My 600 Quid Life

Hold my walmart hand

Jesus, can you hear me? Good, the comms are working. Now, you're gonna need to run if you want to evade those Roman soldiers. Hold down A to sprint. Go ahead and try it. ... Good work! You just might be the savior yet. Now pick up that AR-15 and let's do some target practice.

Being a woman! It's a lot. And we wouldn't trade it for anything. Skip ad

That is a glimmer of hope. Put it back.

You kids better not be speciating in there

TLC channel tagline should be "The cruelty is the point."

Sometimes it feels like you and me against the world

Mutation is a universal right

You kids better not be speciating in there

I'm learning how to play online poker and take doors off their hinges in case I ever have kids

MARGE: kids, i hear some korean stuff in there, what's happening? BART: kill the video, lease LISA: mom we're only saying some korean words BART: yeah mom we're just being korean and stuff MARGE: oh that's just you guys?

I am 100 miles away from the only place on Earth where your magic worked.

little soft thing with no eyes. it does not see your warm colors. it feels a cold sting. it crushes its body into the edges of its little room. it is smeared across its walls. it does not recognize the colors.

gotta go with your classic

call the police

"valet trash" is such a beautiful way to say stinking fucking hallway

I love this for my neighborhood so much, and the cost per unit is way less than new construction Convert more office towers! We have the technology!

duality of girlpack v9

This is a very succinct explanation of why millennials who grew up on dialup are a lot more normal.

Currently experiencing this sickness among several other things :/

A frictionless life makes a very sick adult.

israeli radiohead fans: he's right… what the hell ARE we doing here? pudding trent reznor: my whole existence is flan gucci mane pronouncing “hoxhaists” korean squ does anybody feel like this is the only universe where they found a way to survive korean squidward

this is the wrong medium to express what i went through

3:19am I believe in us. We will be okay. We will see communism in our lifetimes. I love you. 3:44am Burning all my paintings. My art is a waste I am sorry for wasting so much time I will never be good enough 4:31am if kirby swallowed a pirate he would be Scurby

effective means of stopping child abuse are sex education for children, emancipating children legally so that abuse and borderline abuse cannot be excused, and building a culture of trust and open communication with children at places like school. you don’t focus on coddling perpetrators.

(recalling a happy memory) That one's going in the cringe compilation

I went to my girlfriend's family's house for Thanksgiving and we all couldn't stop singing We Are Charlie Kirk song. At one point everyone in the house started singing it at the same time and about 30 seconds later two people who were outside + didn't hear us came in singing it

hey girlie it's been too long!!! can you come over and be my bodyguard so that i can sleep

uh oh youtu.be/MrVYuIfWqO4?...

if i delete one of my cryptic missives from the nightmare plane it's not because i regret it or i can't stand by it. it's because i want the smiles to stay around and the frowns to fade

i will put so much good in the world that if you give me an early death someone will pick up my torch and outrun you

my stomach just made the exact sound of the "your" in "your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system"

Please help if you can

was overzealous

NEW: You've read a lot about immigrants kidnapped, forcibly detained, and held in ICE facilities -- what about the immigrants *trying* to leave the country? Turns out its wildly difficult for them too. don't miss this from @telliotter.bsky.social:

deer dreams

This is one of those things that I think is quietly important – when these people are talking shit about cities, Portland or Minneapolis or New York or Charlotte or wherever, you have to loudly say, “no, fuck you, you’re lying, that town and its people whip ass and you’re the asshole”

Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson has proposed disastrous cuts to our city's libraries while setting aside $5M for a ShotSpotter replacement. As library associate Sara Heymann told me, “Libraries embody everything we need to fight back against fascism.” My piece on what’s at stake and how to fight back:

surprised so many of you listen to the Demiurge’s radio that is meant to put spiders inside you to lay thousands of eggs

I have to say, when I started recording songs into a boombox in my employee-housing apartment at MSH, I did not anticipate one day talking about those songs with PEOPLE magazine people.com/the-mountain...

i will be overweight b4 end of winter if i keep it up

canada can't be that good. every night you're the last green lights left on discord

got ahold of an extremely cheap crock pot and made myself a misguided soup

making haus of decline listen to drain gang