Made risotto tonight and used fresh tomato instead of tinned as I usually do. Holy moly what a difference!

My aim in life is to be as content as Charles is in this photo

I don't have any photos of my cats stretching because I'm too busy saying, 'ooh big stretch'

Any recommendations for recent good horror films available on Netflix or Sky?

Would any mutuals like this? Seems a shame to chuck it

Have a strong feeling #thefootball today is going to ruin my birthday weekend

It has been a good birthday. We solved the murder. And now some Schitts Creek and pizza

I don’t know if I want to buy the deranged curtains, even at a discount

So far this morning I've done a deep condition on my hair, a face mask and painted my nails. I'll make it downstairs at some point

I'm going to turn 47 tomorrow. I don't know how this has happened because in my head I'm not a day past 37.

Sorry I’m late. I had to scroll to my birth year on an app.

Had a dream where I was eating jam tarts and now I want jam tarts

A List of Things Said to Have Been Ruined by Women 🧵

For my birthday on Sat me and J are going to solve a crime. Or attempt to anyway, I didn't notice the difficulty rating when I picked this one 🫣

Random, but I'm listening.

Littlest cat is hiding in my wardrobe from fireworks and I've put the white noise machine on a rain storm for him.

J told his boss he needed to be home early because of fireworks scaring the pets. His boss is in the US and subsequently googled Guy Fawkes. The conversation between them trying to understand why this is still massively celebrated in England was hilarious. No, we don't know why either, America

A reminder that Classic FM start their bonfire night calming playlist for pets at 5pm

I shall name him Chungus

I have watched this about twenty times on a loop.

If you were not alive in the 90's, you don't realize that no one back then drank water. The idea of hydration didn't exist yet, if you were thirsty there was soda or some kind of very bright blue sugar water and that was it Every kid was extremely dehydrated and close to organ failure at all times

Our new vets (since we moved) are soooo lovely. Much different to the last place, which I thought was good at the time but in comparison not at all.

Also. Fuck off with your fucking fireworks. It's been every night for weeks

It's been a strange old weekend. For once I'm ready for the Monday reset. Spending this evening well with a jigsaw and roast pork. (One for relaxation and one for monching)

#SundayPixBooks Even my jigsaws have books

#SundayPixBooks Feat. a lot of Pratchett

Sigh.

Thinking about the last long haul flight we were on where the American lady in the row in front asked J not to use the touch screen in the seat back and then she and her companion fully reclined their seats for the entire 8 hours.

Be prepared. Thailand prep.

I like how you can use emojis to zoom in on a pig 🐖 🐷 🐽

My husband @mjowen174.bsky.social is very down. He’s struggling to find any work at the moment. He’s a brilliant writer and has written for Dangermouse, Private Eye and many more… If you need a writer have a look at his website and please repost. www.mathew-owen.co.uk Thank you

Everyone who thinks that because Halloween is now over it means that we can start celebrating Christmas can fuck right off.

got cold haribo sandwiches for lunch today

Ooh it's my birthday month!

Suppose I should get out of bed really

A friend told me he had been clearing out his gran’s house. The most amazing thing he found there was this knitted effigy of the man who had run off and abandoned my friend’s pregnant aunt. Into the effigy had been stuck twenty knitting needles: one for every year since the man had vanished.

I have a long haul flight next month and I feel like it's challenging me. "Oh do you think you can read books for 10 hours straight?" Yes, I absolutely do

Homemade murgh makhani for tea tonight. An absolute treat.

Us running out of sweets has coincided nicely with it starting to absolutely piss it down.

Why are people letting loads of loud fireworks off. it’s Halloween!! creep around silently like the dead, idiots

Please enjoy the Dutch word for a carrot

[Meredith Brooks voice] 🎶 I’m a witch In a coven Bake your child In my oven 🎶

Trying to rent a house when you have pets

Ryanair's social media team are about as funny as Mrs Brown's Boys

Had a Pigs Under Blankets sandwich from the coop. Very nice 8/10

God forbid a woman try to revive Victorian beauty standards 🙄

Standard morning. Got up, made a coffee, found a crow in the living room, striking theatrical poses and showing off to the other birds who have to make do with living outside. There is a story behind this...