shut down for several months every year. it's called the year-end technical stop (YETS). there are also shorter shutdowns during the year. somehow they didn't notice the effects of those

Custer's Revenge

First they came for me. Like, right away. I tried saying "Don't you have some trade unionists or gypsies or something to deal with?", I tried giving them names, but they weren't interested.

Had to dig up a hard copy for this one.

If our politicians had the guts to do what it takes America would have high-speed Train Dog coast to coast by now.

4th Century Christians invented stating belief in things, so you're doing appropriation by telling anyone you believe in things.

shout out to the dude working on his selfsuck technique in the middle of the field