The best thing the Grauniad has done in years tbh. Hilarious.

Me: Wow my first threesome Wife: It doesn't count Puppet: Why not?

Churches are, in normal circumstances, completely impossible to find with any sort of cursory search of public data of course.

This weekend is father's day, plus our twelfth wedding anniversary, plus the first anniversary of moving into the first house we've owned. Cheers!

Xander's Confirmed kill list: - 5 Sloworms - 2 Blackbirds - 1 Bluetit - 1 Rat - 3 Field mouse - 1 Vole - 1 Shrew - 1 Robin - Umpteen spiders - 1 Peacock butterfly - Bee Plus additional witnessed attempts: - 1 Blackbird - Me (many times) - 2 Pigeon - Every fly, moth or wasp that enters the house

So, SOMEONE came home without their collar... Well played, cat.

"Tell Jabba I'll get him his money..."

"hah using CAD as a sort of sophisticated version of playing the Sims, how fun...wtAF?!"

Oh wow not every day you discover your prime minister has a humiliation kink. www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c3...

Oh great, cue two months of more breathless reporting on Labour leadership issues.

Please no, I’m not ready to die yet

"Room 315 at the Hilton, tonight?"

Nigh-on a thousand replies, four hundred quotes and not one single like. Imagine that.

They've finally been able to collect him from the exhibition, frame him, and hang him... And he's perfect!

The. Actual. Fuck. "Keep winning boys or the wimmin gets it".

Users of pervert glasses should not feel stupid that they're wearing them: they should feel dirty and sordid and wrong for wearing them. They should feel shame.

Spent my lunch break using some hideously shitty chemicals to glue a patch onto the rubber dingh. My stomach feels like it's trying to turn itself inside out while my brain attempts to swell to twice a normal size. Turns out "the dining room" does not constitute a well-ventilated space. 😬

A bit niche, but this vid is magnificent. A guy tests the notion that particular (& very expensive) pieces of audio gear have distinct, “warm” tones. I mean, he really tests it. An unbelievable amount of effort has gone into this. Hugely watchable. His findings? 😬 youtu.be/K-vIeA7yy6Q?...

Oh sweet baby Jesus, to think these people* run governments. *by which I mean "Idiots" and literally nothing else

In an attempt to reduce the wildlife crime he commits, I have attached two additional bells to Xander's collar and he now jingles like some kind of culturally-insensitive fancy dress costume based on Arabian Nights. I don't know if it'll reduce his murdering but it's objectively very funny to hear.

I'll do it. I'll also need a huge blackboard on which to draw the vast array of more interesting shapes I think the players could make while they're trotting about.

With the hot weather coming again this weekend, please consider this a friendly reminder not to let your cat sun-bask for too long.

RIP Mark Rothko. You would have loved how the hydrogen peroxide bleach is only turning the Reflecting Pool blue around the perimeter

@un-ness-assary.bsky.social please tell me you didn't skinny-dip in the sacred Monet ponds?!

#Football people: is it just me or is there something about the way the game is televised thesedays (camera angles, pitch lighting, etc?) that makes it harder to gauge where the ball is going when it's kicked high or across the pitch?

Other half has taken kiddo to cubs and will be assisting with their pond dipping tonight. This means I have maybe 90 rare, uninterrupted, evening minutes with Xander. We are using it wisely... Zzzz!

What do we reckon - if he finds a younger blonde to hook up with, will she be Bunnie VS or Bunnie VSOP?

I cannot. Sincerely, Al

CLEARLY Juliet should wake up to discover Romeo had died and then immediately console herself by adopting a stray cay. The fact that the play isn't written like this just goes to show what an absolute hack Shakespeare was.

Little known fact that John Snow's insistence that his initial thesis was correct led to several hundred preventable deaths, but did provide an important boost to the east end's troubled milliners.

The strength of will required to give that, completely deadpan... My god. Amazing.

"The government said it will be BANNED because it is a user-to-user platform whose purpose is to enable social interaction"

Nathan here is quite the astute reader of people and he says you're all a bunch of weirdos here on Bluesky dot app.

I have been back on terra firma for 20 hours now and it would behove the floor to start acting like it's solid ground and stop this wibbly wobbly shite it's pulling.

The capybara She squeezed out of her cage Yes YES The capybara is out! GETCHU SOME WATERCRESS, SAMBA!

A young capybara named Samba escaped from out nearest zoo a couple months back & much fuss was made in the local press. The zoo had a stall at a local festival a few weeks ago, which we saw them at. We wandered by and the staff came over to chat, so naturally, it gave me *great* pleasure to ask...

You can’t be in a bad mood when you spend three hours printing joy!

this killed me

Is very important to colour-coordinate. This season, mustard is in. #Afloat

Snaaaaaaaakes!

Thanks to the wind starting off in the wrong direction and then getting even wronger as the journey progressed, a 20km journey became 40km, and 5.5hrs. Knackered!

Nice out.

It is half four and I am incredibly wide awake and also the boat is resting on the bottom with like a 10' angle on her and it is incredibly disconcerting. Moar water pls.

Buy one; I did and I can confirm Kate makes gorgeous books for gorgeous nerds.

Night, reprobates.

Can't believe I follow a murderer on Bluesky dot app.

👨‍🍳🤌💋

As friendly fire goes, this is much better than a simple brick to the balls. 110/10, no notes.

Anyone know how to activate the chocolate setting? Mine insists on bringing rodentia and fledglings and I'd like get the sweet treats instead.

Good morning to everyone, but especially to all the cougars, for today is their special day! To celebrate National Cougar Day, here is an illustration of a cougar from the book 'Animated Nature' (1828) by Georges-Louis Leclerc. 📷 Reserve 590 BUF #NationalCougarDay #CougarDay #RareBooks