It's Wednesday, and you deserve a nice map. So here: this is John Norden's "Civitas Londini", a panoramic view of the city from 1600. Lovely, no? "But SEH!" I hear you say. "What's this to do with eels?" Well. This is the first image of the city to show the Dutch eel ships! Can you find them? 🗃️🧪

Eels were everywhere in pre-modern England. So if you wanted to explain something, you might put it in eel terms! Were the Apostles naturally gifted speakers? No! said Richard Whitlock in 1654. Before they met Jesus, they were "fitter to catch Eeles than Soules." Aposteels, yo. 🗃️🧪

Eels were everywhere in pre-modern England. So if you wanted to explain something, you might put it in eel terms! Were the Apostles naturally gifted speakers? No! said Richard Whitlock in 1654. Before they met Jesus, they were "fitter to catch Eeles than Soules." Aposteels, yo. 🗃️🧪

A drawing from today. A toothsome fish. Perhaps a dragon fish.

“Let’s talk about eels!”

Do you have a favorite eel metaphor? Winston Churchill did! He often said politicians must get used to criticism, "Just as eels are used to skinning," And he said Londoners would "get used to [the Blitz]. Eels get used to skinning." Eels...get used to being flayed? Wut? 1/9

“Let’s talk about eels!”

Do you have a favorite eel metaphor? Winston Churchill did! He often said politicians must get used to criticism, "Just as eels are used to skinning," And he said Londoners would "get used to [the Blitz]. Eels get used to skinning." Eels...get used to being flayed? Wut? 1/9

If Vandals are destroying the Reflecting Pool, then it stands to reason that the East Wing of the White House was sacked by Ostrogoths.

A drawing from this evening: a derpy little bird.

It's Father's Day! As somebody who both has a father, and is a father, I feel like I'm right in my sweet spot today. So here are three poems of mine (with drawings!) that touch on both sides of that equation:

It's Father's Day! As somebody who both has a father, and is a father, I feel like I'm right in my sweet spot today. So here are three poems of mine (with drawings!) that touch on both sides of that equation:

Coffee filters: important

At a used bookstore this afternoon, I saw this gem of a book cover. The Elvis-haired rat really makes it. And no…I didn’t buy it. I left it for others to appreciate.

A drawing from this evening: a derpy little bird.

At a used bookstore this afternoon, I saw this gem of a book cover. The Elvis-haired rat really makes it. And no…I didn’t buy it. I left it for others to appreciate.

Oh, I've heard of it! And if you've followed me for any length of time, you have too! But here's a rather good article about it

A poem and drawing, both recent. I didn't do them to go together, but they fit well.

A poem and drawing, both recent. I didn't do them to go together, but they fit well.

Know someone suffering from fits? Well, here's a cure from 17th C. polymath Kenelm Digby: Trim their nails & put the trimmings in a linen bag tied to the neck of a live eel in water. The eel dies, & the person will be cured! NB: don't let your dog eat the eel. It'll die, too. 🗃️🧪

Know someone suffering from fits? Well, here's a cure from 17th C. polymath Kenelm Digby: Trim their nails & put the trimmings in a linen bag tied to the neck of a live eel in water. The eel dies, & the person will be cured! NB: don't let your dog eat the eel. It'll die, too. 🗃️🧪

Eels used to be big business in London. But how big? In the 19th C. the city imported 1.6 million lbs. of eels every year. And they were almost all "Dutch Eels." 1.5 million lbs. of those eels came from the Dutch, who sold them live from ships anchored in the Thames. 1/3 🗃️🧪

Eels used to be big business in London. But how big? In the 19th C. the city imported 1.6 million lbs. of eels every year. And they were almost all "Dutch Eels." 1.5 million lbs. of those eels came from the Dutch, who sold them live from ships anchored in the Thames. 1/3 🗃️🧪

I don’t always know what I’ve drawn, but this one feels like a Siren.

I don’t always know what I’ve drawn, but this one feels like a Siren.

Sometimes the food goes bad before you use it. Then what? Just don't be like Salamon Salamon! In 1390, the London fishmonger was charged w/ hiding his bad eels in someone else's cellar. This was his second offense: earlier he was caught slipping rotting eels into a local well! 🗃️🧪

Eel history! Calms the nerves, man.

