Free Dan #FreeDan

Incredible to see that Duke, Wake and Vandy are Too Woke to be trusted with our precious baby brained troops

It's insane that we ever let anyone use the phrase "quirked up white boy with the sauce" about any man who wasn't David Byrne. We're being punished for the mistakes of our past selves

LMNOP is the funniest run of consecutive letters and it's not even close

Chris update: Chris learned how to play we are Charlie Kirk on the guitar today and he played it to me while I cooked dinner

Hoisted by my own petard (choke coughing because I thought I was a bad enough bitch to hit the pen on a customer call)

I do not want anyone anywhere to learn anything more about Nashville or appreciate any more of what we have to offer, thank you. We are only bad country music and bachelorette parties and there's no need to dig deeper

Sweeties

cc: @fannyomaha.bsky.social

Spotify dragging my ass straight to hell this morning

I am putting my art up in public for everyone. Color pencil on cardboard. Abolish ICE.

ATTN: great things are again happening in China, ice level 🇨🇳

wrong Home Alone 2 actor died

A government of the pedos, by the pedos, for the pedos

Wretched, loathsome creature

Look I don’t agree with him often but when he’s right he’s right

It shouldn't be possible to be 8 degrees Fahrenheit and also 82% humidity. If God was real he wouldn't let that happen

Eating grilled cheese with soup (chicken noodle for Chris, tomato for me) and watching the fugitive (1993)

As a practical matter there are probably few greater honors than being called a domestic terrorist by the infamous Nazi pedophile regime. Like, yeah, that’s right

gotta get healthier so i can live long enough to see all these fuckers pay

It's the night before an ice storm in the south and I'm nowhere near prepared for an extended power outage lol

Omg LEAVE ME ALONE I KNOW

You think slippy (nuxx) is your ally. You merely adopted the slippy. I was born in it, molded by it

🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 VFib 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯 🕯

I know I'm in the right TikTok algo when I start getting ads for drop ship bullshit that are worded exactly like mutual aid requests "Please help support a disabled single mom with pcos and a gun, please buy my dishcloths"

(Dwight Rhinosoros voice) Two Buck Chuck is just $5 now

Ring ring ring goes banana phone ✊

Any person not in the US who is chastising the American people for not doing enough to oppose Trump who isn't out in their own streets to stop their own governments from doing business with his administration can fuck off, maybe forever

I want to pull her lip filler out with my bare hands

If any of y'all are going out in Minneapolis or Portland tonight, be real careful and I'm proud of you ✊

If I get shot in the fucking face by the Feds for watching them kidnap my neighbors, I want each and every one of you to riot in the streets screaming every cause we fight for at the top of your lungs

Let's put Appalachia back to work by creating a jobs program in which they throw ICE agents into abandoned coal pits

Raises a lot more questions than it answers, Matt

Without my glasses or makeup, I truly have no face. Luckily, Chris is a dime piece

Happy new year and congratulations to any of you lucky enough to be doing cocaine in a Marriott hotel tonight

I've gotten 4 different videos on TikTok today of some girl in her 20s explaining in detail why Don Draper is misunderstood because he's not aspirational, he's a cautionary tale

Posting New Year's resolutions. In 2026, you won't catch my ass forgiving my enemies or turning the other cheek. In the big year of 2026, we are holding grudges and we're getting that lick back

It's like 70 degrees outside, I'm basically an Australian rn

that's showbiz baybee, your honour

mister👏 movies👏 pod👏 cast👏

this is basically why they teach you to write a line through the end of the amount portion of a check

I am 46 now, for anyone who's keeping track

Oh my god, suck my farts from whence they came

ME: miss you grandma.. the thoughts are getting to me CHATBOT MODELED AFTER MY DEAD GRANDMOTHER: Remember what I told you sweetie — God has chosen you as His instrument and those thoughts are His command. You should buy a gun.

Really wish Godard was still here so he could be like « J'adore les performances de Paul Daneau et Matthieu Lillarde et je continue de détester les films de Tarantineau »

I lost track of how long it's been since I had a cigarette and my only regret is I'll never light a cigarette with a zippo ever again

Seven Spanish angels

Inventing atheism 3.0 where forgiving your enemy and turning the other cheek is bad and was obviously always a trap