Heading out to do the last big shop before Christmas. I’ve sharpened my elbows. Wish me luck.

This isn’t just any rocky road. This is Delamere Forest Cafe rocky road and it’s to die for. Oh an home made DMR mince pies too.

As the big day approaches, I'm thinking how I'll be spending the day with a woman that society tells me I should, but that I have struggled to love. I'm sure there are reasons behind our tenuous relationship that aren't all her fault, but they're lost to time, or at the least not spoken of.

12 Bottles of Prosecco 5 Bottles of Red 7 Bottles of White Rum, Gin, Bourbon 47 Beers. That should mate Christmas Day with my mother more bearable. Probably.

My prediction. Massively over budget. Massively overpriced. Hugely underwhelming. Like one of those “Christmas Wonderlands” on a cocktail of speed and steroids.

Eating cold pizza for breakfast like some sort of deviant.

“There will be a visible police presence at collection time. This is out of an abundance of caution and is to provide reassurance to parents and children a like” JFC what a way to end the school year.

Sorry. No can do. If I ever stop laughing at farts then I think I’m probably done for.

Mico-Raucs school is on lockdown following a malicious phone message. Honestly. What the fuck is wrong with some people?

Dialling down the silly a notch for today. From the geek in me, to the geek in you. X

Watching Stranger Things from the beginning. Ready to binge S5 in one hit.

Just found that Christmas photo where I stuck my knob in an elf hat.

Emergency rum.

I didn't open a beer. I'm not sure who I am anymore.

Someone has blocked me twice, so I can only assume they unblocked me to block me again. People are odd aren't they?

And just like that, I’m banned from Marks & Spencer’s.

Lads of a certain age, what was your grumble mag of choice when you were growing up?

Cheers.

I fixed this for my colleague. She loves me.

Following the discovery of Carbon Nanotubes, (abbreviated to NT), Chinese scientists set about seeing if they could be made from other materials. They found that they could also be made of copper. To differentiate these they decided to preface the NT with the chemical symbol for copper. Cu...

Christmas. One girls fib about a one night stand that got WAAAAYYY out of hand.

What’s the difference between sprouts and bogeys? @magnumificent.bsky.social will eat bogeys.

Wasn't someone going on about Lord of the Rings covers bands? The Orcs have surprising taste in Christmas music it seems.

Back 1 day, already been blocked by someone. Still go it. Morning Mudafunsters. X

Oh Pissedmas tree, oh Pissedmas tree…

I am in Warrington. No this is not a test. I’m not happy about this.

Quick nativity, you're welcome

I would like to sate for absolute clarity, that although I am a Russ in Cheshire, I am not THAT Russ in Cheshire.

I fucking hate tinsel. It’s like someone made string shitter.

I guess I’m old and this means something different to me, but amphetamines for Christmas? Why didn’t I think of that before?!?

Because it's Christmas! "We're sorry about all of that nailed to a cross business" "If I eat a sprout, you gotta to eat a sprout, you gotta suffer too!"

The music in my head still doesn't match, but whatever. I'm back. Now where were we?

@stusteel80.bsky.social happy birthday old bean. Pip pip.

We have cake. 😋 Now I just need to keep it hidden until tonight.

#BobbkeHatClub submission. It’s dark. I’m wait in in the car for micro Raucous.

@lafeeverte.bsky.social you are no longer red? Also. 😍

Fucking brilliant.

I’m going to need to get a few more beers in…

I have eaten too many tacos. I can feel the expanding inside of me.

"I'm a night owl!" All owls are night owls. You a regular owl.

Oooooo. That’s a long one!

Wednesday. We’ve all been there eh lads? Morning Mudafunsters.

DMR: Just act normal. Don’t fuck about. Me:

Heard this on R1D and it's got stuck in my head.

New lad has started in the office. He looks a bit like David Caves (Jack Hodgson in Silent Witness). Office seems to be busier than normal for some reason. Mainly ladies...

Isn't it crazy that we have anger management and not stupidity management? I can't be mad, but you get to be dumb? Which is fucked, because 99% of the time I'm mad it's cos someone did something stupid that I need to sort.

I like both Hamilton and Leclerc, but I will never not feel schadenfreude for Ferrari's woes. You don't demand, expect, or deserve success. Your history is no indicator of you future. You work at it and encourage it, as both Mercedes and McLaren have shown. Stop copping tantrums and grow up.

This made me laugh. It should you too. Yes a serious issue, but humour is armour.

Today, there are no circles in image one and no square in image two, yet there they are...

Proposition for renaming the days of the week: Moansday Poosday Whingeday Turdsday Fuckitday Sackitday Sinday