Sometimes the food goes bad before you use it. Then what? Just don't be like Salamon Salamon! In 1390, the London fishmonger was charged w/ hiding his bad eels in someone else's cellar. This was his second offense: earlier he was caught slipping rotting eels into a local well! 🗃️🧪

Eels are classic. And also classical! In fact, they're the only fish mentioned by name in Homer's Iliad. In Book 21, Achilles kills a Trojan in the River Scamander. Like ya do. And immediately, the eels begin to nibble on the dead man's kidneys. Nibble. 'Cause eels are dainty. 🗃️🧪

Eels are classic. And also classical! In fact, they're the only fish mentioned by name in Homer's Iliad. In Book 21, Achilles kills a Trojan in the River Scamander. Like ya do. And immediately, the eels begin to nibble on the dead man's kidneys. Nibble. 'Cause eels are dainty. 🗃️🧪

Hey...I know that guy!

In 1257 Henry III needed supplies for a party, so he wrote his sheriff of Cambridgeshire & told him to send 1 crane, 4 peacocks, 4 swans, & a whole lot of eels. The sheriff had to pay for this himself, but could claim reimbursement up £15 15s 10d. Beyond that, he was on his own. 🗃️🧪

In 1257 Henry III needed supplies for a party, so he wrote his sheriff of Cambridgeshire & told him to send 1 crane, 4 peacocks, 4 swans, & a whole lot of eels. The sheriff had to pay for this himself, but could claim reimbursement up £15 15s 10d. Beyond that, he was on his own. 🗃️🧪

Hey...I know that guy!

Usually job ads aren’t quite this honest.

It's Friday, & I want to send you into the weekend right. So... This is Brainheart, the mascot for a short-lived ad campaign for Schreiner University, c. 2004. Some well-paid consulting firm took the school's motto of educating hearts & minds in a truly cursed direction.

It's Friday, & I want to send you into the weekend right. So... This is Brainheart, the mascot for a short-lived ad campaign for Schreiner University, c. 2004. Some well-paid consulting firm took the school's motto of educating hearts & minds in a truly cursed direction.

Do people give you eels when you come to visit? If not...you're doing it wrong! In the 16th C., bishops and other visiting dignitaries to Lincoln often got a gift of fish from the city. This always included 2-3 large roasting eels, & then some other fish (pike, bream, or tench). 🗃️🧪

Do people give you eels when you come to visit? If not...you're doing it wrong! In the 16th C., bishops and other visiting dignitaries to Lincoln often got a gift of fish from the city. This always included 2-3 large roasting eels, & then some other fish (pike, bream, or tench). 🗃️🧪

TFW you are trying to think of the word “provoke” but your brain is stuck on “provokitate.”

I take pride in my alt-text, but some is better than others. This one…this is one of my favorites.

A drawing from today. I’m not really sure what it is, tho. Perhaps a tree shaped by the winds. Or, if you turn it in its side, maybe it’s the snout of an alligator, dripping with Spanish moss.

Yeah, eel-rents are cool. But have your tried demanding rent in fishing gear? Essex landlord John de Boys did. His property paid a yearly rent that included (among other things) 7 eel spears. When he died in 1340 the rent went to his wife. Who was in need of a new...umm...eel. 🗃️🧪

Yeah, eel-rents are cool. But have your tried demanding rent in fishing gear? Essex landlord John de Boys did. His property paid a yearly rent that included (among other things) 7 eel spears. When he died in 1340 the rent went to his wife. Who was in need of a new...umm...eel. 🗃️🧪

We don’t usually see each other’s headers. Here’s mine. It’s pretty on-point. Quote-skeet with yours (if you feel like it).

Haircut day!

Eels are critically endangered at this point. But there used to be huge numbers of them in the waters. How many? In 1779, Thomas Carnan wrote that there was a river in Tweedale where so many eels came downstream every August that they "overthrow the people who go to catch them. 🗃️🧪

Eels are critically endangered at this point. But there used to be huge numbers of them in the waters. How many? In 1779, Thomas Carnan wrote that there was a river in Tweedale where so many eels came downstream every August that they "overthrow the people who go to catch them. 🗃️🧪

Will the eels you ordered will get to you? Don't be so sure. In 1392 merchants from York and Nottingham purchased a shipment of eels from Holland, only to have it seized at sea by Scottish pirates. The merchants complained loudly to the king. But they never got their eels back. 🗃️🧪

Will the eels you ordered will get to you? Don't be so sure. In 1392 merchants from York and Nottingham purchased a shipment of eels from Holland, only to have it seized at sea by Scottish pirates. The merchants complained loudly to the king. But they never got their eels back. 🗃️🧪