stranger things didn’t become a show for kids, it remained a show for adults—but what that means has rapidly and aggressively shifted in the decade since ST’s first season. every show “for adults” is this bad, looks this bad, feels this hollowed and hollowed-out, is this BORING

How do you get fired from Carnegie Hospital? Malpractice, malpractice, malpractice.

during some winter break cleaning, my partner rediscovered a book she grabbed at a yard sale because she liked the cover. she just looked it up online and learned it’s worth around three thousand dollars I say this with love and gratitude: this is exactly the kind of bullshit she pulls

not enough movies in that closet. too many celebrities picking them. can’t remember the last time I saw a dvd come off the shelf and surprise me with a new title. we know what movies are in the collection. those videos are basically like matrix code to me now

about half the time now when I start moving my arm to put my phone in front of my partner’s face, I ask myself, “am I just showing her something that will annoy her, and that she’d never otherwise encounter?” and I put the phone away.

sooo good that every single ad now is for developing a life-ruining gambling addiction

always weird to get little glimpses on the TL of arguments about being trans and on hormones but terrified to transition socially. like, that’s just a completely different universe to my experience. I did the real life test, y’know? hell, I was full-timing it before I even spoke to my GP

why have I built my life around a device that I use to ruin my own boxing day by looking at it and getting angry about strangers being wrong about housing

we’re all having a lot of fun with your plans and schemes carol but you are trying to outthink billions of minds including all of the smartest people alive, all the best strategists, all the most empathetic people with all the experts in psychology, there’s just no way

Christmas Day walk in High Park. Good park.

lot of workers fainting near the natural gas and rare earth metals mine. on-site doctor says it’s either/or ether or ore.

“Well, Gronk says it’s actually good that I— I recognize my body’s need for sustenance, and that’s not ‘being a gluttonous stoner with the munchies’, it’s strength. And I quote: ‘Wow, it sounds like you’re on your way to a brownie-filled whirlwind of late-night-snack chaos’.”

you’ll never convince me the folgers christmas ad isn’t a masterpiece that should be studied in marketing school. with just 43 seconds and some incredible chemistry they create a compelling relationship that you fully believe in despite the enormous taboo. “lightning in a bottle” doesn’t come close

asking plur1bus to give the game of thrones treatment to animorphs

realizing I forgot yesterday’s HRT dose as the debuff wears off and I’m once again able to cast Greater Impure Thoughts

you’ll notice that Steve roger’s rides a “triumph” name motorcycle—perhaps a reference to what he hopes to do in the upcoming battle? (triumph=win)

“ooh we’d love for you to come and buy a phone from us!!” please. as if. not happening. the only thing that could possibly change my mind would be if you’d recently instituted some sort of “price lock” policy, but surely there’s no way…

please generate an affecting painting of war in cubist style, sad war painting, battle of guernica, in the style of Picasso, honkers if you can fit them in, guernica tragedy, big honkers, iconic cubism, Picasso guernica, add girls with big honkers, trending on artstation

My partner was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, but as an adult she briefly wrote flyer copy for The Source, so she knows the true meaning of Christmas: exciting new deals on wearable tech products for Dad!!! Only at The Source!!!

canceled when my google searches leak and the number one repeated query every day for the past eighteen months is “could queen’s gambit see the board better because her eyes were so far apart”

they should put hidden cameras in tom skinner’s house and broadcast christmas day live

my god is an entity of love and light, pure love, nothing but love coming from my lord, and also I fear him, he strikes fear into my heart, I yell at people for not being frightened enough of my nice god, he’s scary, you should flinch when you think of the god of perfect love

gonna be hard to reach for a while, obviously pretty blown away by the Walliams allegations and it’s gonna take some time for the shock to wear off. I’m in a daze, I’m so surprised! heading to a silent retreat so I can really reset, and try to absorb this impossible news.

we should have been more mean to that actor who said he doesn’t take roles where he’d have to kiss someone because he’s married. “I fundamentally don’t understand my job”

plur1bus would be really impressed with how well I understood the rules of plur1bus

tossing and turning in my bed every night just *wishing* they would make more dreadful sherlock holmes content! but they won’t do it, the cowards! even though there’s so, so much left to poorly explore or look at through a different profession! more period holmeses with veneers!

