🎉 Extra Date Added! We are delighted to announce that Brian Bilston, Twitter’s unofficial Poet Laureate, is returning to Seamus Heaney HomePlace for an extra night on Saturday 7th November 2026. 🎟 Tickets on sale now > tinyurl.com/ykjn5a2t

Today’s poem is called ‘How Much I Dislike the Daily Mail’.

Thinking about this quote from Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi again.

Just to add that my 6th Nov show at the Seamus Heaney Centre in Bellaghy has now sold out - so another one has been added for the following evening. All details here: brianbilston.com/events/

I’m about halfway through writing my show for this autumn: How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside. It’s based around my book of the same title, out in April. Some shows are close to selling out: a big thanks to everyone who has bought tickets. A full list of dates is here: brianbilston.com/events/

Pulp poetry.

Hannah Spencer walking into Westminster, sucking her teeth, tutting, and muttering "tell you what, you've had some cowboys in here."

I'm reading poems at a few literary festivals this year - including ones in Keswick, Guernsey, Wrexham, Tunbridge Wells, Dorchester-on-Thames, Filey & Leek. Words on the Water has sold out, but tickets are on sale for the others. Info on those, plus my autumn tour, is here: brianbilston.com/events/

Having a clear out of first lines for poems I shall never write. Please help yourself to any of these.

The Day We Argued About Roman Numerals   Even now in my mind, that row remains VIVID – I tried to stay CIVIL but you ended up LIVID.

Written English has barely changed in 300 years. If you can read Harry Potter, you can read Robinson Crusoe (1719).

This autumn, I’m heading off on tour with my new book, ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’. The full list of where I’ll be and when is here: brianbilston.com/events/

Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████

This week, Waterstones are offering 25% off preorders of my new book, ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’ (April): www.waterstones.com/book/how-to-... The same offer also applies for my paperback collection for children, ‘Let Sleeping Cats Lie’ (Aug): www.waterstones.com/book/let-sle...

To mark Valentine’s Day, here is what is believed to be the world’s oldest surviving love poem, written 1.5 million years ago by one of our earliest ancestors, homo unrequitus.

And here’s my 2026 festival list so far. 14 Feb: Stage4Beverley 12 Mar: Words on the Water, Keswick 28 Apr: Guernsey Lit Fest 30 Apr: Wrexham Carnival of Words 1 May: Tunbridge Wells Lit Fest 2 May: Dorchester-on-Thames Fest 9 May: Filey Lit Fest 3 Jun: Leek Arts Fest brianbilston.com/events/

I’m delighted to be appearing at the Tunbridge Wells Literary Festival on 1st May. Tickets have just gone on sale and are available here: twlf.ssboxoffice.com/events/brian...

Happy Radio Day to all those who celebrate.

And I look forward to returning to Hackney Empire to join Hollie McNish, glorious venue @hackneyempire.bsky.social with the brilliant @holliemcnish.bsky.social come along on March 21st xx www.hackneyempire.co.uk/events/holli...

Gigs: March 2026 📚March 2: Barnsley Book Festival @livewirepoetry.org @mattabbottpoet.com & Toria Garbutt 🇯🇲March 12: Manchester, Sounds of Solidarity, fundraiser for Hurricane Melissa 🎤March 21: @hackneyempire.bsky.social with @holliemcnish.bsky.social 🎟️ www.salenagodden.co.uk/2026/02/gigs...

RIP Bud Cort. How else would you even pay tribute to him.

💝This Sat 14 Feb we’ll be at the East Riding Theatre in Beverley for an evening with @brianbilston.bsky.social As it’s Valentine’s Day, Brian will be performing from Alexa, what is there to know about love? Be prepared for a new insight into 💕 www.eastridingtheatre.co.uk/brian-bilsto...

I'm an enigma, wrapped in a banana, covered in foil, and popped on barbecue

Wednesday.

Here’s a poem called ‘Talking Down’.

Crockett: "The US is falling apart, partially bc he's allowing for killings in the street, but also bc we have a 34 count convicted felon being shielded from any type of accountability as it relates to a child sex trafficking ring. I don't understand why we're pretending any of this is normal."

An Important Information Film. Please share widely so that more people receive the information. Tickets: www.mickperrin.com/tours/alasdair-beckett-king-king-of-crumbs

If poetry is your thing, you'll be excited as I am to know there's a new Brian Bilston collection coming this April. It's our 7th most popular pre-order at the moment, but you can push it up the list: bertsbooks.co.uk/product/how-...

In a bid to outfox the algorithms, I’m using a sink plunger stuck to my head to point at my new book (it’s out this Thursday you should definitely preorder a copy). Pretty sure this will work. Hit repost or like if you see this post. 🔁❤️

Last posting dates for Valentine's cards 💌 Monday 9th Feb for 2nd class Wednesday 11 Feb for 1st class Get your orders in sharpish if you want them there on time! www.gailmyerscough.co.uk/valentines-c...

H r ‘ a o m all d ‘O t of hara t r’.

🎟 NEW DATE ALERT: @brianbilston.bsky.social'S 2026 TOUR IS COMING TO OXFORD 🎟 The poet who’s made millions laugh, think, and fall in love with words is heading back on tour now with an added date at @thenorthwalloxford.bsky.social on 18th November! 📍

Tickets for two autumn shows have gone on sale today: Warwick Arts Centre, COVENTRY on 1st Oct: www.warwickartscentre.co.uk/whats-on/Un8... And an EXTRA DATE for OXFORD on 18th Nov. 31st Oct show has now sold out: thenorthwall.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/... End of Very Important Message

Here’s a poem called ‘An Attempt to Write an Abecedarian Poem in Praise of the Dictionary’.

Here’s a poem called ‘Message to the 14-Year-Old Me’.

✨ Brian Bilston LIVE in Filey ✨ Known as the Banksy of poetry, Brian Bilston brings his witty, life-affirming poetry to the Evron Centre Concert Hall. 📅 Sat 9 May | ⏰ 7.30pm 🎟 £20 via WeGotTickets or Filey Post Office A rare chance to hear the enigma himself! 📚🎤

Quick, boring update about my autumn tour: Oxford in October has now sold out. Bristol, Bury St Edmonds, Exeter, Colchester, Corsham, Helmsley, Deal and Stroud are being particularly perky. The full list of where I’ll be - and when is here: brianbilston.com/events/

Monetisation The advert said MONETISE YOUR FOLLOWERS so he thought he would respond by painting them in the changing light, like waterlilies in a pond.

Liz Truss waiting patiently by her phone for Reform to ring, not realising it's actually a penguin biscuit

Me, doing some relatable William Blake (1757 – 1827) material in Dictionary Corner. Come and see me on tour: www.mickperrin.com/tours/alasdair-beckett-king-king-of-crumbs

And one to remember how many hours each day has

Annual reminder of how many days there are in each month.

Here’s a short poem about the power of poetry to change the world.

Here’s a short poem about the power of poetry to change the world.

Just a quick heads up that some of these autumn shows will sell out over the next month or so: most likely are Oxford, Helmsley, Corsham, Bury St Edmonds, Pocklington, Bellaghy and Loughborough. Book early to ensure disappointment.

Just a quick heads up that some of these autumn shows will sell out over the next month or so: most likely are Oxford, Helmsley, Corsham, Bury St Edmonds, Pocklington, Bellaghy and Loughborough. Book early to ensure disappointment.

I’m delighted to be heading to the Words on the Water Festival in Keswick on 12th March for an evening of poetry and all the stuff. Tickets have gone on general sale today. They’re available here: www.wordsbythewaterkeswick.com/events/brian...