Forty days since I drove my car but I tonight I have to leave the house, in the dark, so everyone find a safe place until I get back

Since I was out (car was sure dusty for having not left the garage!)

Couldn’t figure out how to use one of those stupid electric can openers so I chucked 5 cans of cranberry sauce off the top of the Pru and hoped for the best

collecting rain in wine glasses so i can have sips of the sky whenever i feel too mortal

My dog is sunsetting and I’m on couch as he can’t do stairs anymore &never slept without us and it’s worse than an infant and I’ve gotten about 9hours sleep this week and am talking to myself and not making sense at work and everything is pretty terrible. Oh, happy Friday!

I will accept your Happy Fry-Yay! because it came with a side of fries.

1:52 a.m. slides brownies into oven

New day before Thanksgiving tradition: drop a couple of tabs and listen to Dead bootlegs all day. Then, during Thanksgiving dinner, describe in detail what you experienced to your square, possibly maga, relatives (making a mashed potato sculpture while doing this is recommended but optional).

Me and a Carolina wren watching the sun slip down through the oaks and pitch pines, thinking about longer days

View it as less a fire hazard and more of a fire opportunity

sorry i blurted out i like it hard mr mattress salesman

I can’t explain religious phenomenons, but the lady w smokers wrinkles buying scratch offs bitchin there’s never any sweet & low is a mystic—cause when she calls you “hon”—it’s healing.

Be the reason for the season sounds fun. Unless we’re talking hunting.

Northern lights Southern man Eastern promises Western stars

Where the lick of the creek cleaves the hillside, caught in mossy-eyed stares, and thoughts broken like love's coming on the back of a night's rain, and the sound of dry beech leaves, steadfast, trembling. And I am the quiet of blood language, shapeless, clotted at my feet.

You wake up, but nothing seems right. You're fuzzy and coffee isn't helping. You tug on your earlobe and a cassette tape pops out the back of your head. You grab a pencil and insert it into the spindle, slowly turning until the kink straightens out and then pop it back in. You smile and make toast.

I miss October.

Hey! You're frigging amazing, okay?

Max Ducos

what’s better than a new blankie

As a Mass guy, I envy the way the word ‘holler’ rolls off the tongue of someone from West Virginia or Kentucky. Up here, we say ‘a chucklefuck just left the packie and whipped 10 losing scratch tickets into the ditch – or holler – next to the Dunks’

Listen kids, when you stare into a rain cloud for too long it becomes a mirror

*getting hit in the face with a shovel My god, I love you.

Sat down to read. Contacted my wimpy senators instead. My kingdom for a grown-up country, I swear.

Popcorn and hockey

The algorithm would really like me to slice up an orange and dry it in the oven all day to make Christmas decorations and it just might win.

Do I need a puffy vest? I feel like I need a puffy vest.

Of course I don’t post selfies. Like normal people my age I grew up hating the way I looked

I don’t fly a flag from the back of my truck but there’s a piece of an old waney oak joist with some cut nails still in it back there

A pair of great horned owls have returned the woods behind our place. It's so comforting to hear their song. I realize there’s probably something deeply mystical and prophetic about them but I’m still going to skeet about bearded clams today

Alice in Wonderlanding. Feeling both little and big at the same time.

Me to my spouse in our 20s: Do you want to try anal? Me to my spouse in our 50s: Do you want to try birdwatching?

Until next year

Garage dance party. Ooo I forgot I have those muscles.

I love it when I get all my sleeping done by 4am. Awesome.

I dunno maybe we could get together later and sob for a little while y'know for funsies

I don’t like to get political, but when is the price of hockey cards gonna come down?

Durn if the leaves ain’t falling faster than I can rake them into my neighbor’s garage

Ate five cookies while trying to convince myself that I don't need to make spaghetti at 9:00 at night

Let them not feel the hunger to eat cake.

My five year plan? Probably just to say, “I’m really not feeling it today,” 1,825 times.

i’m gonna dance while doing the dishes about it

Sending warm fuzzies your way

no one wants to hear about your no nut november

Deciphering messages from space.

Going to run away with the moon.

When a kid asks you why bad things happen to good ppl you gotta tell em that’s how superheroes are made

I set our clocks back and gain a pound.