Couldn't resist. That's not my Booky Wook.

Arrived about 40m late. Whoops.

"that didn't hurt, did it" "...a little bit" Fucking lol. And the absolute self-restraint shown in letting Brand flail through his booky wooky for a whole minute... Who knew he had it in him. Wow.

bobcat spring #traditionalart #felines #bobcat

Citroen C1. It was like being strapped to a motorised rollerskate. Loud, so many rattles, an engine that was more wheezy than an ant with COPD and just about as nippy. SO glad it was just a courtesy car for a day!

Bungle, the dating app.

I almost used the story in my autism assessment as an example of me missing social cues but first I wondered if "scootching over against morning wood" is even a commonly recognised social cue...

Man gets cancer and the only way he can afford treatment is by winning a boxing match against the cast of Fight Club. Breaking Brad.

This thread is adorable. My personal record for an 'oblivious' moment: when crashing at a friend's house for the w/end we shared the single bed (hint one). In the morning, I had to scootch back against the wall to avoid... morning biology... being too apparent. Friend scooted after me. Hint two.

Annoyed I missed Troy by so much, 10 year old me would have nailed that right through the eye for three perfect rounds. Still, I'll take that. www.maptap.gg April 24 100🎯 100🎯 91🎉 91🎉 89🎉 Final score: 922

The sticky toffee pudding guy is so funny

This of course is a big reason to reject digital ID full stop.

Oh shit, Limerick has been partitioned... 😬😬

This is NOT what Catholics and Protestants are about. They're about *opens history book* uh oh *Frantically starts flipping though pages* uh oh. oh no. no no no. uh oh

This is your annual reminder that the 'dragon' St George killed was two feet long, an obligate herbivore, and blind in one eye.

Allergic to latex? Want to use all-natural methods of contraception? Why not try CooCup(tm), the all-new prophylactic made from 100% Highland Coo hair by the coos themselves. Simply wear, enjoy, rinse and repeat! (Currently available in small only)

Used clearsky, I think for the first time, to see if I was on any blocklists (á la the anti-AI / Why drama going on today). Discovered that not only I am not on a load of blocklists, but instead appear on a bunch of moot-curated feeds for positive reasons and was genuinely touched. (You weirdos x)

I wish to complain to the manager of Bluesky: when I make a terrible pun I get people going "Alex!" in the mentions and yet no-one is doing this to Nick 😤 ...Probably because his name is Nick and not Alex.

It's all jargon. Sailors revel in it. Police it, even. You can't even call it the "boat trail" thesedays, 'coz of wake.

Things that have arrived from the chandlery today: friction rings for splicing into dyneema line. Fids, for opening dyneema line. A needle, for pulling dyneema line through splices. A ceramic knife, for cutting dyneema line. Things that have not arrived: 30m of dyneema line.

Wordle 1,768 3/6 ⬛🟦⬛🟧🟦 🟧⬛🟦🟧🟦 🟧🟧🟧🟧🟧 Pleasing.

Re marine mammal economics: I can confirm that in the run-up to the 2008 financial crash, the dolphins in the Straight of Gibraltar were doing very well for themselves indeed.

'you with glasses' Always in glasses, almost never in a suit: So here's me, circa this time two years ago, at a launch event in London for a client's rollout across the city's mental health trusts. (5am starts don't agree with me)

Type 4: Wants to strangle a horse (á la @brainmage.bsky.social )

This Is Just To Say I have turned off the AI features that were in the update and which you were probably hoping to monetize Fuck you they were stupid so unnecessary and so annoying

God forbid a child needs a phone to help with their safeguarding.

@pyramidhead76.bsky.social just realised I'd not seen Steph & Ruby around in a while - looks like she's deactivated. If you're (or anyone else seeing this) is in touch outside of Bsky, please consider passing on my regards - hope they're both doing okay.

Xander, he say: why watch TV when can watch cat?

Mmmmm free project boats with every nature walk!

how is this literally happening in real life

Attempted to talk someone into putting a knife down. It was going well and was just getting ready to say "put it on the floor", when the person with me did exactly what we were both trained not to do: stepped forward & tried to grab it from the person holding it. In the ensuing tussle, I was cut.

NOT A BIG STRETCH JUST BIG LIE

Too much cat picture? No. Obviously not.

9yr old when I made this joke in front of her: "that's not a painting, look, it's breathing" Absolutely nothing gets past her.

Got a pale, plain cat? Try adding black splodges for visual interest.

Obviously I don't wish for any species to be wiped out as a result of anthropogenic climate change but if it kills the individual Great Tit who loudly belows his love songs right outside our bedroom window at 5am, well, that would be FUCKING GREAT.

Spending Sunday afternoon lying in the sunshine on the lawn with a little cat for company, what could be nicer?!

In this house, cats are not allowed to fish in the bath. The cat:

Quoth the raven 'Clek. Clek. Gulp. Gnorrrrp.'

Exceedingly lucky guess on number five today! www.maptap.gg April 19 92👑 94🏆 93👑 97🏅 93👑 Final score: 942

This election cycle is gonna see unprecedented levels of posh people telling middle class people how working class people feel about immigration.

Watching the local dredger leave was a very good reminder of just how small our boat is! Had the VHF on and kiddo enjoyed the crew's update to the harbourmaster that [they] "are departing now, constrained by draught 3m, leaving to the Solent to do dredging... stuff".

Look, a piece of cheese

DO YOU EAT I P C L E U B M O S X IF NOT * * * * * YOU SHOULD THEY ARE **** DELICIOUS ****

If Don Draper was a medium-sized horse but also, still a very successful advertising exec.

"Could you direct me to the loo". No-one hires a candidate sat in their own piss.

About to join my second meeting of the week with the same client and I have a horrible suspicion I was wearing this same shirt on Wednesday as well so now I have subtly work it into conversation that I have a teeshirt on underneath the flannel to make it clear I'm not completely gross.

Not the best, technically, but the best in the sense of it being my favourite... Xander's first weekend with us, I woke from a little afternoon nap on sofa to find he'd joined me 😭🥰😭😍