So this is the scam DM received. Don’t be fooled, don’t click. Preemptive block is suggested.

Right, can someone please just confirm by reply that you can still see my account. I’ve had a dodgy looking DM suggesting I’m shadow banned.

Right. I’m on a train to London. Don’t let me down today Avanti. Timings to keep to. Shenanigans to be had.

I must confirm that I am neither the resurrection, nor am I the light.

This account smells like Toblerone and negronis.

Morning @littlecageling.bsky.social did the sleep work?

Today in ‘does LinkedIn even have a clue what I do?’ I’ve been fed a job opportunity as a non-exec director for the mayoral development corp that will be responsible for the regeneration of Old Trafford stadium and the surrounding area. Much as I’d love this, it’s a little above my pay grade…

So I’m normally proud of my poached eggs but one of today’s did not look so pretty…I am not to proud to admit that I am human too…

Question for my mechanically minded chums on here. Does unleaded petrol, stored in a proper plastic 5 litre container, degrade? I’ve found some from about 2 years (from 23’s karting days) and just realised that I could put it in the car. But not if it will have an adverse effect.

Narrator: But @starmansuperpants.bsky.social did not go to sleep, the tit.

Well, that Lily Allen album is a listen and a half isn’t it? A very good use of 45 mins. How can someone with an angelic voice like that spit such venom? (I know why, you don’t need to tell me, thanks)

I am too tired for slick advertising campaigns. Buy stuff, please? Ta. Keeping it real.

This joke is so dad, it just saw its daughter’s Halloween costume, and said thanks, I needed a handkerchief. Oh wait. That was real life in my house this morning…

10am. Ah hour of being sat at my desk. How many of the 7 things on today’s to do list have been ‘to done’? Zero. How many shitposts on here? Numerous. And therein lies my problem…

Spring forward. Sexyback (Has this been done before? It must have been done before. Fuck it. Send.)

Yes Brooksie! I’m on the Gavi, what are you drinking?

Watching the end of the second series of Love is Blind UK. Yes I know I’m weeks late. It’s the weddings. So far the first groom has failed to tie his tie properly, has short trousers no socks and slip on shoes. Even the bride’s father hasn’t done his tie properly. Am I wrong to be twitching rn?

🚨Middle aged post klaxon 🚨 Gardening day. Why is it that the only matching pair of gardening gloves has been out in the rain and is soggy as hell???

Friday night rules. @andrewblue23.bsky.social @stusteel80.bsky.social @bwianair.bsky.social and the rest of the negroni crew

Alright Gary. Or Sarah. Or Gary Sarah. Anyway, swift block on my part.

So well done to my company’s spam email catcher, for catching an email from *checks notes* my company. Slow hand clap.

I’ve just read this thread. Goes from this starting point, to buttplugs to washing machine wine to pinafore dresses. If anyone needed an actual representation of what Bluesky is all about.

Drop an old person you’re going to turn into in the *future *already here

I genuinely had no idea it was half term this week. Is this how I realise one of the benefits of the kids all being grown up now?

95 likes on yesterday’s breakfast. This place is crazy sometimes.

@andyparmo.co.uk happy birthday have a lovely day!!

You know it’s going to be a good day when you get back in the house after a dog walk and it starts to rain 5 mins later. And then you cook your breakfast and the eggs turn out like this

I have been touched by Dick…. @dickfarnsbarns.bsky.social @madamegothica.bsky.social

Guess which idiot for got to renew the car insurance, let it expire overnight and then, instead of them honouring the renewal price, got quoted 2.5x for a new premium 😫 Obvs went elsewhere but it’s still cost me £150 more than renewal premium was. Absolute eejit.

Just seen accent chat on the timeline. On Thurs I met someone at the conference who works for a competitor in the same role as me. We were chatting and it turns out we live within 5 miles of each other. She asked when I moved north. Couldn’t place my accent at all. I was quite pleased with that

A little earlier I wrote a post containing the word Arsenal. I then noticed a new follower. Click in to have a look. Some sort of Arsenal fan but worse than that, also a fan of AI. The story in 2 parts is always the same.

This morning Neil was comforted in knowing that he would blend into the background at the conference today, and could pretty much leave whenever he wanted. Later this morning Neil discovered there was a table plan and he was sat next to the UK President of the host company. No fast exit for me.

My head hurts. Too much loud music and mosh pits. Good job it’s a quiet day today…oh wait. All day conference about contractor networks. Kill. Me. Now.

Tonight it’s another gig. HotWax supporting Nova Twins. I’ve wanted to see both for a while so I’m really looking forward to it.

Got home safely. Wondered what to eat. 18 had pizza last night and left me half of hers. Cold pizza? Yes please!

Whilst I appreciate motion sensor lighting to ensure that electricity isn’t wasted, not even I sit on the toilet long enough for it to go off whilst I’m still there.

Bloke goes to the doctors. Doctor says "you need to stop wanking" Bloke says "why's that doctor?" Doctor says "so I can examine you properly"

Fuck yeah!

Definitely not gonna regret this later am I?

So I’m in a restaurant on my own like Billy no mates (yes that’s why I’m grumpy). There are two other tables dining alone. Both people in their late 50s early 60s. The gentleman has just come over to the lady, invited her to his table and now I’m the only one on my own 😭😭😭

About to eat my feelings away

I’ve been looking forward to today for over a week. And for various reasons it’s not gone to plan at all. At least I’ve got tomorrow to look forward to. Just another rollercoaster for me to navigate. Why is life never simple?

The 5 things that influenced me as a child thing. I’m not sure that many ‘big events’ shaped me in any way. The things that did are all rather small, personal things. And I’m not sure I even want to reflect on many of them. So I’ll keep my counsel on them.

Oh. My. God. I’m sooooo stuffed on Indian food. I think I took the phrase ‘all you can eat’ a little too literally

Well, this sure is fun, right? *checks clock for the billionth time tonight*

Eh? New follower just in. Following 11k, over 2k followers. And no content at all….

I’ve met nearly 25 people off SM in real life and nearly all of them were great. It includes some that I’m now incredibly close with and are considered true friends for life.

Go see him peeps (I can’t cos he picked a date I can’t make). But you should.

Please, if good television matters to you, repost or repackage this video until everyone you follow has seen it #televisionmatters