If Sun-, Mon-, or Tues- the -day do be, The game is on Peacock or perhaps N- and/or ABC; If Wednesday has come round again, 'Tis wise to check ESPN; Yet if it be long weekend time, Search Disney's sports verticals, but first try searching Prime

wemby is ushering in the return of the stiff. chris dudley-esque dudes about to make two million per foul.

So cool that whenever someone asks the president, “did you eat the Lindbergh baby” he’s like, “no but I’d be allowed to, I have the right to, I might do it later”

Theo Von: "Will I see you again?" ESPN's Jess Sims: "I hope not"

We all know the truth about what happened to Amelia Earhart and now they’re finally gonna admit it.

"Please release the Amelia Earhart files. I am not a crackpot."

An economy that is turning towards almost exclusively graft, speculation, fraud and gambling to obtain wealth, which is basically what we currently have, is going to only create more conditions that lead to social isolation and violence.

Update: Civil War cancelled due to shooter being demographically uncooperative

A take: Too Online is a political ideology

My hot take is that boob jobs shouldn't be gender affirming care and that we shouldn't gatekeep having a giant, glorious set of tits

i understand that our attention is divided as a nation but i do need everyone to know that henry winkler is on a fishing trip

seems like this would be a bad time to have your federal law enforcement agencies all tasked with chasing down brown toddlers

Yep that’s the only explanation as to why the transition to open fascism was so seamless. We had tirelessly & uncritically built a domestic army that had already spent decades providing us with empirical violent evidence that they hate us so all they needed to do was install the right leader.

"Harvard can't use race as a factor in admissions, but ICE can use race as a factor in detentions" is a retrenchment essentially to a pre-Civil War understanding of the Constitution. It's vanishingly few steps removed from "Latinos have no rights which the white man is bound to respect."

Let’s say it plain: the Supreme Court of the United States endorsed racial profiling today.

Editor: You get that illustration of the box of Grape Nuts and the gentleman? Illustrator: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked. Editor: what.

The new history books will make no mention of slavery but will have like three chapters on Michael Vick.

its 2026. the only legal jobs are ICE agent, AI server farm maintenance, and beef tallow renderer

Pope Leo has announced the canonization of the first “millennial saint”: the balloon boy, who made it all the way to heaven in that damn thing

I am a hypermasculine and extremely powerful alpha male. As such my greatest fears are seed oils, rainbows, people who don't look like me being on TV, and preventative medicine. I cannot explain any of these fears and consider that to be your fault.

Important economic advice for these troubled times,

So long as there is a stock market and billionaires, corporations will behave as sociopaths.

College football isn’t for being a fan of a team, it’s for hating several teams for inscrutable reasons

When your Daddy paid for you to go to Alabama and then paid for you to fly to Florida for the game but your team lost and it's the first time in your life you didn't get what you wanted

he's not dead, guys. maybe loomer got a tongue ring and he took the weekend, who knows

A stoner Vampire hunter horror-comedy called High Stakes

*chrissie hynde voice*

OH MY GOD

what Americans seem to want is to be able to buy whatever product they want without government interference but also an ironclad guarantee that all store-sold products are safe, and we just need to recognize that these are contradictory ideas and we're gonna have to make people mad about the former

IT WAS NOT SAFE FOR ME TO LEAVE MY HOUSE WITHOUT ID BEFORE TRUMP. I see why assholes type in all caps. It is kind of satisfying.

what donald trump wants more than anything is video of american soldiers gunning down american citizens

The dog whistles from DHS are blaring foghorns at this point

you have my vote, Andrew Cuomo!

Me and the family when the delivery drone arrives

If I have to explain to you why it's a bad idea to use a machine that makes shit up 15-80% of the time AND destroys the environment AND contributes to rising fascism and genocide AND puts brilliant skillful creatives out of work by stealing their work, then we're already speaking different languages

Also worth noting: They’re killing the media industry *first*. Techbros have been very clear that their goal is to put as many people out of work as possible. This is nothing more or less than an attack by the 1% upon the rest of us that, if left unchecked, will crash the global economy.

it’s almost like Trump was just lying about a bunch of shit to see what resonated with the rubes and the plan was to do project 2025 stuff all along if only it had been possible for news orgs to do something other than take his bullshit at face value during the campaign alas

the position of the roberts court is both that racism isn’t real and that the constitution mandates a colorblindness so strict that it neither recognizes nor can act on social inequalities. incidentally, this is essentially the court’s holding in plessy v. ferguson.

“The president cut your health care so he could build himself a golden ballroom” is a pretty easy message to sell

THE MACCOON "You wouldn't survive a quarter in Ypsilanti."

absolutely tremendous use of the “historic motor vehicle” license plate I spotted today

My "that girl forced into prostitution was mine, stolen from me by my friend, the sex abuse criminal Jeffrey Epstein" t-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

If a US politician, especially from the south, casually mentioning their faith is a red line for you then I hope you’re prepared to never support a wining candidate you’re entire life

I saw a woman commenting positively on the closure of planned parenthood locations in Houston and her instagram profile read along the lines of “Holly Something Bond-Slave to Christ CA=>TX” and I realized how much west coast conservatives are the reason Texas is the way it is.

¡pinche neck nerve!

This is what I’m saying!

"You wouldn't survive one quarter in Ypsilanti" is one of the most beautiful sentences in the English language.