imagining a guy who wants to be a good trans ally but hasnt really got it all down so any time someone mentions themselves as trans he puts a reassuring hand on their shoulder and says “well *i* think you’re a real woman :)” fully irrespective of the subject’s identity

go to raccoon․com to receive all of the latest&most trustworthy news and information about our world

terrorism police, arrest this foid

you might get baked and to of pie on the magic school bus

didnt get the memo huh

thought of a new white guy name. Jeff Amphetamine

if hideo kojima had written exodus then the pharaoh would have been named Harden Hartman

a dude with a license plate which concerningly resembles "CSA ILY" just cut in front of me mid-order in the in n out line and refused to reverse so the employee had to acquiesce and serve him first and start my order again 5 minutes later

i posted this on twitter and they are cooking my damn ass. no one seems to recognize that i feel the box to be significantly cooler than what is actually inside it

BREAKING NEWS: Lake Havasu 4th of July Boat Crash

everybody likes raccoons

Is there an animal who is better than the raccoon? not really

i hate to admit it, i truly do, but i cannot help noticing that everything in the world only started really going to shit when they stopped making Punk Goes Pop albums

whose idea was making Sonic Drive Thru's slogan "This Is How We Sonic". that just makes me think of The Hollow Men. is that what sonic corporation of america wants to be associated with

i really dont mean to alarm you all but based on what i am hearing it seems like an america is blowing up to smitherenes tonight

raccoon president. raccoon chancellor. raccoon proconsul

international raccoon day, the world's most favorite holiday of today

my drugs have been chaotically spread out across disparate locations within my living spaces for three years now and it has resulted in many stressful or tragic (eg. valuable ones disappearing without a trace) situations. i've always wanted a Doctor Suitcase for this. dream accomplished

raccoon steppe horde

i like when you're in costco after business hours end and they dim the lights by 40%. it occurs to me that i would enjoy shopping anywhere much more if they made it more grotto-like

the owner of my bar just showed me this “report” he wrote for sunday school when he was a kid. i am fucking crying

BAH! Enough talk! My <Beam Blast> shall make short work of you!

white people love to be named "george heggle"

remembering getting 5150ed & i was supposed to get sent somewhere called John George but was left waiting in the ER 13hours bc JGPH wouldnt respond to *any* message. was allowed my phone so i started checking reviews; nestled amongst innumerable horror stories, found a rather amusingly phoned-in gem

(note: i already got the money & things are fine now) i think getting my car stuck in the irrigation canal might have actually fucked this guy's field up. i think i opened up a channel that started flooding his field and had turned part of it into a small marsh by the time i left #FuckFarmers

i love olivia reingold so much. she's a top contender for dumbest "journalist" in the entirety of human history

can someone send a rather urgent $150(@/$d0gg3aux) i was trying to turn around on a farm road but got stuck in mud canal&after 1hr i dislodged only to drive into another pit and when i got out to clean wheels the door autolocked (NEVER done this before) w keys inside. im getting mauled by mosquitoes

i'm Wolf Lizard

>Be me >Be asian >Be Asian >Be Asian >Be Asian >Be Asian >Be Asian >Be Asian >Be Asian >

what is your favorite animal? that's right. it's the raccoon. i knew it

Wife and I are going through "Transsexual Empire" again and rediscovering some things I forgot: - Around page 131 she compared HRT to heroin while citing, of all people, Jesse Jackson (on the effect of drugs on marginalised people) - On page 136 she speculates about the CIA having forcefem sites

This sentence is a horrifying rollercoaster.

updated GFM post-recent circumstances! after getting rugpulled by my mom we're broke & urgently need help with AZ>MN move costs&initial homelessness til we can get work+residency+self-sustainability. sharing/any help massively appreciated<3 venmo/cashapp:@/$d0gg3aux www.gofundme.com/f/help-augus...

Hot women in your area HAVE DIED 🪦🪦🪦 Press X to help them get to Hot Heaven 🌹💋🪽 Hot Heaven? What does that sound like? 🔥😈👹 Whoopsie! Good luck up there with all the uggos and God, you huge bitch

updated GFM post-recent circumstances! after getting rugpulled by my mom we're broke & urgently need help with AZ>MN move costs&initial homelessness til we can get work+residency+self-sustainability. sharing/any help massively appreciated<3 venmo/cashapp:@/$d0gg3aux www.gofundme.com/f/help-augus...

as far as i can tell the trauma involved was "during the day that they were renting the raccoon, the studio hid food inside a model's bra so the raccoon would grab at it and when the raccoon was returned it kept grabbing at other women's bras and being confused/disappointed to find no food"

taos new mexico :)

white people love to be named "yrefy"

eminem fact: the legendary white rapper once attempted to escape the accumulated guilt and consequences of his actions by changing his name to "slim shady" but it didnt work because everybody knew that was still eminem rather than a different and separate guy

people were not kidding when they told me about how rancid the vibes are in sedona

"paul bunyan" is just a psyop created by Big Man to trick you into thinking it is normal or good for a human to be taller than 5'10 / 5'11 at most

SCOOP: So remember Dialog, Peter Thiel's private society that doesn't have a public website and no public list of members? I (along with a number of other journalists) have just been tipped off that embedded in the code of their closed off website there IS what seems to be a list of some members.

how many confirmed kills do you think you guys would have if you were in the military. if i was in the military i think i would have this many confirmed kills: 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

cats are my friends and they are very good at it

women arent actually on the autism spectrum. common misunderstanding. autistic people are actually considered to be on the women spectrum

all metal music is actually made by one singular guy. hes very busy and has to run around very quickly to visit many things, one moment hes making a guitar go bwom bwombwom then he has to dash over to the drum set and make it go dudududududu then back to the guitar bwomm bwomm and so on and so forth

having a good time & being happy addicts be like ohh ohhhh im totally not addicted to feeling alright bro i can actually have a bad time and stop chilling any time i want mannnn

went stargazing with gf in skyline regional park on 2cb (pics mine and hers) (third pic is not her and i but rather her and her ex but i could also tell you that it's her and me if it makes you think im 2 inches taller than i really am)

[speaking in an overwhelmingly offensive, repulsive 'oriental' caricature voice that is so utterly tasteless it would make a nativist politician in 1906 san francisco blush] hey everyone whats up