Rather than a General Election, I think I'd favour a full investigation into Nigel Farage's finances.

TEMP REQUIRED for an office based in Central London – apply in writing to Number Ten. Previous experience not essential – you’ll be out of there by five pm.

It’s worth bearing in mind with Starmer that it doesn’t have to be an accumulation of faults. For some of us there are simply red lines, such as not protecting the human rights of vulnerable people. The rest only adds to the conviction.

The next PM needs to be committed to fixing the problems that we have. Not the made up gripes of the loud and misinformed minority

Last word on Andy Burnham: never trust a man who looks like all of the Smiths at once.

Ergo PropterHog?

10 years on from Brexit, there are still no rules to stop lies in election ads. We’ve tabled amendments to prevent ads like the Brexit bus misleading voters again. Email your MP and ask them to sponsor them. 16 MPs have so far. It takes 30 seconds 👇 reformpoliticaladvertising.org/take-action/...

The attacks in Edinburgh, in which an armed bare-chested white man terrorised Muslims, leaving five people injured, don't feature on a single newspaper front page this morning. Two tier journalism

'Four legs good. Two legs better.'

If I go to sleep in the next two minutes, I could get a full 40 minutes. Luxury!

They could have had Count Binface. #Makerfield

I'm in danger of going full Four Yorkshiremen and having to get up half an hour before I go to bed. Thanks, Makerfield.

You couldn't make Schindler's List these days. Steven Spielberg would sue you.

Idris Elba denies rumours of his being the new Tobermory

I can point outside to actual foxes that know as much as anybody who listens to Fox.

If you think Jaws is scary for not really showing the shark, you should check out spielberg's other films. they don't show the shark at all

No matter how much I shampoo and condition my hair after going to the baths, this is what the cat does to me. I reckon Romeo had been for a dip.

Imagine having a laptop that doesn’t make the noise of a small jet engine or burn the tops of your thighs

yes i own the trebuchet opposite google’s offices, but anyone is free to load and operate it so i don’t understand how any of what happened is my fault, your honor

Decided against the local comp then?

I don’t suppose anyone wants to vote for plant of the year awards? Could do with the clicks tbh… www.hortweek.com/choose-natio...

Christchurch and St Michael’s Birkenhead

So Musk is a trillionaire now is he? FFS! Nobody needs that much bird seed.

Petition alert: I know there's lots of them but this one needs to get to 100,000 by the end of the month My good friend Nansi asked me to do a video to help raise awareness that widows used to get 18 years of support but now it's cut to 18 months Please sign: petition.parliament.uk/petitions/75...

Triceratops: Does it look like that meteorite is coming our way? Pedantisauras: I think you'll find it's a meteor until it makes contact with the gr__

Is it 'nobhead' or knobhead'? I don't want the priest to think I didn't take writing these vows seriously.

I don't usually virtue signal about my environmental activism, but I'm nearly halfway through no-mow 2026.

It is quite a thing to be the worst country of recent World Cups when the last two were Qatar and Russia.

Convictions for far right terrorism and incidents, are far higher than convictions for any other terror incidents in this country, but if we only ever listen to politicians, mainstream media and right wing pundits, we would never know.

In a turn of events that could only happen to me, my eyeless cat Bertie needs... eye surgery. This friday. Help, please?!

Board game idea: BONOPOLY: like Monopoly but where the streets have no name.

One of the things that confused students was why the Nazis had the erroneous term socialism in their party name, national socialism. Here’s far right extremist Nigel Farage to explain why*…

Of course in the UK, Top Gun was called Boss Gun...

"You dirty old man."

"'Arold!" (One for the kids)

@kayburley.bsky.social It's Hillsborough 97.

Scientists have yet to determine how many units of alcohol eradicate the abiity to walk in a straight line, but they know it's a staggering amount.

bari weiss just wants to work with journalists who are brave enough to stand up for the rights of the most powerful and heavily-armed government in human history against the tyranny of some annoying people being mean to them online

My plans for today include bacon butties, Widow’s Bay & winning the lottery. I’d settle for 2 of 3 as long as one is the lottery.

Okay, 140 is beginning to look less shit. #EngNZ

I support LFC and the England cricket team, so yes - I'm well acquainted with the destructive properties of hope.

If you don't eat enough fibre, who you gonna call?

Some political party should sign up Szoboszlai as a canvasser. He's brilliant at getting crosses into the box.

Thought it said Poo Force One. It definitely should.

fixed it for you

I am once again wondering whether "no, the legitimate concerns racists don't have a point, fuck off, they're racist" might have been a better way of combating the far right.

“I said it’s good of Nigel Farage to speak out about the murder of Henry Nowak. What did I say Roy?” “You said he’s a cynical piece of shit who’s exploiting a tragedy to spread hatred and division”

In the land of the blind, the one armed man shouldn’t even be in this proverb as he's the guy who murdered Harrison Ford's wife in that movie and tried to frame him for it. Meanwhile, somewhere a confused man with one eye is being taught to fish in a totally different proverb.

'Did you insinuate my wife was a prostitute on the Plymouth Herald comments section?'

It appears the government won't be satisfied until it has hounded trans people out of society altogether. The Government are choosing every moment and mechanism they can to demonstrate they don't care about their lives. We have to draw the line. Reject the framework.