My husband's favorite joke is: A skeleton walks into a bar. "Gimme a beer and a mop."

it's been shameful living in a country that does not have a Quality Ballroom

Becoming invaluable at work isn’t hard, you just have to become the master of printers and copiers. Everyone hates dealing with that shit, and it’s incredibly easy to learn on YT. Waste toner? I don’t know her 💅🏽

11. No Nazis

Local legislator displays the importance of kerning

The only 2 options in America 2025

your tweets: dirty, touched by everyone, "viral" my tweets: zero interactions, flawless, like a secret waterfall in a pristine forest

TIL that Sting is in Bee Movie

This image should be framed and displayed at MoMA

Send this to the federal employee you know who is about to go without their paycheck again

anyway keep this from the press

as i've gotten older, i know when i should not operate heavy machinery, and don't need a warning. also, i am heavy machinery

microsoft product (begging, pleading): save this document to my documents? me: save to desktop microsoft (twitching, shaking) this jpeg. save to pictures? me: save to desktop microsoft (weeping, throwing up): this email attachment... downloads? me: desktop

We need an adjective like “avuncular” but for wine aunts.

Video games led me to believe I'd be solving a lot more of my problems with a crowbar.

You gotta absorb all this baseball and store it in a gland for the winter months

That’s right

Forced to watch Fox News at the gym and they are still extremely Not Mad™️ about the protests. Also Jesse Watters apparently has a number they encourage viewers to text lol

I.... fortune.com/2025/10/10/p...

Fuck KPop Demon Hunters, all I care about is Choctaw Vampire Hunters

“If you’re angry about THIS, but not about THAT—“ Bro I’m gonna have to stop you there, I am angry about so many things all of the time, I have never in my life been angry about just one thing at a time, my capacity for “things to be angry about” is as wide and as deep as the sea

it's funny how their 'big tent' only extends right, never left, and how they always blame its failure on dirty hippies refusing to come inside, not their own embrace of TERFs, fascists and other exclusionary demographics

The social contract was severed by the pandemic. We just live in a skeleton of a society now. And the creeps most aggrieved by being asked to do something for their fellow man are the ones now feeling unbound by said social contract. It sucks!

i’m just so fucking tired of living through crisis after crisis and feeling like we have to beg for and negotiate with our own representatives to address the crises seriously. they shouldn’t have to be disciplined by the base into mustering an appropriate response to a fucking coup!

Masterful trolling, My Lord, the people are quite triggered, Your Excellency

It's not really fair to call AI generated art "slop". Slop is used to feed pigs, meaning it has some sort of value to offer.

Just remembered I gave a fistbump to a dude in an absolutely spot-on Ghetto Pat costume today

Polebridge, Montana Population: 31

The most Minnesotan protest sign. #NoKings

I'll leave you from Portland with one last video of the @unpresidentedbrass.bsky.social, the unofficial house band of #NoKings

The needs of the many small beers outweigh the needs of the few small beers

I spoke to the Houston chronicle on the conditions that I only be referred to as frog

Photo of Salvador Dalí, by Charles Hewitt, 1955, 📸 by @ctm_visualz

💪

Boy, do the neighbors really notice when you bust a chainsaw out.

the idea of antifa paying protesters is so funny. if i wanted to get paid to destroy the government i’d run for congress

notice the general mood of the timeline? how everyone is in a good mood and there’s a lot less misery and dooming? how there’s a lot of “we’re going to beat these assholes”? anyway that’s why these events are important

MSNBC Grandmas in Skechers seamlessly reclaiming the frog from 4chan Nazis in about six weeks has gotta be the political upset of the century.

I saw a tragically AI-generated version of this poster, so I have recreated a 100% human-made version for all your protest sign needs.

No Kings includes short kings. sorry bros maybe you’ll experience a rollercoaster in the next life

I’m a goddamn American don’t tell me what hole to use

If you get involved and find that your time and energy is better spent elsewhere, then…go elsewhere. There’s a group doing *something* under every revolutionary category you can think of…just go. Do the thing. Stop yelling about effectiveness online or whatever, any small act is a worthwhile one

Trump is basically an insult comic, which means the only person that can defeat him is a drag queen

i have information that will lead to the arrest of the government

how it felt to click Subscribe > Block list

oh you’re a nihilist? name zero things that matter

Man what

Me and the rest of those who hunger and thirst for righteousness gonna get satisfied later if you wanna pull up