we’ve had a disagreement about whether or not an actor will “continue to be shoved down our throats” so the calendar event has been made for a year from now and the reminder email will be coming and I will be vindicated

back when I was a creative person who made things, I was so very into Creative Commons licenses. all my shit was attribution-sharealike. don’t know that anyone ever took advantage, but hey. now, I find my onlyfans pics on those awful leak sites, and it’s like a dark version of that beautiful dream

every time one of those “public auditor” videos crosses one of my feeds it’s so upsetting, the kids from school who would say “but I’m not touching you, technically I’m not doing anything wrong!” now have audiences and income streams from doing the same exact thing as adults.

a commercial. you are describing a commercial. specifically, the pro-corpdrone commercial they made everyone watch eight times an hour by hacking their synchips. the past was not better! the corpdrones ALWAYS burned you

don’t tell me things didn’t used to be better in the past, look at this old net-vid I dug up of a corpdrone catching a citizen out past zone curfew. it just… winks it’s holographic eye at him! these days it would vent its excess nukexhaust onto his rad-damaged skin. to start!

uk farmers are being treated like second-class citizens by being asked to pay the same taxes as first-class citizens

weather app says it’s gonna be a gross cloudy day until 3pm, literally an hour before the sun starts setting. are you kidding me. why even bother showing your face, sun. why even get out of bed

the casey wilson rat infestation livestream is interesting to me, because shouldn’t her gardener be taking care of this stuff from heaven for her (a real belief about her gardener’s continued role in her life post-his death that she wrote about and published in her autobiography)

watching caché and I immediately clocked that that’s a danny boyle boxset above the tv. we, of course, had to pause and google to confirm, and I gave up *just* before my partner tracked it down. unfortunately this has led to a minor disagreement about who gets credit. haneke, you’ve done it again!

celebrities can keep getting increasingly drastic and weird-looking plastic surgeries as far as I’m concerned because when you’re watching a tv show or movie with someone and you want to make your little joke it’s nice to have “and I love how normal his/her/their face is!” in your back pocket

interrupting my partner at work so I can say to her “the man who mistook his lies for a fact”

“the lowest ‘feels like’ temp will be at 1pm” no, sorry, you don’t understand, that’s actually the part of the day when it’s meant to be warmest. 1pm is when it gets hot. entire cultures are built around this.

they should make a movie out of some of those comic books things I used to read. it’d be great to see those storylines brought to the big screen

I have to assume this will all go nowhere because some senators are getting some very scary calls with phrases like “will destroy the entire global economy in a way that would be unrecoverable”

haven’t thought about section 230 this much since I was a teenager listening to the very first tech podcasts even though they were not at all relevant to my life

i have a weird conspiracy theory about recent fortnite matchmaking changes and it’s the least important thing in the world and it’s breaking my brain

really was quite undone by mary’s sound of music-prompted claim last night that the reason people aren’t nice these days is because they’re watching “video nasties”, a moral panic from THIRTY YEARS AGO. she’s such a bizarre creature.

I like how our inability to reckon with large numbers of people makes every task Pluribus performs for Carol seem like some grand, complicated expression of logistical capacity, when really to a creature with 7 billion limbs it’s as easy as you or I just blinking.

I want my partner to come home so I can immediately tell her something that will bore her.

with Gillette featuring Copilot, we’re gonna slice up your face so bad. it’s gonna suck for you. the razor is broke because we fucked with it. the AI made it into more of a trap than anything else. this is the only razor you can buy now.

30 rock is the best sitcom of all time, but, Tina, authenticity is probably a lot *less* expensive if you’re not an extremely nasty woman! when nice people are authentically nice they don’t really encounter problems! I am an unpleasant personality myself and take no pleasure in reporting this

“ah, I see you’ve selected ‘airplane mode’. I’ll get right on that, but you probably want to keep wifi active, right? and bluetooth, bluetooth is so important” —most advanced operating system in the world

at one point the main character is about to punch a shard of energy, and another character asks “what are you doing?” and the main guy says “I’ll tell you later”. not “just watch” or “I have an idea” or even “something awesome”. “I’LL TELL YOU LATER”. they’re about to SEE him DO it

my partner has requested that I stop interrupting her during her busy and stressful job so that I can complain about the poor quality of the writing and voice acting in the new fortnite icon series skin trailer