Having to move to a different spot in the library because I am being driven insane by the sounds the man behind me is making as he eats. But as I gather my things, I realize he’s not eating anything at all. So then, what were those sounds? What were those maddening sounds???

pretty funny I guess that the two sides are a) people who believe that silksong was already perfectly tuned and balanced on the day of its release vs. b) people who think that version needed adjustments, and the second group is the one which includes the game’s developers

there’s a clip going around on twitter of a streamer defending people who want difficulty adjustments in silksong. and every attempted dunk I’m seeing on it ignores that video games are a unique entertainment medium in that they require near-constant active participation from the audience.

“You think it’s men’s anxieties driving culture? Please. No. It’s women. Women are scared of The Cuckoo.”

obvious solution is to have two Your Partys: Your Party Diamond Premium Club, and Your Party Platinum Rewards Tier

the buster scruggs “first time?” meme but franco is bill maher and he’s talking to kimmel and the gallows is uh made out of affiliate networks

silkposting: big guy with flying spear dude in hunter’s march is the epitome of this game’s joylessness in combat. any height is occupied by the flyer, his spears might as well be homing, ground guy has one too many attack types, both have close to zero telegraphs, and you can reset by accident.

september 13th 2025 / I like going to sleep with my makeup still on, because there’s no consequences. you wake up looking tired, but in a chic way. you were busy, you were perhaps at an Event

Everything just feels so On Cinema, all the time.

replying “oh my god where can I get this shirt???” to see which scraped and auto-generated links from bots in the replies include the blood

[VAMPIRE WATCHING THE NEWS] down the shirt and… yep, straight onto the floor. so that’s ruined, obviously. and right out of where I like to drink it,

important to consider all possibilities, especially since covid often presents as a sore throat

people are freaking out and making wild assumptions. what if his blood just wanted to get out of his neck really quickly because he has such bad vibes

a thought I had after drinking a weed drink the other day: the world is a series of interlocking systems designed to punish me specifically for being too good and smart and funny

“this is how a recent guest left my airbnb” don’t care. they could’ve burnt it down and I wouldn’t care.

hornet has a lot of movement tech so piloting her has a high skill ceiling that they’ve matched the difficulty of the game to but I’m sorry I am nowhere near that ceiling and I’m sick of flying enemies that dash at you while a different enemy is also dashing at you and firing projectiles.

Alternate funny response: “No, but I am a Wilson heart.”

tried to tell my partner—mid-her blinding me with her phone screen in the middle of the night—about triple-clicking the side button to lower the white point, and she said my dimmed screen (held up as example), quote, “stressed her out”

murder on a bus got all the right wing accounts saying “we need to tell americans not to use public transit!!!” buddy, that memo has long since gone out

played silksong for two hours on the big tv before romy said “oh, you can put games on your computer and hook it up to that????” and the whole setup turned into her disco elysium machine.

yeah I caved. watching my favourite streamers play it and then going back to hollow knight was just untenable. got so ridiculously lost in only the first area, spent 2 hours trying to beat vomit ceiling dude before you’re meant to, new pogo sucks, 15/10, game of the year

“so I won’t be seeing much of you for a day or two, you’ll be busy playing?” oh, no, my process with these games is to wait six months until there are a bunch of commentated speed runs on YouTube so I can go in knowing what the hell I’m doing. I’m too old for “ah, this path is blocked. okay. good.”

told my partner it’s silksong release day and after I reminded her that I’d explained what that is a few months ago she said oh right and then asked if anybody will be streaming it. I love her very much and we’re each other’s person and also sometimes we live in completely different worlds

want to be clear: I don’t think it would have been right for linehan to go to prison. (I don’t think it’s right for _anyone_ to go to prison.) but an arrest to establish conditions which reduce the possibility of a repeat offense is exactly proportional to the initial crime

KEXP playing some U2 song and I go “getting a lot of Unforgettable Fire vibes from this one”. Don’t think I’ve ever listened to a full U2 album in my life, not at all familiar with their sound in general, but I absolutely nailed it. And THAT’S why we listen to podcasts ten years ago.

nice that Graham finally has a solid answer for my “can you define the word ‘chair’?” question: it’s the thing you sit on with your head bowed as you mumble “yes, mr policeman, I promise not to go on Twitter anymore, sir”

jowling kowling rowling has done another “here’s a list of my beliefs, they’re actually quite reasonable!” post except she’s been soaking her brain in this shit 24/7 for so long at this point she actually forgot to limit it to stuff cis people consider plausibly deniable

my partner was just shocked—SHOCKED—to learn that people usually wear their watches on their left arms. she’s not left-handed or anything. I’m so confused.

