A few weeks ago, a muslim woman got mowed down in broad daylight on camera and no one has done a fucking thing about finding her attacker- it wasn’t even in the news here, I saw it on AJE’s insta

It has finally happened. Coldwar Steve has become flesh.

"And then they used up all the drinkable water so that @patriot429631 could make deepfake videos of lions flying Spitfires over the Houses of Parliament while blond families smiled at postmen on the streets of London."

Going to see my youngest perform in the West End this year. 🙌

The IFA is being threatened with legal action if they don't ban trans girls and women from football in Northern Ireland. [Belfast Telegraph] Sharron Davies and Tracy Edwards. They've also contacted the Welsh FA, British Gymnastics, Parkrun plus 6 other sporting bodies not named.

They need to stop playing the themes from Star Wars and Harry Bloody Potter when I have my car windows open. Makes me feel like everyone's thinking I'm a sex offender.

I don't understand all the scepticism. In 2019, a crypto billionaire was with Farage when he got milkshaked. That made him decide to donate £5 million anti-mikshake money five years later. Farage's immediate decision to stand for parliament and push for less crypto regulation was a coincidence.

I wish I loved anything as much as Classic FM loves playing the theme from Braveheart.

I was a lifelong opponent of the death penalty, but then they invented vagueposting, and now I'm not so sure.

He looks like a waxwork of Prince William.

Hahaaaa achievement unlocked and now I might just retire

If this time travel experiment works, I should be able to go from here and now and reappea—

For some reason my Substack about ovarian cancer now has a significant following of older American women. One decided to tell me that being chipper meant I had a “sense of spunk.” open.substack.com/pub/janehill...

Want to feel old? This is Tintin now.

Sure, sex is good - but have you ever got the lost end of a drawstring back out of your hood with a safety pin?

my pug has a v comfortable car seat and gets pup cups at starbucks drive throughs just like his wolf ancestors

I remain, Sir, Ever yours,

I'm sorry if this gives you negative vibes

took a painkiller for my headache but this is social media so i think i'm supposed to say I've "ibuprofenpilled myself to join the migrainesphere"

Hitting your printer with a hammer: 2026: entirely reasonable and probably justified. 1926: assault with a deadly weapon

Russell Brand searches for a Bible passage - with the addition of the Countdown clock music.

I actually saw a "serving suggestion" on a bag of shredded lettuce yesterday. And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

I hear Trump evacuates quite often. Hence the massive pants.

Any suggestions for what I should buy with these three full books of Green Shield Stamps that I found at my parents’ house? Goblin Teasmade? Chopper Bike? Swingball Set? Mousetrap Board Game…?

All this, and now I have to worry about Ben Stokes, too.

IDEA: Heist where a young Trans man, a bisexual and a long-time-masking autistic person go around robbing the offices of the British national press & getting away with it because their heist targets refuse to believe they exist and therefore can't see them cartwheeling out with arms of cash

Arsonist slams match he lit for weaponising the petrol he poured on everything.

We don’t do political stories, but the answer to this is “you got fined for driving in a bus lane because you drove in a bus lane”.

This is why it's important authors read a lot, Murakami has no idea this has been done already

US govt: Their bodies, their choice. People: So you'll restore Roe v. Wade and allow gender-affirming care? US govt: Not like that.

<sniff> <sniff> No. Don’t tell me. Smells a bit like... a plastic bag caught in a tree? No, wait: is it the whiff of people complaining about Gen Z? No, hang on — it’s the heady waft of someone going too fast on an e-scooter and nearly hitting you, isn’t it? No? Oh. OK. Is it Laura Kuenssberg?

The CEO of Palantir posted a fascist manifesto on X. I pointed out that it was fascist—which resulted in a permanent suspension from X (my second time!). So, when you hear the tweeters complaining that BlueSky is intolerant, remember why many of us came here in the first place.

celebrating a man city trophy win is like celebrating an american military victory: it’s best if you don’t think about everyone who died in the process

I’m sorry, you’re telling me Dungeness isn’t in Scotland. Are you high? It’s the most Scottish sounding place I’ve ever heard of. Get it moved! x

"Why, sir. You must think me a fool, indeed, to propose exchanging my Swiss roll for a bunch of parsley." #GirlsOwnCC

Enjoy the Sunday caption contest, give away lots of ❤️s, repost to encourage more competitors, include #GirlsOwnCC

Palantir put out a 22-point summary of their CEO's book The Technological Republic. It's pitched as a defence of the West, but if you read it through the VDA framework, verification, deliberation, accountability, what it's actually doing looks rather different. twitter-thread.com/t/2045574398...

That brought my stroke about five years closer. #MerseysideDerby

George Lewis is running the London Marathon for Autistica. If you can share the link or chuck him a few quid, that would be much appreciated. www.justgiving.com/page/georgel...

Democratic Ways & Means Committee confused as RFK Jr responds to questions with "Is my face bovvered?"

Jeopardy making a great case for the Oxford comma.

Unlawfully killed, unfairly blamed. Always remembered, never forgotten. Justice for the 97. 🌹 #JFT97 #YNWA #LFC

Sons, fathers, daughters, cousins, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles. #YNWA #JFT97

Lovely people, these Reform UK candidates for the upcoming election, and great to know they're on our side.

youtu.be/OV5_LQArLa0?... #JFT97 #YNWA #DontBuyTheSun

There is a snazzy video online of us Cardiacs playing “Fiery Gun Hand” in Manchester the other day, for those who can tolerate such things. My impossible keyboard solo begins at 3:59 youtu.be/povE3Y68mqg