We don't reeeaaallllly know which character he's playing

Cinemas are a ripoff

Just saw an American on tiktok describe the world cup as "soccer coachella"

New look at Snapchat’s Specs AR glasses • Costs $2195

Tonight I feel.........Paraguayan

"Well, this piece is called 'Lick My Love Pump'"

New headliner announced for the Freedom 250 concert

The new Amazon 007, "A Prompt For a Kill" "True biological male, James Bond, must prevent W.O.K.E, an evil Marxist terror organisation, from assassinating beloved, visionary billionaires, such as Beff Jizzos, who plan to build an AI data centre that will benefit all, or at least some, of mankind"

Bit harsh for shoplifting

Crossover Episode

"Ross, why did you need to replicate the same sandwich 47 times? The engineering crew won't take it from the fridge! They can make their own!" #StarTrek

Poirot fans once the new casting is revealed

There’s one letter too many in that title.

Look Mum No Points

Sign of the times Toby Melville/ @reuters.com

Idea for World Cup opening ceremony: Donald Trump very, very slowly dribbles the ball towards the goal, as Harald Schumacher thunders towards him.

John Spencer v Kirk Stevens. Last 16, Crucible Theatre, Sheffield 1980.

*Sean Connery voice

That explains the dubious stains in the foyer

There should also be a 2026 edit of *A View to a Kill* where James Bond finds out about the plot to destroy Silicon Valley, thinks for a moment, and then wanders off, hands in pockets, whistling.

A colleague didn’t recognise me in my glasses so I tried to joke “I’m Clark Kent” but accidentally declared “I’m Ken Clarke”

Did somebody say bev regino?

"Tom, you should be really careful how you say the word BOSH"

You can tell tonight's Michael McIntyre show is a repeat with the words, "Who doesn't love this man?.....GINO D'ACAMPO!"

Hot Chocolate first draft was way off

Supergrass lead singer #TOTP

over on nextdoor a guy named darryl has told me i'm a bad mother because i taught my three year old to "body shame" cybertrucks

See yer da finally went on that holiday of a lifetime

“And while we’re at it, Ted Cruz is definitely not the Zodiac Killer.”

“Just read another story about me being locked in attick, completely false.”

"I mean, I'm not on the child protection register......YET!"

If you see this drop a hero with a sword

Legitimately, give me a period-piece sequel to this. Give me the fallout of Superman's secret identity being outed as part of the Watergate scandal. I am ITCHING to read this story.