Huge shoutout to the couple who just ruined The Naked Gun for me by talking for the entire first half of the movie until they were shamed into silence by me saying, “No, you cannot answer your phone in here,” when one of them *answered his phone in there*.

walking around the house repeating to myself “my source news opinion world”

going on a year of seemingly the entire internet trying to make me think it’s important that a posh person graduated from cambridge and you’re simply not going to find me delighting in the discovery of that particular fork in that particular kitchen

I like following lawyers because they’ll tweet something like “oh shit the judge went OFF on this one, he was PISSED” above a screenshot which reads “prosecution claims to be unaware of any memo”

quicksand? sure, listen—when I was a kid I was told about yeerks. you know yeerks? space slugs, they slide in your ear, take over your brain. you’re locked in your own body. terrifying. and then I grew up. and there’s no yeerks. but get this: you’re still locked in your own body

No, Joe MacMillan compiled a list of websites on Post-it notes in the basement of the former Mutiny offices, and then Gordon Clark’s daughter Haley turned that into the website COMET. Stop erasing real history.

ME: “Ugh, these people are fighting when they should just read that ‘What About The Rapists?’ PDF. I mean, I haven’t read it, but I figured out all the correct positions from first principles.” HER: “Well, you’re very good at identifying first principles and developing perfect opinions from them.”

anytime the question of lawyers defending guilty people comes up I remember that scene in daredevil (2003) where foggy talks about being taught to “operate in a moral vacuum”. btw this ISN’T ‘imagine a burger’ stuff because I was a teenager when that movie came out, it’s allowed

I have come to realize that I was engaging in misogyny and femmephobia when I snapped “you know, a lot of people have other things going on besides how small they are!” at Polly Pocket after she told me for the thousandth time that her house was the size of my hand

made what I thought was a funny little joke and my partner said, with only love in her voice, “you just *talk*” and then, after we’d stopped laughing, “it’s *every* *day*”.

forgot that crossing the atlantic would mean dealing with my enemies: north american internet service provider monopolies

realizing I’ve never posted on here my best piece of advice: you never have to feel bad about your butt. rough time on the toilet? hop in the shower and keep the water below your waist. you’ll clean up quick and dry off quick. you never have to feel bad about your butt

Actually, no, I’ll say this: my partner likes to idly browse the country’s real estate and rental offerings, and here’s what she notices: even in places where the house prices are much, much lower than Toronto, the rents are almost identical. Almost like landlords are motivated by greed, not market!

People ask me what changes I’ve noticed in Toronto after twelve years away, and so far I have: a) way more A&W locations, 2) condos and name brand stores encroaching on Parkdale, iii) the car situation is *insane*. Like, it was always bad, but this city *desperately* needs a congestion charge.

getting catcalled a bunch more in canada. one guy looked at my tits and straight up said “wow”. thought I left that in my twenties, will enjoy it for a brief time before it becomes annoying/scary

a thing i’ve always known to be true about galactus is that he has video game-style weak points

I do NOT recommend trying to explain to your girlfriend why, exactly, what’s happening in the deck-building roguelike game you’re watching is “funny”

honestly can’t believe my timing on getting out of the uk just before the “sketchy age verification AI to look at the word ‘tits’” law came into effect

voting on the name seems interesting, but maybe a little rushed? would love a vote on whether or not we should debate on voting on a name, maybe an initial straw poll at the first conference, with a follow-up ranked choice ballot with write-in option in 2-4 years?

“mark zuckerberg wants to pay ai engineers a billion dollars? what is happening???” a bubble. a bubble is happening. this is bubble activity, this is classic bubble shit. you’d have to be stupid to not recognize this as a bubble. it’s just a bubble. we can all tell it’s a bubble

“And what is your reason for visiting Canada today?” “I need to talk to someone at the CBC about putting the entire archive of the news satire radio show ‘This Is That’ online somewhere. Currently you can only access ten ‘best-of’ episodes that don’t have the segments I want.”

corny post format, but given my history, I think we’ll allow it: Canada, I am in you