not many people know this, but Barilla has a line of 3D printed pasta it sells mostly to the fine dining industry. I don't want the pasta. I want the pasta printer

Watching Star Trek TNG because it's great, gang. Anyway, remember that time Picard and Riker just low-key shot fuck out of some cunt until his head exploded?

i genuinely don't know how papa john's stays in business. every two weeks they email me a 50% off coupon & i have "papa dough" from two weeks ago that i can use 1:1 like canadian tire money. so a pizza, pops, and some of the knots i like costs me $16 total with tax delivery & tip. HOW

Kool Aid Man

Shall we be dragged by him to the bottom of the sea? Shall we be towed by him to the infernal world?

why are his ears bright red he's inside, it's not cold in there his face is caked in foundation so his lips and ears being super flush is extra noticeable what type of beverage makes your face flush with blood your movements poorly co-ordinated and makes you say stupid shit

am so tired of being sad all the time. gonan go walk to the river and read the thing chris sent me and try and channel my sadness into my hatred for MAGA

rescheduled for may 11th so i can experience the joy of this moment again. thank you mr carney

CRA threatening to seize my assets because I slipped deeper into depression because i can't afford my meds with the CRA bills

sitting on the conference call about my future that hasn't started yet 45 minutes after it was scheduled

supermassive pants-poopingly scary day today. at 11 am i find out if I will be forced into bankruptcy by CRA and have to sell my house or have it seized. i've already been homeless and pulled myself back up from that so i'd really rather not do it again; wish me luck if you have any to spare.

trying to figure out how big this place is

i have read police reports where the investigator proudly explained how he used standard interrogation techniques on the survivor filing the report, got her to contradict herself, and then concluded that she was making it all up! the system does not work the way you want it to

Has anyone checked on Doctor Gorka

This is exciting! They may have found a cure for ovarian & uterine cancers 🤞🤞 www.theguardian.com/business/202...

…this time, it’s personal

Current read: Pop. 1280 (1964) by Jim Thompson

Singing with the CanCon band tonight. Added to the roster: One of my all time favs… m.youtube.com/watch?v=X1o6...

Well, neither have made a good album since 2016, if that helps your argument

Would you believe the director was also responsible for the cursed 9/11 miniseries

When I get home at 8 I am immediately having a LONG BATH because my god I didn’t know I could be this cold

Andy Dick as EMH-2 in "Message in a Bottle", STAR TREK: VOYAGER (1998)

ran into your girl at the aquarium

(Curse removal worker softly singing to themself) Everybody's working for the weakened

unless Rob Schneider physically saved Adam Sandler's life - like with a kidney, or at literal gunpoint - at this point I have to assume Sandler's MAGA too. he hasn't said a fuckin' word, he continues to bankroll the guy, and he clearly doesn't think it's a problem!

was that Melania speech one of Iran’s demands

finally someone cool

Thinking about the condiment sow again.

chat who do you think Nick Offerman is playing in the Elden Ring movie. if this is how you're finding out about both of those things congratulations on hearing your first funny thing of the day

Deals are my art form. Some people get their kicks in different ways, but for me it's always been doing beautiful deals.

Women

What being on the brink of nuclear war taught me about B2B sales

∴｡　 　･ﾟ*｡. 　　･ *ﾟ 　 ･ ﾟ* ･｡ *･｡ *.｡ ｡･ °*. ﾟ｡ °*. ﾟ*. ｡｡ ･ ｡ ･ﾟ ｡°*. ｡*･｡

yeah, The Whimper of Whipped Dogs

I want to be a warm and friendly person But I don't know how to do it

Being an unmarried hooer on holidays can be fun. Today I’m making cinnamon buns, and recording the pilot of a lore podcast for a Kickstarted tabletop robot wargaming show we pitched on. Then, I’m gonna fill out my six-month work review, go for an evening walk with my soup boy, and eat the rolls.

*Bella Baxter voice* PIG NEWS

Please get me off the “my pet just died” algo. I promise I’m already depressed enough.

Buns as sweet and soft as my heart and the size of my fist. Baking complete

Bread COMPLETE buns PENDING

I'm making bread & some dinner rolls to practice my super homesteading prepper skills & have something to punch that can't complain. The bread is in the oven and the buns are on their second rise. Which feels a bit weird since it's oppposite-of-rising day

The Long Good Friday (1980) John Mackenzie