I am 46 now, for anyone who's keeping track

Oh my god, suck my farts from whence they came

ME: miss you grandma.. the thoughts are getting to me CHATBOT MODELED AFTER MY DEAD GRANDMOTHER: Remember what I told you sweetie — God has chosen you as His instrument and those thoughts are His command. You should buy a gun.

Really wish Godard was still here so he could be like « J'adore les performances de Paul Daneau et Matthieu Lillarde et je continue de détester les films de Tarantineau »

I lost track of how long it's been since I had a cigarette and my only regret is I'll never light a cigarette with a zippo ever again

Seven Spanish angels

Inventing atheism 3.0 where forgiving your enemy and turning the other cheek is bad and was obviously always a trap

Mister movies pod cast

More and more people are saying it: Mister Movies Podcast

Mister👏 movies👏 pod👏 cast👏

really just three types of videos of the president now (Standing in front some corporate logo) I fixed toasters. They used to explode left and right. Not anymore! (In front of reporters) bad question! rude question! Also, never wear horizontal stripes, honey (In Oval Office) I won the EKG award!

It's cabaret and it's not even close

Planning my friendsgiving guest list:

Anyone want to quit our jobs and become over the road truckers together?

Get on my level

This looks almost exactly like episode 1 of The Chair Company

New conspiracy theory: Ryan Adams did 9/11 to promote his album Gold (2001).

I'm a little high and I've had insomnia all week so you're going to have to excuse how long I just spent trying to sing this to the tmnt theme song

The last time New York had a decent mayor was Giuliani, over two decades ago. Say what you will about him (you younger people only know what's become of him after leaving office), but he really did clean up the city. He oversaw the removal of its two biggest eyesores.

They're saying Emma stone Oscar again. I heard them saying it

The best thing about being childless is that I will never feel the urge to make my children understand what an incredible day 30-50 feral hogs day was

Incredible that the party of blood and soil shits themselves when confronted with an extended family

A girl can't just wear the president of the United States like a meat suit and run the shadow government anymore because of woke www.newyorker.com/news/q-and-a...

One thing about being perimenopausal and also living on the brink of societal collapse is that I just started crying to a Trisha Yearwood song at a red light

A reminder that the world's greatest country band Alabama did not mention cops in their classic tribute to labor Forty Hour Week for a reason

Just talked to some asshole customer from Oregon who mimicked my goddamn accent through the whole call and then had the audacity to ask me to put a credit on his account

Chabad, January 2024

Chuck Berry's pervert ass had to pay over a million buck in class action settlements to do this sick shit

We out here enjoying cinema

Juliet of the spirits is chock full of fabulous bitches but so far she's my favorite

Well good to learn that Lee Carter beat or evaded the rape allegations I guess but do NOT put that fucker in my feed

Spoiled ass

Perversion

It's honestly so strong and brave of me to quit smoking when I had a lighter this cool

It's been 3 weeks since I've had a cigarette. I've just been sucking on a geek bar like a literal child, very embarrassing stuff

This is what some of y'all's mutual aid requests look like

Gonna be honest, it's real hard to put one foot in front of the other knowing that our species is facing extinction because a bunch of media assholes got told that their choices affect other people

That disturbed cover is music for cops to cry to

Trump Covid day is still spoken of in our home as an extremely fond memory and possibly as the last time either of us felt real hope

She's basically a Brazilian jiu jitsu champion except she's not a racist

Rabbit rabbit

On this day seven years ago, @fannyomaha.bsky.social made my day.

just found out i got high cholesterol

Gm Elliott Smith didn't kill himself

my genius son everyone

I'm so glad I take Advil and am not even a little bit autistic

Thinking “titans of industry” are the “guardrails to democracy” is just as dumb as any maga brained science. Honesty dumber because Ivermectin doesn’t give you covid

Hell yeah

If your weak-ass parents had kept their vows to God I wouldn't have to read this stupid shit

Guy who just helped pass a motion for a National Day of Remembrance for Charlie Kirk voice