Any laywers on here? Can you actually hock a jockstrap? I need a boat.

Finally saw the grim last ep of Dinosaurs where out-of-control corporate greed causes an ice age and the exctinction of all dinosaurs. Ha! Love the idea of millions of kids trying to process every character on the show dying. I'm the frozen baby, gotta love me! 🦖🧊💀

Spoooky stuff from Gilligan's Island. Sadly, the TV show plot of dressing up like ghosts to scare people off your land has been abandoned by modern entertainment. I say BRING IT BACK! This is an important life skill the next generation needs to know! 👻👻👻

Halloween time begins! 🎃🍁🔪

Sexy Billy Zane looking hot af on the made-for-tv movie The Case of the Hillside Stranglers. How can I get him to come over and strangle my penis?

Watched Weapons. Don't watch much modern horror cuz it sucks big balls, but this one brought it! Cool idea for a movie and solid execution. Even artsy at times. I want a sequel, but not a horror movie--a prequel comedy about the bumbling junkie trying to score and fucking up over and over.

Latest issue of AARP magazine with Rod Stewart on the cover. He is looking sexy as ever!

From The Crown of Bogg, a forgotten Paul Fusco (ALF) Halloween special. Definitely his early days, his puppetry is quite rudimentary compared to his more polished The Wickedest Witch. Still worth a watch for Fusco completionists.

I found some children in the corn! From a beautiful Halloween decoration in Portland, OR. 👶🌽🎃

Good one on #Svengoolie tonight! The second Kolchak movie before the legendary TV series started. Richard Matheson (I am Legend), Dan Curtis (Dark Shadows) and Darren McGavin make quite the combo! I recommend watchng all Kolchaks with subtitles on you can catch all his funny rapid fire dialogue.

my son

Hangover level

Weekend plans

BIG THURSDAY NIGHT

Calling it "Carrie with snakes" would be accurate, but that's still fukking rad. A college girl with a religious snake handler background gets mercilessly picked on and you can probably guess what happens to her bullies 🐍🐍🐍

Need a new look? Get inspired by the sexy hot styles of the crone fashion in Witches! 🧹💋🐁

Feel good movie of the week! Worth it to see Jamie Lee Curtis and Robert Reed (Mike Brady) smootch. I don't know who I was more jealous of!

I didn't peak in high school, but my hair definitely did. What's a good name for this hair style?

My favorite baseball player #darknightofthescarecrow

Willie Mays on Bewitched as a warlock. According to the show, magic is how he was able to hit so many homeruns! This show is silly.

Shelley Winters as Ma Barker in Roger Corman's Bloody Mama. Talk about being born for a role. Love this lady, especially in crazy ass roles like this!👵💰💀

From now on, whenever anyone says "Bullshit," you must yell, "Bulltrue!" This is the new law.

God, every time I bring a horny girl home all she wants to do is look at my Michael's Pets collection. I'm starting to regret buying all these.

When the night...has come

I think you can start now

It wasn't David Hasselhoff. It wasn't Billy Warlock. Or David Chokachi or Jaason Simmons. This guy was always the sexiest guy on Baywatch. Michael Newman was 🔥🔥🔥

Finally, some answers.

Can we talk about Elmer Fudd's sexy butt? Fudd's got cake.

I bet he could too

Monday (Very mysterious vintage ceramic Garfield. Is he supposed to be Michael Jackson in his leather Bad album outfit?)

The strange intoxicating ugliness of of Ernest Scared Stupid. A visual feast for the eyes, and assault on the other senses. Love this crazy movie!

Don't forget to go to church!

Creepy one on #Svengoolie tonight. The Citizen Kane of killer kid movies. A real film, not a flick. Razor sharp script, inspired performances, artfully filmed, top tier horror! 👼🔥💀

Played the Tales From the Crypt pinball machine. It was nuts! The plunger is a metal Cryptkeeper face. The whole machine vibrates. Insane amount of flashing lights. And the Cryptkeeper laughs like a nut the whole time. Amazing!

I should learn how to cook.

Hey, I found a movie about you

Wow, The Crow 4 totally sucked ass! Edward Furlong look like he wearing a cheap Spirit Store Crow costume. Hilariously bad wire work and non-stop jarring flashbacks. Crazy cast tho, including Danny Trejo and Dennis Hopper! Also features the most dramatic "eating deviled eggs" scene ever filmed! 🥚🐦‍⬛🦃

Went to an outside dance party on an extinct volcano and met E.T. (i don't think it's the real one tho)

Started watching Airwolf again. I forgot how cool Hawke is!

Grraaarrr morning from character actor Britt Leech! Been in love with this amazing face since I saw it in Silent Night, Deadly Night. Here he is tearing up the scenery in Three's Company!

NARM NARM NARM! Gingersnaps 2 kicked ass! Not as funny or clever as the first, but darker and creepier. Emily Perkins' "disgusted face" look is sooooo good! I wish I could make my face do that! 🐺💉💀

hi

The critics are wrong, the people are wrong, only I am right: WACKO is a very funny movie! You can not argue because I got a B- in a community college film class and I know what I am talking about. Unless you got higher than a B- in a community college film class, do not come at me.

Scary Larry update: He lives! He's happy in San Francisco with a new owner and now a Bucs fan. Still wearing those sexy cutoffs. 💀

Happy Crypto-Fascist Metaphor for Nuclear War Kickoff Day!