this is the song that plays when I get an extra mozarella stick

[To the tune of Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison] 🎵Baba Yaga 🎵Walking down the street 🎵Baba Yaga 🎵House with chicken feet 🎵Baba Yaga

I simply refuse to accept that police ever have to look like this. this is just pure cosplay. it should be illegal for cops to be dressed like soldiers going to war.

I’m sorry I just found out that in 1379, as in, 650 years ago, a baby girl was born in Yorkshire and named Diot Coke history is a fucking joke lmao

Two of my buddies wanted to do a bear crawl race. The first ambled comfortably on all fours, and the second immediately ate shit, stood up, sprinted after the first, and still lost.

Finally, Gabecube

ok one last post -- oldheads are always going to "why is the web dying.... how can we get the kids invested in the free and open web" bro the kids can't read. that's why the web is dying. first things first

This is so unbelievably true though

All of this suddenly makes so much more sense to me

BUH-BYE! #MTG

some years, Circulatory System Walking Through the Kitchen Day just completely sneaks up on you

I think we just need to destroy the Democratic Party. whatever replaces it could never be THIS bad

ran out of room

No but seriously, give me either Master and Commander or Horatio Hornblower but Star Wars as a prestige D+ series

CheezIts should come in little cracker sleeves like saltines

I'm going to sincerely try not to get extremely annoying with this

Maybe we should start referring to ChatGPT as "the chatbot that kills you"

"i asked grok" "i asked chatgpt" yeah well i asked carl sagan and he said the greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge 🧪

Panera’s moderately caffeinated lemonade was loosely associated with 2 deaths before it was taken off market. This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.

[hot ones] me: *finishes off gallon of milk* sean evans: ok are you ready for your first wing

HEARTBREAKING: Errand put off for a week takes 6 minutes, of which only 1 was in-store.

10/10 take. No notes.

What the hell

[Exit Clown.]

I’ve been extremely online since I was 8, and that experience has led me to pretty strongly believe that being able to choose not to engage socially with people in public settings - which includes the Internet - for ANY REASON is a fundamental human right

Once again:

It’s basically Deep Space Nine.

Only day you can post this

Alan Moore knows the score

Ok, BUT the zombie genre does it because it's ashamed of the genre, while the mecha genre does it because it's bursting with ideas. You can tell because zombies are called like walkers or zeds, while the mechs are called things like Mobile Suits, Veritech Fighters, Armored Cores, or BattleMechs.

it's me, unnamed critter from bosch's triptych of the temptation of anthony!

the current push to start advertising christmas before halloween is even done is fascist, i will not be elaborating further

my life if balatro was actual gambling

🕯️Manifesting 🕯️

I'm walking to other planes and handing these out as a psa from home

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

Past the 15th inning they should start counting foul balls as hits just to see what happens

yeah, well, Microsoft's decision to donate money to Trump's ballroom project is all the "comment" anyone needs here

I'm just saying

Listen I know this is nostalgia slop made by someone born after 9/11 but the thing that really gets me about this is the “I, Robot” VHS tape placing this no earlier than 2004 the precise era during which the 1990s was a nostalgic dead zone even for ironists.

"Cruel Angel's Thesis is officially 30 years old. I still haven't watched Eva, sorry" -Oikawa Neko, Lyricist