her speech was about leaving afghanistan for an education & i’m still crying

Walking to a more cowbell beat

Starting Romance Weekend. Look away!

Food eaten 40 miles (or more) from home has no calories. This is a true fact.

Surprising find in moms art as I dig through it all - a print of a painting of a quahog (clam), never framed. Not sure where she bought it.

doing nothing is self care

How come we park in a driveway, but are slowly and relentlessly tortured by our past with regret and anguish.

These ladies are singing in french over a drum machine, of course I fell in love.

Tomorrow I’ll shop the half off moms sale and see if I can find one that’s proud of me

Me and mom, doin donuts on the church house lawn.

Them: “Happy Mother’s Day!” Me: “Thanks. You too!” Them: “Uhh… I’m not a mother.” Me: “Neither am I.” Historically likely to have this conversation with random strangers who can’t imagine a woman my age never whelped.

This is my emotional support hour in the sun. No really.

I’ve met a lot of things I hope at least one of them was an alien

if I found out someone built a gold statue of me I'd beat them within an inch of their life

I did start the fire

THE HUMMINGBIRDS ARE BACK!!!!!!

Hey, wanna hang out in the hotel bar & drink coffee for a while & discuss the meaning of life & then walk around the city until we're lost & our legs are sore & we stop for food & devour big sandwiches & then maybe find some bourbons & talk about life again? No? Oh, yeah, no, cool, me neither.

I'll take you anywhere you want to go, baby. Crazy. Broke. Anywhere.

Happy wife, happy life < No wife, deep fried pizza every night

Early morning meeting cutting into my electric slide time

Did anyone get today's secret code word?

Me: I love you. Her: Hit the road, bud.

I get all the news I need from my friend who eats dandelions

Morning is the ocean and coffee is a life raft.

did i leave the house only because i was out of bird food...yes because i cant disappoint my friends.

Never carried a bag till I needed a Mary Poppins bag & my ibuprofen spilled in it so I dug in to take some out, ate a loose jelly bean & picked out the stray Legos so I don’t gotta poop any out

My immune system no longer accepts my health insurance but it recommended the mom of somebody I knew 25yrs ago and she has a smudge stick

Brain broke. I can only do moon forecasting from now on. Tonight's moon will be a waning gibbous. Good luck.

It’s a tale as old as time: he went to buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack, never came back

may the forth save us from star wars fans

Give us this day our daily bluebird. 🪶

Today’s walk

Not a great weekend for the Boston sports faithful. I’m gonna start rooting for herring propagation instead

If you’re not paying attention you should be paying attention and if you are paying attention then what the fuck are you even doing?

When something happens that changes everything

Ready for a full week of chucking a paving stone as high into the air as possible & letting it come crashing down between my outstretched hands & into my face.

just counting cars & wild turkeys please send nudes

in new hampshire the daiquiris start at 7:45 in the morning

*triumphantly stays awake for a 4th straight night

chapters end, stories linger

Nice to meet you

Wearing my sweatshirt with the word human on it and I've never been so embarrassed.

Saw a guy do over two hours of music on stage last night, including singing a couple of songs he wrote some sixty years ago - meanwhile, do you remember what you had for breakfast yesterday? (For that matter, can you sit upright for two hours?)

when flowers roll out the red carpet for you

When your old man whisper screams for the binoculars, you drop everything.

nice best laid plans you got there, would be a shame if life happened to them

The ducks came back today and the glee in my heart might be what my doctor meant by midlife transition.

Pretty sure I just saw a hummingbird, but I’m not sure. Gonna stand by the feeder for the next 8hrs to confirm

doing what they want only makes them want more