finally listening to this week’s episode of a podcast hosted by dodgers fans even though I know it’ll be an hour of gloating. this is character-building, this is a spiritual process, this is practicing sereni—OH “CONGRATULATIONS” ON SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY ON A DEGENERATE GAMBLER

I promise I’m _trying_ to enjoy the clips from the latest Vanity Fair lie detector but unfortunately they make me too angry because they’re propaganda for pseudoscience and I can’t be normal about it.

apple is always like “we spend a lot of money on tv shows and movies to encourage people to buy our set-top box and subscribe to our streaming service” but the real reason is it was getting to the point that their massive pile of spare cash was starting to look really creepy

fortnite released new companions that follow you around in-game and there’s like eight dogs and ZERO cats in the initial wave. yet more proof (as if it were needed) of our rotten culture’s anti-cat bias.

Major League Baseball is an evil organization designed to torture the wonderful people of Canada

the country that’s in charge of the entire world? yeah, every few years they nuke their own economy for some political grandstanding. thank god one of the rogue states isn’t in charge, though

LeaenedLeague should include, amongst the profile ribbons currently offered, ribbons for being Champion of a One-Day or Mini-League. My partner would have a ton more ribbons on her profile. I’m not a member any more so someone please pass this up the chain.

the mamdani resume portal bringing back the kind of “dear network tv show, I have four thousand followers and have suffered from hot tub foot my entire life—you NEED me in the room when you’re writing these eps” posts I thought we left behind in 2013 because we learned shame

characters in books love to speak in “short, staccato bursts”

I forgot this was kind of a big night and posted a bunch of pennywise jokes I thought of while I was eating dinner. Sorry. Kind of a weird one from me there, sorry.

would love if everyone could stop posting “memes” about pennywise dying I understand he MAY have done a lot of shady stuff to a friend of a friend of yours or whatever but to a lot of us on this forum he was a cherished emotional support entity. *if I see memes in signatures I’m banning*

“Pennywise? Well, let’s just say that when everyone meets up in Vegas for ClownCon, he’s eating alone! No, no… But he’s part of the community, y’know? Everyone approaches the artform in a different way. So shall we take this to your place? My flower isn’t the only thing that squirts.”

when pennywise died a bunch of trash and effluence from the sewer posted “rip to my favorite clown, thank you for teaching me it was okay to be floating down here”

just patiently explained to a very concerned pharmacist that the amount of estrogen he was dispensing for me was, in fact, entirely appropriate, because I don’t make much of my own estrogen, because that’s what being transgender means

On the pedestal, these words: My name is Ozymandias; Look on my works, they’re great works, still standing after so long, the best works,

OZYMANDIAS, THE FRESH KING OF KINGS I whistled for a traveler, and when he came near, His land was antique, and he frowned at my sneer, If anything I could say ye mighty, despair, But I thought, “Nah, forget it—my wreck’s boundless and bare!”

takes a lot for me to say nice things about fortnite right now because I sold my ps5 before traveling to toronto and so am playing the game on my switch, which is not a pleasant experience. but it’s really fun to wander around springfield nuclear power plant. or kamp krusty. or ned flanders’ house.

it’s silly but I do think there are two things everyone should be aware of: 1) Fortnite is currently doing a Simpsons mini-season, the whole game is full of Simpsons stuff, and, 2) the best kept secret in gaming is Fortnite is a fun time and a great way to hang with your friends

there’s a guy furiously ranting to someone on the phone in the parking lot behind my apartment building. can’t quite make out the bulk of what he’s saying, but I heard “yesavage”

I guess the big thing for me is that you can’t overstate how much Ohtani should be in jail.

“there was no intent there” oh thanks psychic commentators for the unbiased coverage

so weird the exceptions they make for ohtani! there’s almost no precedent for it, not in the sport itself, not in the u.s. justice system,

girlfriend and I hyping each other up and escalating until we reached the claim that our team deserves to win because “the blue jay is a bird of peace, probably!!!”

Really grateful to GOGGLEBOX for allowing me to keep up with British culture while I’m over here. One hour-long episode and I get important info about DIY: SOS (they’ve changed its name back) and the death of Prunella Scales (she died).

I’m glad I don’t understand baseball, so I can just assume there’s a reason our DH tonight was a guy with a red health bar above his head that ticked down every time he even touched the bat.

tonight the jays are asking the dodgers outfield if they would like to run one billion miles

I literally said “springer doing his traditional ‘lucky grab at my side’ there” and then he put us on the board! keep grabbing that side!

imagining the person who is putting little stickers that say “autogynephellia” on traffic light posts and thinking to themselves “I’m normal, this is a normal thing I’m doing”

at one point, after an earthquake and a deadly virus, gotham city was deemed not worth saving, and it was declared a no man’s land. the fictional u.s. government of the scream franchise needs to do the same with woodsboro. and when lex luther lobbies to open it back up, DON’T.

the fact that a huge chunk of the country believes “it’s not the government’s job to feed you!” should shatter the illusion that America is a democracy. in a true democracy, citizens know that they are each a vital part of the government

important to have a friend you can discuss every new On Cinema development with

sending voice notes to friends back in the uk to let them know it turns out baseball is a game about throwing a ball into a glove, NOT a game about hitting a ball with a bat

Again, I’m very new to baseball, so I have to check—is it good when your team starts the game with back to back home runs??????

The evil LA Dodgers knew my psychic energies would win us this game so they cut the power to Queen & Roncy. No joke, power’s out on my whole block. This is the craziest (and only) World Series I’ve ever experienced.

why have I been watching a baseball game for six hours

sure, the game’s going on forever, but at least I get to see the same four terrible commercials over and over and over

please someone score a single run. any run.

I just don’t think it’s fair that one team gets to have, essentially, Superman playing for them.

I’m not a sports guy AT ALL I just want this for the city and I really think we can do this. I’m roaring at the screen. I believe.

I was kidding around during the commercial break about how we were gonna get 5 runs in the next inning and I was gonna put $780 on it and haha what a funny joke and now it’s scarily close and I absolutely did not place a bet

I’m pacing and saying shit like “okay, so they win this and then they’re one game up? who cares? *we* were one game up, it doesn’t mean anything”

oh, there’s a bit of a smell in the houses of people who own cats? wow, I’m hearing this for the first time. I must have not noticed because I was giving and receiving care and affection with a perfect creature who makes my life better in literally every other way except smell

always a button to tell the vape to pre-heat but never one to tell it to post-cool. says a lot about our society. the bigwigs say it’s not efficient to relax… unless you do it with the vape. put your suffering on the vape.

sorry but as a data guy I’ve been looking at these TGU* numbers compared to the ACS* stats and it really feels like it’s gonna have to be a difficult conversation with my partner re: why exactly I make such an enormous cup for her every day *total grounds used *actual coffee swallowed

kinda game to make you say “we’re so good at baseball. I’m glad I picked being good at baseball”

pretty good game for my first game ever lol

partner has just learned that I was _not_ joking about watching the blue jays tonight

“if you’re a good tenant, your landlord would want you to stay!” the average landlord would evict jesus christ himself if it meant they could move in someone who will pay $5 more a month, please be serious

the thing I love about the phrase “mom and pop landlords” is I have talked to people who consider themselves as such even though they literally own 100% of the buildings in an entire neighborhood. landlords are sick people who need every kind of curtailment possible

I really thought we called a moratorium on “[BAD PERSON] sure would hate it if this went viral…” posts. Like why are we still indulging such thirsty behaviour? “Sure would be a shame if I got a bunch of retweets…” The ‘Favrd is closed’ post predicted all this, btw.