The White House's new McDonald's™ Epstein™ Ballroom™ appears to have been designed on free software.

I don't know how many more ways to say "you need to start fucking listening to the people who warned you that exactly this would happen." LLM/GPT-type "AI" recreate patterns in pursuit of matching statistical correlations on which they're trained. They make shit up. Do Not. Put this. In healthcare

It’s the oddest things these days that make me feel good about humanity.

New Tindr profile just dropped

The piss tank on the ISS is now 32% full.

He’s designing the ballroom with AI isn’t he www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

Subtle 🤣

Suddenly feel quite patriotic. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

The home of the O'Donovan family is being used as a polling station in Coolmoyne, Co Tipperary. Around 250 people are eligible to vote at the house and after they cast their ballot, they will be treated to a cup of tea, a slice of apple or rhubarb tart, or a scone | More: rte.ie/b/1540324

The evergreen tweet.

It's Friday! You've made it through the week. You deserve an eel. don't you? Come on...don't be shy. You know you do. Go ahead...take one from the tub. You've earned it.

look I do corruptions 12 hours a day every day you can’t expect me to answer a question about one of them

Having both started coding and wearing glasses when I was very young, I can say with confidence that these can reliably be disrupted by punching their wearers in the face. Depending on the version of the firmware, it may take more than once.

A moth got into the shelter tonight and it was the event of the season.

You might say this will, among other problems, look weirdly lopsided, but I think the obvious implication is he's totally planning to do the West Wing next.

"You, boy - what day is it?" #WorldTripeDay 24 October 2025

This morning's HuffPost UK splash ...

Never forget that time Sam Neill gave a quote about murder that was so beautifully kabonkers, we all assumed it was a Clickhole bit initially

No one does horror like the folks at the Onion back in the day doing Clickhole

oooh no a kid swore in the playground and the dad yelled "reuben!" and reuben followed up with increasingly racist profanities and now everyone's just staring at the dad and the dad is like

i NEED to know the backstory here

Updating my LEGO White House

I was thinking exactly this when I saw them trying to keep the dust down with a couple of hoses

Hey girl, can I be your

sir, a second tattoo has just hit the Senate candidate from Maine

Sunday President diarrheas on the country, Monday President bulldozes White House, Tuesday President steals $230 million, Wednesday President... fucks a horse? Let's see if he fucks a horse.

Guy running for office with knuckle tattoos that say “NOT A NAZI” but the ink on the right hand is visibly newer

This is a golden age for stupid people with shitty ideas

the Muppets have been real quiet since the Louvre heist

Morning.

‘tis hammer time

whole thing is ruinous, it's great

maybe she's born with it maybe its ketamine

Let's cross the street. Yes I see that bus coming, but we have right of way. Of course it'll stop. Oh please, why on earth would Sandra Bullock be driving a bus

You gotta imagine how weird it felt to drive that backhoe today just looking back at everybody going “you sure about this everybody’s sure about this?”

If we make it illegal to steal paintings from the Louvre then the entire industry will be unsustainable

Heard about the Louvre jewel heist and my first thought was “finally, some good old fashioned normal crime”

Maggie’s woke now lads.

international journalists asking the french police why they are having a two hour lunch while the thieves are out there and the police explaining the thieves are likely also french so will also be having a two hour lunch

standing on the white cliffs of dover chanting They Robbed You With A Ladder, Like Some Shit From Blackadder, You Tried To Stop The Looters, They Got Away On Scooters

Films: We need to hack a keycard, obtained by seducing one of the guards. We then need to drop in from the skylight after jumping from a plane, and dodge all of the lasers and traps, carefully switching the jewels for fakes that weigh the same to avoid tripping the alarm. Real life:

[returning from time travel] “ok it’s done. I killed baby hitler” -wtf??? you killed a baby?!?! “uhh yeah it was hitler… you know, the dude who started the holocaust” -the what?

"My dog does magic tricks." "Really? What breed is he?" "He's a labracadabrador."

My 14-year-old self would never have guessed that, in 50 years' time, all the world's music would be available at the click of a button, you'd navigate the globe by carrying a tiny computer around in your pocket, and the US President would post a video of himself shitting over American citizens.

Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████

A bleak dystopia where Sharia law predominates, while economic and cultural divisions mean that the different communities live parallel, segregated lives. Oh, wait, that’s Dubai …