Nerdlingers! I have a contact who can get an ORIGINAL Empire Crew patch (one seen here on Mark Hamill) and a production sticker from the original Star Wars. There’s a lot of fakes out there but these are originals from Gary Kurtz’s estate. If interested, please DM me.

Shut your stupid Orange face and get lost. I've got you muted and I'm still sick of the sight of you.

Of all literary male title characters, Dorian Gray is the most problemattic.

From every pub in town, the little scoundrel.

*Casts clout before May is out*

What's up, eh? Well, we're having a new shed and it's the first day this year I haven't worn my thermal vest.

THIS! 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨🦨😘😘😘😘😘

Spring is in the air

@fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social Enjoy your birthday meal, Fubsy:- A ROAST IN A BEEF GIANT YORKSHIRE PORK PUDDING TURKEY and I hope your day is as fun and joylful as you are. 🎂🍻🎈

@8enkay.bsky.social Happy Easter, lovely! 🐣

@jimllmixit.bsky.social Any news, Jim? Been thinking of you but didn't like to mither.

Oh, "EGGcellent", I get it.

“And Baby Jesus who was white, definitely white. And British. Probably. And he was only born in a stable because hard working Bethlehem taxpayers paid for their hotels to be filled with immigrants…etc etc”

Dave kept me up most of the night, battering on the house. Should have let him out, ha!

A little bump, just in case anyone might be interested in getting a ticket for this:

This week's blog post. Happy Easter!

Today’s poem is called ‘Slow Puncture’.

A Dutch choir performing Danny Elfman's Ice Dance from Edward Scissorhands. Happy Easter x www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VlF...

[Spelling bee] "Your word is DEFLECTION" "Can you use it in a sentence?" "Can YOU use it in a sentence?"

Haven't started bracing myself for the arrival of Storm Dave yet.

@berniebanter.bsky.social Happy birthday, Bernie. The weather's not that great. I hope Storm Dave avoids your place so you can celebrate and play some long, forgotten songs and stay up until late. I'd join you at the party but I'm tired after 8! Have a good one, Bernie! 🎂🎸🕺

Live on @noiseboxradio.com right now with the #RollerSkatingJam. It's a very special one. I'm not saying why. You'll need to listen to find out. noiseboxradio.com

Im in Liverpool. www.hotwatercomedy.co.uk

And they're good at it too.

cat plait

For @icecrystal.bsky.social @lisatea.bsky.social @imhete.bsky.social @eelpiepete.bsky.social and all at #GoatSquad Happy Easter x 🐐 🐐 🐐

I know who named this storm!

Bondi beached

Loads more gigs detaled here now. Www.paulsinha.com

On the 25th of May Mark and I will be presenting the penultimate CARRY ON show. After Edinburgh the following night - that’s yer lot!! Tkts from markandlard.com 😘

A foot wash is for life, not just Maundy Thursday.

More of this and less of the war business please

I just doubled the value of my car by filling it up with petrol.

You can join now 148 people and join my kitty print club. It’s not very profitable for me at the moment but it is fun! www.infinitebacon.com/printclub

Whoever called it "swan upping" and not "cygnet rings"?

❤️ www.theguardian.com/world/2026/a...

"Fair Galathilion has flowered once more". I'm ridiculously pleased to have kept this lovely thing alive over the last few yrs. Container trees are tricky & my yard is blustery in winter & hot in the summer. But a bigger tub, some organic feed & regular bowls of waste water have kept it blooming.

My wife has issued an ultimatum - ‘Either the snake goes or I do’. I guess it’s just you and me now, Charlton Hisston.

face plant

then NEWTS IN THE POND! NEWTS IN THE POND!

Much nature excitement just now. First: bumblebee on the heathers I haven't yet planted out but still apparently delicious in pots. Either an early (probably??) or a red tailed

the casual outstretched hoof 🖤

Thank you to everyone who has been saying such nice things about my #sgtpepper book. I hope you don't mind but I've edited some of them together here. The book is available now through chrisbarkerprints.co.uk

In 1964, Steve McQueen won a Superman lookalike contest because he was in the greatest cape.

Hearing that Scott Mills has been sacked for turning up at Broadcasting House with a truckload of stolen KitKats

If it's really bad, the headline 'Dark Satanic Mills' is available for the tabloids.

Scoot Mills, more like.

Today's Blog Post

@glennyrodge.bsky.social There once was a man called Glenny, who wrote some ace posts and then he wrote a load more, I can't keep score but they're certainly not ten a penny. Happiest of birthdays, Glenny! Up the Wealdstone, or something. x 🎂