Help us make hope normal again. Join the Green Party now.

The trouble with fascism is that eventually you run out of other people's children

This guy went to work today, put a mask on, kidnapped a 5 year old child, and then used him as bait so both he and his father could be sent behind bars

If anyone is having trouble with Snipping Tool, I have tried several fixes and this one has worked. It basically swaps to a different app, which works perfectly.

Wouldn't want to be in his shoes. Not many can withstand being sternly looked at and tutted and expect to come out of the experience unscathed.

Man of the people this fella

Trump's only gone to Davos because he thought he had a meeting with this guy about joining his Board of Peace.

When American social media has you questioning everything you ever thought you knew about Tottenham.

You can get back the feeling of being a little kid again by fully poking yourself in the eye. So I've heard.

I once missed a train because, sat in the station cafe, I wanted to mock a friend's new haircut online and couldn't decide between "hairlarious" or "hilhairious"

It was ...the US! #WagathaChristie

The main thing i learnt from my time working in A&E is that if you suspect something is"broken" the answer is not to bring in a senile, emotionally fragile, American sex offender to start smashing it with a clawhammer.

IT'S HERE! Our first episode of the year! Episode 34. We review Amadeus, Weetwood Ales, and I get a much needed lesson in Men's Health. All episodes are here: linktr.ee/recliningpair x

Welcome to the Connecting Wall. 4 groups of 4 words are hidden in the grid. Each day a new wall. Send me your 4 groups plus a connection for each group. This is just for fun! There's no time limit but solutions will be revealed 6pm (UK time) each day. THERE ARE NO PRIZES! Here is grid No.83.

1️⃣ He didn't say that. 2️⃣ He said it, but you misunderstood him. 3️⃣ He said what you understood, but he was just trolling. 4️⃣ He was serious but he's just negotiating, not going to do it. 5️⃣ He's going to do it for grand strategy reasons I've invented. 6️⃣ Look what you liberals made him do.

Starmer says he does not think Cookie Monster would eat your biscuits.

I blame all these Reform defections on the Overton Transfer Window. Fingers crossed Farage goes to the Knesset on a free.

There's a lot to be said for getting up at 10 past 4 in the morning, and much of it involves expletives.

Me: [nothing] Amazon: Do you know what you need? Me: [nothing] Amazon: Chainsaws! Chainsaws and whiskey!!

look, losing $77 billion isn’t ideal, but it’s not like everyone said ‘what a pile of dogshit, who’s going to want that’ when they saw it

Welcome to the Connecting Wall. 4 groups of 4 words are hidden in the grid. Each day a new wall. Send me your 4 groups plus a connection for each group. This is just for fun! There's no time limit but solutions will be revealed 6pm (UK time) each day. THERE ARE NO PRIZES! Here is grid No.81.

2024: can Europe defend itself ALONGSIDE America? 2025: can Europe defend itself WITHOUT America? 2026: can Europe defend itself AGAINST America?

13yo Jesus: You're not my real dad! I HATE YOU! Joseph: One of these days boy, I'll— [distant thunder] I'll do nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Thought this was a floating head, sticking out of a fireplace.

Too few people are talking about the blood on Elon Musk's hands. When DOGE slashed foreign aid, it wasn't just numbers on a screen. It was insulin, food, and antibiotics being ripped away from the world's poorest children. Musk is responsible for the death of thousands

I can't trust politicians who are anti-trans. Not because I'm "only searching for perfection" which is what centrists will be accusing me of for the rest of my life, it's because if you're not pro-trans you'll be garbage on lots of other issues too. Being anti-trans NEVER exists in a vacuum.

Overheard in my living room: "Did you see the Tour de France is coming to Liverpool?" "What's Tortoise Frank?"

me [before shower]: i'll be super quick, in and out, no messing about me [on my third hour in the shower]: what would a lemon's star sign be

They're all in the pocket of big farmer.

Tale as old as time.

So that’s why it’s called crack cocaine! leamingtonobserver.co.uk/news/warwick...

My school.

"QR codes for ICE agents?"

Very much enjoyed last night’s potato salad.

Being a newbie to Bsky I’m feeling pale blue and a trifle lonely. Please make my day and turn my Sky Azure blue - send an acknowledgment of my presence. Please and thank you ☺️ 🙏🏻

Captain Corelli had the most thinly sliced vegetables and lacerated fingers of anyone in the Italian army.

To be fair, the only way Pete Hegseth's band of losers are going to have any intelligence is if it's artificial.

If you're a transphobe and you're following me, may I politely request that you do one. I would also impolitely request that you go fuck yourself. #TranswomenAreWomen

Adagio For Scissors

That awkward moment when you order the cajun catfish, and they bring a strapping, 64-year-old trucker from New Orleans to your table, who introduces himself as Rachelle, a teenage cheerleader.

In news which should be shocking to absolutely no-one with an ounce of commonsense or humanity, providing gender affirming care to trans young people reduces risks of harm. Preventing trans young people accessing treatment has never been about "protecting children" www.advocate.com/health/trans...

If you write javascript to replace "the markets" with "the spiders" then financial news makes much more sense

Ages ago, we were talking about nicknames, and my favourite was the bloke at work (in the early 90s) who we called Big Ted. His name wasn't Ted, and he wasn't particularly big, it's just that his desk was right next to a round window.

Yer da tells people Gary Numan is older than Gary Oldman.